Athena
The best thing about this small town Rye was its sky— Well, at least for me it was through the beautiful lakesides that did keep good competition with the mesmerising beauty of the endless sky.
"What's there in the sky that fascinates you so much?" Shelly asked.
"I don't know. Maybe because it's free— Out of anyone's reach, beyond any boundaries." I let out a sigh, my eyes never tore away from the view of the sky that engulfed a strange attire today— In the depth of its blue there were dark clouds that fought to break from beneath and show up on the surface. Nonetheless, the beauty of it hadn't been hampered, nor did the dark clouds reach the nearest possibility of overshadowing its magnificence.
"And you aren't?"
"None of us is, we are stuck in some way."
"How so?" Confusion drew upon her face and she leaned her back against the counter I was standing opposite, there was curiosity jarring in her eyes that asked me to speak.
I had the answer to Shelly's question but I didn't think she needed to hear that. Painting her mind with my painful view of life was not necessary nor was it right. Moreover, I did not have the intention to give away the crippling misery I have gone through and perhaps was still stuck in the same mess.
"I'll explain that later," I let out a chuckle, "Now tell me, have you packed the stuff for the charity event?"
"Oh yeah, almost all of them have been packed," She answered, easily getting off track of our previous conversation, "We still need to pack a few more things. The event is kinda huge, there are going to be a lot of people, especially the honourable businessmen who help run the charity. A huge amount of the donations come from them."
"Oh, I see. They must be kind people to help the association with no profits at all."
"Yes they are, isn't that amazing that amidst all the greedy, malicious and selfish people around, there are still some who are willing to help the one in need? It feels really good to know there's still good left in this world."
"Yeah, it actually is," I nodded, a small smile took over my lips, "And. look, it's just so incredible that we too are able to help the people, in some way, with our small donations even though it's merely a vestige amount compared to their ones. It's genuinely a good decision of the community to take an initiative like this— at least we are saving a few lives from getting destroyed. Those children are living the good life they deserve instead of living on the streets and the victims are receiving facilities and the respect they should be given."
"Yes, you are right," She spoke, "Anyways, you, Georgia and a few more are going to be joining the event and delivering the pastry items. I want no trouble, that's why I am trusting you with this. Keep our disobedient mischiefs in check, and make sure that they do the work properly, okay?"
"Disobedient mischief?" A snicker left my mouth on its own. That was a very horrible way to address our co-workers.
"Well, they are no less than that, I say," Chuckling, she shook her head.
"You won't be going with us?"
"No, my spinal pain has worsened a bit due to overworking for the past few days," She let out a slight groan and her hand settled at her lower back, her discomfort becoming evident on her face, "Going there would mean booking myself one month of bed rest and I can't afford that at this moment when our bakery has finally begun to get on track."
"Oh, shelly...why don't you just take care of yourself?" I sighed.
"That's rich coming from you, Miss night owl." There was suddenly a complete shift in her tone, more likely accusing.
"Excuse me? Maybe you failed to notice that but let me remind you—I was actually being nice to you." Offended by her statement that had a really close connection to the truth, I rested my hands on my hips and frowned at her.
"So?" She decided to press on my nerves.
"So?!" Disbelief screamed through my voice suppressed low, "You are choosing violence, right now!"
"Yeah, so what?" She shrugged, "It's not like only you have the right to get one people's nerves."
"Oh well, you are trying to get on my nerves right now?"
"Uh-huh, not trying. I think I have already succeeded." She winked and walked away.
"Shelly, you have not succeeded!" I yelled from my place.
"Yeah, yeah, keep telling that to yourself."
"This conversation isn't over. Wait!"
And I followed her, completely and utterly aware of the fact that our banter was going to go on for hours.
******
Night— The time that makes me feel loneliest.
After the hours of my day that usually went on smoothly with the wholesome interactions with my co-workers and Shelly, these few hours felt burdening. It wouldn't have if only I could sleep without having the past knocking on the door every time I closed my eyes.
I felt lonely. When I'd left him....deep down, I thought life was going to be easier.
But I missed him. I craved his presence beside me, I desired to be in his arms, breathe in his scent and hear his heartbeats, even though I hated myself from my core for wanting those things.
His memories were inseparable. I could do nothing to wipe him off of my heart and soul— He was imprinted there.
And as I stood in front of the mirror now, looking at his name engraved on the skin below my breast— I constantly reminded myself of the reasons I should keep hating him and not let the love that destroyed me bloom within my heart ever again.
