I had returned to Madison's place, as for the she-wolf I had badly injured she returned to the land as well with us along with her pup. Alpha Deucalion had decided to help her out until she was okay to leave.
We found out that she was a victim of The Grey Pack member and the forced Luna of the Pack. The alpha had not only compelled her to be his mate even though they were not fated mates, but he also pressured her to get intimate with him which ended her with twins, a girl and a boy who was only 7 years old. I felt sorry for her and worst of what I did. I was so upset with myself and feared what I almost become, angry, too angry, and merciless like the alpha.
"Is she going to be okay?" I sat up on the bed as Madison entered my room.
"She's fine," Madison retorted.
"And her pups?" I again asked.
The frightening look in their eyes and spots of their mother's blood on their grey fur, it was tormenting me at what I'd done. I was not that type of wolf, violent. They forced me to become who I was, every wolf who had made my life hell.
"They'll be fine as well."
"Are you sure?" I asked worriedly.
They were far too young to experience something so frightening, and worst it was by me.
What have I become? I began to cry.
Madison ran over to me and hugged me.
"Please stop blaming yourself for what you did, for everything you've been through it would cause any wolf to snap."
I nodded.
She kissed me on my forehead.
"Madison," I called softly recollecting something the alpha said when we were in the depth of the forest.
"Will I become like him?" I asked fretfully.
I didn't want the horrible treatment I received to turn me into someone I hated.
"No you won't," she held me tighter.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"I just know," she looked at me.
My head turned away sadly.
"I thought you said I would have found my mate during the full moon," I told her.
"I'm sorry," apologized Madison. "I saw how excited you were knowing about the full moon and I didn't want to disappoint you that not every she-wolf finds their mate at 18."
I thought I had found my mate during the full moon and he was killed by the alpha, but I didn't find him. The wolf I saw in his human form was just a Grey Pack member preparing to take me away. I am relieved that it never happened but still sad about what he did to me.
"Will I ever find my mate?" I asked worriedly.
It hurt that I'll never have someone to call my own or to protect me.
My head turned to Madison not hearing her reply.
"Or I'll be mateless like the alpha?"I again asked.
The alpha didn't find his mate, I understand why for him. He deserves to be by himself but I was scared of ending up in the same situation as him.
Madison stared at me.
"Please don't hold back any information from me again," I told her.
"I assure you, you'll find your mate when he's ready to be known," she said with a smile.
I know Madison didn't know and she was just trying to make me feel better. I just needed something to hold onto, and hoped that one day perhaps I would find my mate.
My body was starting to heal faster which was good, I was feeling less pain and my swelling was gone.
I had lost my appetite though, I wasn't eating the amount of food a wolf should and I was having nightmares, constant nightmares of being raped over and over again by him.
Madison would rush into my room from my screaming.
I thought things would be better for me no longer having the Grey Pack Member to fear but it wasn't.
My room had become my safe place and I didn't want to leave or to even take a shower.
Madison was becoming worried about me. I hated that I was causing her to be worried.
The door opened and I saw Madison entering my room with breakfast. She placed it beside me and I felt like puking just looking at it. I hated forcing myself to eat.
Madison went over to the window to open it.
"Please don't," I stopped her.
"I can't stand to see you behave like this anymore," she ignored me.
She pulled the curtain allowing my eyes to be shut from the bright light and opened the window allowing cool air to enter.
I covered my head with my sheet.
"Rain, you're going to leave this room and house today for a walk," Madison instructed me.
"I don't want to," I retorted gravely.
I understand that she was trying to help me but I hated she was forcing me to.
"If you continue like this your depression will become worse," Madison told me.
The cover came from my head and I sat up.
"I don't want to leave this room, bad things always happened to me when I leave my safe spot," I told her.
It did, if I'd never left the depth of the forest I wouldn't have met the cruel alpha and I wouldn't have been raped.
Madison came and sat beside me and held my hand.
"Hun, I'm happy you feel safe here but you can't stay in here forever. You're a part of a pack now and you're safe within this land not only within this home."
"Please eat and accompanied me to the supermarket to purchase some things," said Madison.
As much as I didn't want to leave the house, I decided to go.
Madison watched me as I ate a small amount of my breakfast and sipped the tea that was now cold. After I was through she followed me into the bathroom and helped me take a bath. She wrapped a towel around my naked body and we went back into my room to get dressed.
"You should start wearing a bra," said Madison as she took out a strange wear from the drawer.
I looked at it strangely.
"It covers your breast," explained Madison.
"Why?" I asked confused.
I was wearing enough clothes to hide my breast why did I need that?
"To help your breast stay in place when you run," she said.
She came over to me and I touched it. It felt weird.
"I don't want to wear it," I told her.
"Okay, then I won't pressure you."
Madison gave me a underwear I put it on and soon the red dress. I was starting to get the hang of putting on my own clothes.
Madison smiled proudly at me.
"There's going to be a lot for you to learn since you're staying here," she said.
I nodded.
While Madison went to her room to get dressed I played around with the strange black bra. A finger poked the inside that look like a hold to insert the breast. I threw it across the room not liking it. It must feel weird strapping down my breast in one place I thought.
Madison and I soon were heading downstairs.
She opened the front door and I just stood there not wanting to leave.
"Let us go," said Madison.
I studied the outside and an uncomfortable feeling run through my gut. I ran upstairs immediately.
"Rain."