"You ever thought of writing?" Scar suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had enveloped us.
"Yea.. But I'm not much of a writer... I'll settle for being a speaker or something like that. Although sometimes when I feel sad I write poems."
"That works too."
He brought his thumb to my lips, caressing it.
I couldn't breathe anymore as I waited in anxiety for what next he was going to do.
Scar leaned in and I moved closer to him. My racing heart beat and the sound of my neighbours generator hitting against the protector each flat balcony had, had that same rhythm likes bombs waiting to explode.
The earth was on standstill waiting for our lips to entwine and it did.
I let out a low moan of intense pleasure when Scars thrust his tongue into my mouth forcing me to hold him tight. My hand squeezing his shirt.
He was kissing me slowly, yet sensually and thoroughly. It felt so good how his lips worked mine.
But I wanted more. I wanted him to touch me. To make love to me and make me a woman, his woman.
Right now he could do anything to me and I won't mind. I belonged to him wholly. My mind, my soul, my body, my heart, everything.
I was the puppet and he was the master.
We stopped to catch our breath, but ended up gazing at the sky.
I was kind of shy as it would be the first time I kissed him and continued to stay by his side without running out almost immediately.
He called my name but it was such a soft whisper that I was surprised I heard it. But with him whatever my ears failed to hear my heart understood.
"You know I sometimes try to count the stars." he chuckled our hands still intertwined.
"That must be a very fascinating thing to do, your life must be easy then." I teased. I knew his life was anything but easy, he had a Scar that made people label him a monster and get scared of him. I was not sure he had a family either. In addition to all this he had to love me. Loving me was excruciating a task enough.
"I've not really had an easy going life you know." He sighed. He quickly smiled, I guess he just realised that I was here by his side. "You are teasing me are you not?" He asked, using his ring finger to poke my ribs. I laughed, a laugh that came from the inside.
"I've not either. You know I try not to cry, I try to never show my weakness to others after all they are mine alone so I don't think I have to let others know about them. I have spent so much time hiding my weaknesses I have actually started forgetting my strengths. But with you, that has changed."
He grinned at me, putting his hands around my shoulders. He pulled me closer to him so that my head rested on his chest.
I inhaled in, trying to memorize his scent. He smelt like everything that I wanted; freedom, passion, adrenaline, peace, power. Everything.
We stayed quiet, a comfortable silence devoid of any anxiety, filled with bliss, a silence that stretched the length of time.
The only other noise that could be heard apart from the generator sound was the sound of our hearts beating. Scar was still focussed on the sky like he was searching for something. It was becoming amusing.
"You looking for a comet?" I asked breaking the silence.
"No I'm staring at your eyes." He replied, with a grin. He still refused to look up at me.
I wanted him to look at me. I wanted the sugary feeling that came with me knowing that he had his eyes set on me. Only on me.
"Ehm sorry to dispute whatever you think you are doing but my eyes are right here." I chuckled softly, blinking. "This thing moving is called my eyes, and they are mine. Because they are on my body, is logic. Learn it."
"What was moving was your eye lash Mira, not your eyes." He face palmed, choking out a laugh. "Stop trying to be sarcastic you suck at it."
Jerk! How dare him laugh at me? As long as there was an eye in the eye lash I was right? yeah.
Jerk.
Well at least now he did look at me.
"Can you see it?" he asked pointing at the sky. "You see those two stars over there, they are the brightest of all the other stars and they are identical. Those are your eyes the brightest and the most beautiful."
My eyes followed his hands and I did see the stars and they indeed were the brightest. They stood out like they were different, unique.
"I'm speechless." I rolled my eyes.
"Common you were supposed to go awww, I was trying to be romantic."
I chuckled and hugged him, my head rested on his shoulders, my hands rounded his waist. "You are romantic when you don't try to be."
I wanted to say more than that, to flatter him a bit more, to tell him all the things that made him unique but I found that I had no words.
He made me so happy that I lost my ability to construct a correct sentence, or to even think. If I had said something other than what I said, I would have ended up slurring.
He laughed. "I try to be romantic for you."
I noticed that he did not hug me back or touch me rather his body became stiff when my hands circled him in a hug. I didn't know what to feel but then I remembered.
Ken, even in his absence he still managed to torment my mind.
Or maybe it was just me jumping into conclusions like Scar had told me I liked doing.
"You are mad at me right? for what I did." I asked, voicing out my thoughts. I was scared, I was so scared of losing him. Never had I feared losing someone like I was scared of losing him.
Even though I knew that I did not deserve him I didn't want to live without him. That made me selfish, but how do I stop myself from feeling this way.
He came into my life and he destroyed the walls that I had spent years building. He took it down, brick by brick so that it was so slow it wasn't noticeable. And by the time he was done I was Left vulnerable.
"I'm not mad at you hell I'm not even upset.. I can't ever be mad at you.. You have no Idea.. How.. How much you mean to me. I don't even have an idea." He blurted out, craning his neck so he could look at me.
I rested my forehead on his shoulders and sniffed.
"I know you care about me that's why I'm so..so sorry...I'm so so sorry." I sniffed. The tears that I had been holding unto since Monday fell down my eyes in reckless abandon. He pressed my head on his shoulder then he rubbed my back, soothing me with his voice.
His voice, my soul, they were friends.
"Please don't cry."
He smelt so good like.. Like... Like Paradise.
I finally stopped crying after saying how sorry I was like a hundred times.
"Please don't cry anymore. You know, I hate to see you cry." His voice broke to a painful whisper.
"I hate crying you know that!" I cleaned my eyes on his shirt and held onto his shoulders. He was my anchor the only one that made me feel some kind of stability. I inhaled, drinking in him, allowing myself to be intoxicated. The kind that could only be likened to drunkenness. I was drunk and he was my fine Italian wine of 100% alcohol, alcohol so potent that even a sip could get me drunk.
I did not plan to take only a sip of him even though it would have been enough; I planned to gulp down the entire content of the wine. To enjoy it as it burnt my throat and consumed my soul.