Athena
I looked at the sky, finding the endless blue of it mesmerizing and feeling drawn to it like a bird wishing to explore the depth of the beautiful white clouds floating freely over it as if it was their own safe territory they set high above, forbidding everyone who planned to invade it.
My emotions were not a mess but whatever their state, it turned out to be one of the biggest mysteries for me to solve. I was unable to decipher my feelings but to say the truth, I was reluctant in trying to put them in place anyways.
For the first time in all these months, I felt one less burden hanging on my back that would have eventually dragged me more down to the pitfall I have been trying to escape. But this wasn't the relief I was looking for, and at this point, I did not even know if I was going to regret my decision over the course of time that might fly away like a stroke of cold wind.
I was determined but this did not give me freedom from the guilt that was growing at some corner to suppress me underneath it. The only thing that kept me standing on my feet was the thought of my child.
I'd never thought motherhood could feel so lovely but alas! I couldn't even enjoy this lovely feeling because the thought of my mate was constantly bugging me, putting everything going in my head under a cluttered mess of questions none had the answers for.
It was hurtful to think that I was planning on leaving Sebastian and the life I'd dreamt with him behind. But, at the same time, what has this bond even given me? Nothing other than excruciating pain and miseries that'd haunt me forever.
This bond was supposed to be a burden, and nothing more than that but it wasn't. It was more than just a bond for me. I loved that man with all of my heart, I could die for him but...I couldn't give up my child.
Some decisions are hard to take but they need to be taken anyways— That is how this life works.
Maybe, Sebastian would always remain just like a dream for me, that life I had imagined would only reside in my mind but never come true.
It hurt to accept but in this fight, my love has lost and the curse won. The same darkness that was once drawn by the cruel fate to our lives, has succeeded in destroying us. But I'd not let this darkness loom anyway near my child's life, I'd not let this world snatch the things it snatched from me, and my mate as well.
A low sigh slipped past my lips on its own, the despair and strange ache in the core of my heart increasing every time a thought crossed my mind. They were loud and clear, urging me to face the reality when I have already accepted it, or maybe...I haven't.
The sound of the door opening broke me out of my trance and as my stare moved to the door, I saw Sarah walking inside. She had a worried look on her face that didn't seem alarming at first glance, however, when she walked closer and I caught the light trembling of her hands along with her rushed breathing, I became sure that she wasn't here to only check up on me.
She seemed worried and nervous which gave me an idea of what might come next.
"Athena, Alpha's going to be here within tonight. He's on his way back." As expected she gave me the news that I was expecting to hear.
"Oh." This was the only reaction I mustered.
It was not startling, I was expecting his arrival anyways and the sooner he came, the sooner I could end this too.
She looked a bit surprised at my cold reaction, perhaps she had thought I'd be stressed out which was in fact a very common case for me, but not today. I had no fear, for once, I did not have any dread regarding facing him. Maybe it was because now I knew that this fight was not for me only, there was a soul I needed to protect.
As Sarah tried to look for words but remained unable to come up with anything as a response, setting my hands I decided to open my mouth.
"How did you know Alpha's coming today?"
"Oh, well..." She hesitated for a mere second but spoke soon enough, breaking the very short-lasting silence between us, "I overheard Celine, I presume she was talking to Alpha."
"Right, he had to tell her about everything. It's one of his necessities." I chuckled, bitter and cold.
Of course, how could he forget to give his mistress every news of his daily life? He preferred to make her more of a part of himself than me. Good for him, once I leave, she'll be the one he'd have to live for the rest of his life or maybe till she gets to her motive.
I did not really fear her and Vincent who was supposedly involved with her as well, because Sebastian was capable of protecting himself. But the thought of my safety worried me at some point, but why didn't I fear the chances of facing the odds?
I felt like I have become this whole other person. Only a few days and one discovery were what it has taken to turn me into someone different. The strength and confidence that surged into me like a cyclone was incredible to feel, yet somehow unnerving if I think deeply about the nominal consequences that might occur if I didn't get to grasp this power in the way it was supposed to be walled in.
"Athena, do you plan on keeping the baby?" Sarah's sudden question made my heart stop for a second.
After a few moments of silence, I decided to speak, "Yes."
"How are you going to keep it? I'm sorry if I sound as if I am doubting you but you can't keep it hidden from Alpha. Werewolf's pregnancy becomes very evident once they enter the third month," She spoke softly.
"Well, lucky enough I don't exactly have a wolf though it's true her almost non-existing presence has started becoming a bit more evident nowadays, I think in this case of pregnancy I'd turn out a bit lucky," I blew out a sigh, not breaking my eyes away from the scenery of the sky, "Besides, it's not really an issue I'd bother to spare my attention on, you know I'd not prefer my child to grow up in an environment like this. The curse of Sebastian makes him no less of a monster than his own father was."
"What do you mean? Are you thinking of—"
I did her the favour by answering her unfinished question, "Yes, I'm leaving Sebastian."
She seemed shocked by my confession; Almost as if she couldn't believe what I was saying.
It was very obvious for her because she had once seen the need to save my mate burn in my eyes, she saw how far I was ready to go to bring him back. But it all has changed, so fast and in a way that I, myself couldn't realize it. I still felt those same things but it was for my child.
"What?" She blurted out, her slightly widened eyes telling me how flabbergasted she was, "Athena, what are you saying?"