I still had his marks all over me— Six months had faded nothing. Nor his touch, nor his marks and nor his power over me.
That's why I never wished to meet him again because I knew I might fall weak and if I fell this time, I wouldn't be able to get up. My legs won't support me anymore, my soul won't fight and my eyes won't let me look at myself the same way.
My wolf has gone through every one of the memories stored deep in my head and that's why she never showed the desire to meet her mate.
Indeed, she and Sebastian's wolf had no fault in any of these— They are stuck in our bodies, two people whose destinies are miles apart and opposite, residing on two sides of the sea, having no way to intertwine.
Who had the power to alter the rules of nature and write their fates? None.
A lone tear slipped and slid down my cheek and I pulled the robe back to cover my body.
"Don't think about him," I told myself, a trembling sigh left my mouth, "He destroyed you and you...didn't deserve that."
I walked back to my room. The atmosphere of the apartment crackled with the same dangerous silence found within me.
I did not want to weep for a person like me who has only pushed me away, not giving a shit that he was constantly breaking me apart in the process and burning me with the flames of his vengeance.
I knew all of my life was ahead of me....but mine felt far behind. I knew what I should be doing, I knew what should be done, I knew what I needed in my life and I knew what burden I should let go of. I knew....yet I knew nothing.
As I let my body drop on the bed, resting my head on the pillow, my eyes facing the plain white ceiling— Voices shrouded my head. Loud echoes and harsh sounds— My own cries and screams, the cruel words once he said to me and the sound of my dreams breaking into mere pieces.
But amidst this, a small yelp of a child broke through my thoughts. A soft cry of help from the innocent soul I never got to see, caused my body to shoot up straight, sitting once again. I struggled to breathe, my lungs wanted to collapse and sweat covered my forehead.
Pain curved itself inside my chest, my throat hurt as I tried hard not to cry.
Don't cry, Athena. Don't cry.
Before I could begin drowning in the same misery and struggle to fight the weight of regret, my phone rang putting everything going in my head to a stop.
My wavering eyes moved to the nightstand to find my phone, and I reached for it. The number seemed kind of familiar, however, my stressed mind failed to recognize it.
"Hello?" I spoke after a few moments of answering the phone.
"Hey, couldn't sleep?" Aaron's voice sounded from the other side and quickly cleared my doubt of not being able to understand the familiarity with the number— Of course, it isn't a secret that I forgot to save it on my phone.
"Yeah," I breathed out, feeling somewhat relieved to have someone to talk to.
"What happened? Why do you sound this tense?" He seemed to notice the tremble in my voice.
"Well, it's nothing," I shrugged it off, "I have a habit of sleeping late anyways."
"I have a feeling what you said is only half true," He pressed, already more than enough reluctant to let go of this topic until given an answer, "Tell me, did you have a nightmare?"
After remaining silent for a few minutes, I ultimately spoke up, "Kind of. Some memories are nightmares, aren't they?"
This was his turn to fall silent but he broke it sooner than I'd assumed he would.
"Tell me something, do you think you'll be able to sleep in the next few hours?" The sudden question that was wholly out of context took me aback.
"I am sure, maybe no?"
"Great! I have got plenty of time to pass 'cause I am unable to sleep as well," He said, "Let's talk the night away!"
"Wait, are you being serious right now?" I did not know why but I was having a hard time believing that he was actually being serious.
"Yes, I am absolutely serious," He sounded enthusiastic, like a child at some point, "Why? Do you have a problem talking to me? Let me tell you, it'd be your loss— I am very entertaining sometimes."
"Oh really? And mind telling me what makes you think you are entertaining?" A chuckle left my mouth.
"You don't believe me?" He faked a voice of hurt, "It's a pity that sweet men like us are being doubted nowadays."
"Okay okay, I believe you. Now stop being dramatic," I sighed, having a hard time trying to stop my laughter.
"Now tell me, are you ready?"
"For what?"
"For a night-long conversation, dummy."
"Hey, I am not a dummy." I cut in.
"Okay, but it kinda seems like it." From what I could tell from his voice, he was actually enjoying the sudden turn this conversation has taken.
"You want to argue?" I asked.
"I don't think it's not going to be boring, is it?" He stretched out an utterly artificial curious voice, "Why not try arguing instead of just talking? It sounds so much fun."
Why a laugh left my mouth and why the nightmares did not come to attack me while I lay on the bed, with the phone in my hand, was a mystery I did not bother to solve.
I chose to do myself the favour and cherish the moment.
"Okay, then. Let's argue."