Sebastian
My hand collided against his skin, a loud sound crashed into the room bearing no fewer effects than a hazardous exposition that might destroy both of us at once as it echoed over and over again. Every vein in my body trembling with an uncontrollable amount of rage I could barely grasp together.
"How dare you?!" I seethed, my hand itching to land another slap across his face and the next moment I did what I wanted to— I slapped him, using the double amount of strength that I used prior.
This time the impact made his face turn to the side and I saw the visible bulging of his veins, his hands fisted to his sides and his gaze shot at me that could have unnerved any being in this entire world but today, for once, I did not fall into that category.
"How dare you fucking call me a whore?" I pushed at his chest causing him to stumble backwards, "I did not come crawling to you, begging you to purchase me. It was you and your selfish motives that made you do it. You....snatched my innocence, you treated me even the devil would think twice before doing so, you broke me. You fucking broke me Sebastian, and all I wanted to do is to pull you out of the damn pitfall you dug yourself into. And, after all of these....you are calling me a whore. How dare you?!"
"Where is this even coming from? You have no right to question me or my character. You are no one to judge me," I slammed my hands on his chest once again, "If you should judge anyone, that is you— A bloody selfish monster. A fucking coward. A damn rapist."
"Stop your hands before I force them to stop." He warned, his voice growing low and dangerous.
"Oh really? Now you are back to your old threatening ways? You think you can actually make that work on me again? How gullible of you! You should be ashamed of yourself, you should just look at yourself in the mirror for once and see what have you become. I'm sure, even though you are incapable of any emotions, you'd still have to fight the urge to hate yourself because that is how disgusting you are!" I pushed him with all my strength, fury burning in his blue eyes wanting to burn me in the flames, "I regret loving a person like you. You disgust me."
Before I could push him once again, he grabbed my wrists and halted my movements with a swift jerk, "I don't care what you think of me Athena," He spat, void of any feelings like always, "I don't care how fucked up I am because I don't see any reason to change. And no matter how much you try, or have tried with your heart and poor soul, you are not the reason I'd be willing to change myself for; You'd never be. But I love to see you suffer, and I have had my fun so it's the time I'm letting you go, because all you are is just a burden. So stop faffing around and end your struggle to make me feel guilty. I am saying it for your own good because there is not one in a thousand chances that you are going to succeed."
"Since when did you ever start caring about my good? As long as I have experienced all you did is push me for the worst," I yanked my hands away from his stronghold, overpowering the intensity of his rage, "It was my helplessness that got me stuck with you, but then it was love that made me stay but now, there's nothing. I'd not stay with you even if you try to keep me caged. Remember Sebastian, I am not a toy or belonging to own. I am a person whom you broke only to tame your sick fear, I am your mate whom you never gave the place or showed the respect she deserved, I am the only person who stood beside you not because of fear, I am the only one who cared about fixing you rather than fixing herself, and you know the biggest difference between us? I know how to love but you don't, and probably never would!"
I pushed him and this time his back hit the wall with a thud.
I did not get any time to register his reaction or get a hint of what went in his mind, the next I knew was that I was slammed against the same wall whereas Sebastian's back hit not even a second ago.
A small gasp tore through my throat, and my eyes rapidly closed shut because of the sudden impact. It was then that I finally looked at him when he opened his mouth.
"Enough!" His loud indignant voice shrouded the momentary silence of the room, "Enough of this nonsense; You giving me a whole long lecture on what's wrong and right, counting my sins and telling me what I already believe I am, is not going to change anything. You'd still be standing where you are, and I'd still have what I want. So, you better end this before I make you."
"What makes you think that you can make me do what you please? Everything I did, was to fix you. I'd neglected everything you did to hurt me only so that I can fix this bond between us, but fortunately, now I know that you are not worth it. I am not your puppet, Sebastian. Remember it very well Sebastian, I have not given you my dignity, you snatched it...by force. And if there's anyone who deserves to suffer, it's you. I am done putting you first and trying to make everything better."
"Then be done and shut the fuck up!" He banged his fist against the wall, nearly leaving the whole room shaking.
I stared at him, miserably failing to decipher how could someone be so cruel, or I could how could this man so heartless like him ever be my mate?
"You are right, I actually should be done. There's nothing anyone can do in this world to fix you if you yourself do not wish to be helped, so now it's your time to burn in the hell you have created! You no longer have power over me. You mean nothing to me, anymore. From now on, for me, You simply do not exist." I spat.