"You heard it right, Sarah. I'm leaving him," I finally turned to look at her, " Me and Sebastian, we are now at a point where either one of us has to take a step back if the other one doesn't take one forward and Sebastian is never ever going to be the one to step forward. It's all going to be a repeat cycle and I am going to be one getting destroyed. I can't fight for two, and I can't sacrifice my child. So, the only way I could get something meaningful out of the damaged lives of me and my mate, on both of our behalfs, is giving this child a life none of us had."
She fell silent. Her confusion had faded, however, I could sense her concern.
"Alpha will not let you go, Athena. He'd never let you do it, and even more, now that you are pregnant, he'd not allow you to leave." She spoke after a while, "He might end up hurting you and the baby, in the progress."
"That's all he's been doing—Hurting me. I am used to it, now. At this stage, there's nothing I can't handle."
"Athena if you really plan on leaving, I won't stop you. I know what you have gone through and you deserve a better life, but there are so many dangers out there. Everyone knows whose mate you are and this puts you at moderate risk, his enemies might come after you and your child," She said, "Who's gonna be there to ensure your safety? How are you going to manage all alone?"
"I know what are the risks that are waiting for me in the outside world, but I don't have any other choice. Tell me is Sebastian any less of a risk to this child? There are very less chances that Sebastian is not going to hurt the baby under the effects of his curse. He ends up hurting anyone who makes him feel anything at all, he's incapable of love and emotions," I was determined about my decision.
The questions she was asking were the same ones that rose when I'd first thought of leaving, but fortunately, I have my answers and now I had one less obstacle to deal with.
"I have thought of all of it, Sarah. And I can't let another life get torn in the destruction of this havoc. Sebastian's still stuck in his past, it's all around him and I have tried hard, with everything I have, but I couldn't break them. There are no possibilities that he's ever going to recover from what he'd faced," My voice trembled, "It fucking hurts that I'm leaving him like this, but I have to. I'd rather save this child and secure a beautiful future for him than be long gone for the wrong."
Noticing my restlessness and troubled breathing, Sarah walked closer to me and engulfed me in a hug.
"Shhh...calm down. It's okay," She cooed, gently rubbing my back.
Apparently, she'd foreseen me breaking down by the unshed tears glistening in my eyes; Soon as she embraced me, just like I'd feared, I broke down into sobs.
"My heart's breaking down even at the thought of leaving Sebastian, Sarah. I don't want to leave him like this, and the fact that he's possibly the biggest risk to our baby is shattering me into pieces. Even in this hell, I'd dreamt of a beautiful future with him but now I know, that dream will always remain a dream," Words couldn't describe what I was going through, my insides were burning in agony, "It is the greatest loss I am going to have to endure, the loss of a mate but I can see no other way than this. I'd have to live without him, knowing that he's still stuck under his curse, suppressed by his demons so bad that he could never get a taste of love. Yes, I am acting selfish and even cowardly to some extent, but that is for my child."
"Neither you are acting selfish nor you are a coward, Athena," She slowly pulled away and looked at me, "You are one of the bravest women I have ever seen. You are the one who's making the sacrifice here, you are fighting for everyone, your mate and your child..."
"B-but I'm leaving him and he nee—"
"Yes, you are leaving him but in no way, that makes you selfish or a coward. You are sacrificing your dreams for your child, and tell me, how can a mother's sacrifice can ever make her selfish?" She flashed me a small smile.
I could not get anything out of my mouth.
What could I even say? I was planning on leaving everything behind, and what was worse was that this pain was just the beginning. Each day I might end up blaming myself over and over again, for leaving him but if I stayed, I'd still be blaming myself.
I was stuck in the middle of this dilemma, where there was havoc on both sides.
"Don't worry that much. I know raising a baby alone is not easy. Motherhood is not easy, no matter how blissful it is to be a mother. But I am sure, you are going to make it, you'd be able to overcome all of the storms crashing your way. Don't ever doubt yourself, just stay strong." She comforted me.
"Thank you, Sarah," I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, "Thank you for all the times you helped me despite all the risks it got you into. I'll forever be grateful for it."
"You don't need to thank me in any way. Trust me, I am more than happy to be able to help you," She spoke, "But Athena, I am afraid, Alpha might not let you leave. It's better for you to escape before Alpha arrives. Once he arrives, I don't think it'd be possible for you to escape."
"I want to talk to him for one last time," I let out a sigh.
"What?" Her mouth nearly hung open, "You know he'd not let you leave if you tell him about your pregnancy, don't you?"
"Yes, I am aware of it. He is not the one to win every time, Sarah. But I need to talk to him; I don't know if it's the hope that the news might change him or only the mere need to face him for the last time before I leave.....I just want to talk."
"What if he cages you again? It's nothing impossible for him to keep you trapped or even bring you back after your escape with just one hint and within an hour, he has people who are loyal as dogs to him only for money and power," She said, dismay flooding her gaze, "You need to be at a safe place before he gets to know it. You need that security to make sure he doesn't find you."
"I know, and I have thought of everything. Don't worry, I'll be fine and this time, I will not lose this battle."
A few minutes of silence stretched between us, I could there were so many questions running through her head but thankfully she didn't ask any of them and decided to trust my words.
"I hope you know what you are doing." She finally sighed in defeat.
"Trust me, I know."