I balled my hands into fist.
My fist collided into Scars chest, one, two, three, both of them assaulting him hard and fast.
He didn't move even an inch, even as I hit him with all the strength left in my body. He took it all. He took all my anger and pain and hurt.
It angered me so much that I couldn't inflict some kind of pain on him just like he was doing to me.
"You are hiding who you are from the person you say you love. What are you so scared of?" I cried out.
"Mira please listen to me." He whispered, calmly.
He held my hands which were already tiring, holding my wrist in place on his hard chest.
"Everything I have ever done is to protect you, every single thing I've done is for you. Lately it feels like you are the only thing that exist, as if I never existed before I met you. Every where I go, everything I do, I do for you. All I want is to make sure that you are happy. I need you to understand just how much you mean to me, you are all that matters now, everything that is important, and I just can't lose you. I can't take any chances, I refuse to. I'm choosing you over me like I would do over and over again."
"I'm nothing to you right, just a broken girl? Someone who is just there for you to protect and guide. I am not worthy enough to be told your secret, right? Not even your name." I sobbed.
Scar pulled me into his arms and held me in place. I couldn't even struggle anymore. I felt so weak now leaning against him.
I sobbed and tried to breath in, resting on his shoulders as my tears dripped down my face and wet his black top.
He held the back of my head, caressing my hair softly.
"Mira please that's enough. Please Don't say anymore you are killing me." Scar pleaded.
I could hear his heart beating wildly against mine. Our heartbeats were everywhere. There was no rhythm to it, it was like a horrible Jazz song being harmonized with broken instruments.
Maybe because we were both shattering each other.
"I'm so scared Scar. I'm so scared I feel empty. I am in love with a stranger." I muttered as the realization dawned on me.
Scar sighed, pulling me away from his embrace.
He put his middle finger on my chin forcing me to look into his eyes.
His eyes were as dark as the night, I was buried whole in them.
They were a fiery, pulling, consuming abyss. An abyss built just for me.
The moon Illuminated the stairs causing me to have a heavenly feeling of being afloat in an ocean far away, in times where the moon is so full it feels almost like the water shone like stars.
But Scars eyes were hell, dragging me to him. To the dark fire of emptiness and untamed flames.
I was choosing him.
I was choosing hell and I was losing myself.
"Look at me, put your hand on my chest, feel my heart beating, believe me, no one knows me better than you do, no one. How can you not know me I'm filled with you." He put my hand on the left side of his chest so I could feel his heart beating. My hands stayed there a little longer than it should. That's when he kissed me, a deep passionate kiss, a kiss I would never forget just like all his kisses before this.
I was the one who pulled away this time, just before his hands could move down my ass.
I couldn't give in.
But I swear to God that all I wanted to do was give in. But I couldn't and it hurt so bad.
I have to end this pain.
"Please leave." I said weakly, but I was firm in my resolve.
"I don't want to."
"It is not your choice to make. Please leave." I screamed, shaking, daring my neighbors to come out.
Scar saw that my mind was made up through the firmness of resolve in my eyes and he sighed deeply like the whole universe had been dropped on his broad shoulders.
"Never forget that I love you. You may lose your mind and all sanity. You may lose everything you've ever had. You may lose yourself, but you will never lose me. My love for you will never be lost." He whispered, his eyes filled with unshed tears. A teardrop fell down, but he quickly wiped it away.
He left, leaving me to stare at the empty space of nothingness, a broken pedestal.
All I wanted was for him to let me in, to let me know who he was beyond those scars, to tell me about those fears he never told anyone before.
I wanted to know of those times when he felt pain and the times he felt joy. I wanted to know him, to be filled with him. To be filled with him so much so that I would know when his smile was forced or when he was uncomfortable. I wanted to know everything about him. But here I was, I couldn't even get his name.
Love sucks.
There was a pain in my heart, a pain I could not quite fathom.
A pain that felt as though a hand was clutching my heart, squeezing it, daring me to breath only so I could feel the pain with more clarity.
But it was clearer than day already that the pain was there, the fear, and I could do nothing because I just chased away my guardian Angel.
I felt like I was suffocating and all I could think of was. God! I love him so much.
He was fire and he succeeded in melting my heart.
Loving him was driving me insane yet, I could not stop loving him, I just couldn't and I didn't know why. But it had to end like this so much for being happy. I guess it was all just a charade of empty promises.
Have you ever felt so much pain that you become numb? That was how I felt now.
My body had reached its pain threshold, so I felt nothing anymore. Pain had been the only feeling present, and now that I no longer felt it, I felt nothing.
A new life begins for me that I was sure of. I just didn't know if it would be with scar or if we would ever see each other again.
Maybe the stars do not approve of our love, for what kind of love could exist between a Scarred man with lots of secrets and a broken, tainted girl with lots of pain.