"I'm afraid that's your misconception. I still have the power over you and will always have," He suddenly grabbed a fistful of my hair from the back of my head and titled it to face me, "And the fact that you are saying that I don't have any power over you, says everything— You know what that you can never wipe me off of your mind, body and soul. Your heart would always crave my presence, you will wither to be
near me and you know what? It'd be an absolute delight to deny to have you anyway near me when you would beg for it."
I could not believe, how much hatred he still had stored for me. How much more he had to say after doing every worst thing he possibly could and taking advantage of every way to break me?
"That's never gonna happen, Sebastian. Because I don't have anything left for you. You have seen my love but it's time that you get a taste of the same hatred you have always shown me, and even in the distant future any urge to be near your disgraceful presence rises, I'd bury it deep, in a way that there'd be no cracks for it to seep out."
"You are so naive," He chuckled, his eyes bearing deep into mine, a strange fire burning deep within the darkness that engulfed his sea-blue orbs like a never-ending haze, an unsolvable enigma, "I don't want your so-called love, Athena. I don't need a beautiful life with the sweet, lovely future you keep talking about. I want the hell, I want to burn and I want the pain; It's beyond the point you can understand. Not that I expected you to understand, because your temporary stay in my life was never going to change anything. What did you even expect? A man like me would fall for you? A few good nights in bed and some pleasing sexual moments aren't what changes a man. It's—"
"Yes, you are right once again," I interrupted before he could finish his sentence, "It's a man who can change himself, but unfortunately you are not man enough to be a man, Sebastian. You are a fucking coward. A frightened child stuck in the body of a twenty-Seven old so-called man. You are a weakling, who tried to hide his weaknesses by putting on this cold facade that is just very see-through once have a close look at it."
For a brief moment, a look flashed through his face that said a lot but at the same time didn't. But amidst this chaos, I could notice how nervous he seemed to get at that very moment, however, him being the person he was, he did an absolutely breathtaking job in hiding it.
"Don't cross your limit!" He slammed me against the wall once again, his body heat penetrating my skin, giving me only a bare hint of the monster he was suppressing beneath it, "If you don't want to collect another memory that'd haunt you forever, I suggest you should shut your mouth."
"What else can you even do other than hurting me? That's your only weapon," I bitterly chuckled, "And running away is the other one of the only two things you can do. And you know what Sebastian, it's fucking ironic that you are saying all of these. It's actually fucking gullible of you to say even a word after you ran away right after the night when you went from hating me, trying your best to break me to worshipping me. It's fucked up!"
His body froze at the mention of that night. He looked pale as a ghost, perhaps because of being struck by a good dose of reality and being at lack of words for the first time.
But I did not stop because the weight on my chest hadn't receded yet. I wanted him to listen, I wanted him to face everything he have always avoided facing.
"You are just trying to run away from pain. You say that you want the pain, but it's not. You try to find relief in it, like a drug addict whose only source is the momentary rush, an ephemeral thrill which you think would lead you to the damn destination that you don't even have an idea of. You are too fucked up to realize your own good and ruin everyone who tried to bring you out of your imaginary world!" I sneered, my heart was aching for him, but the rage was destroying me from within, "You end up ruining every good thing in your life only to embrace the bad of your past. Why can't you just see that you are not right? Why can't you realize that you are digging up your own grave?!"
"Fucking hell!" He cursed, speaking through gritted teeth, his chest rapidly rose and fall as he watched me with fury, "You are just saying the same thing over a hundred times, in hundred different ways. You are as reluctant to accept the truth, as you say I am. Don't stay blinded by mere assumptions, at least choose to see the truth once and for all, before you finally get the hell out of my life." His attempt to pull away and leave like all the other time failed as I grabbed his arms and forced him to stand still, glued to the same spot.
I was not going to let him leave today. I'd had enough of his same old ways. If I let him walk away this time, this chance would be lost forever and who has ever managed to undo the things they'd done whether on their will or by force?
"Don't fucking run away! If you don't have the courage to face me, then accept it and then only I'd let you crawl back into your den. Turning your back on every situation is not what a man who claims to be heartless and void of any emotions should do, should he?"
He fell silent. Dead-silent.
Not a word left his mouth; Not a flicker through his eyes. He was unreadable but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't solve him. But then, he stepped even closer, pressing me completely against the wall and locking me close to the heat of his body.
Within a matter of a second, I found myself trapped in more than one way.
"What if I say that I want the grave, Athena? What if I say that I want to be buried deep and that's my ultimate destination?"