Athena
My heart felt heavy; Just like the burden of the memories— The moments I'd spent with Sebastian. But what was left to do anyways? I could not just leave my heart behind, it was incredibly stupid and impossible. It was fucking disappointing to stay stuck with the truth that this heart was what keeps us alive— The same bloody organ that makes us take on the dumbest decisions ever and still stay dazed, deprived of the sight of what is right for us to do.
The thing I could do was to kill the emotions of it, the sentiments that come for that one specific person only and who was he? I guess that was not news.
All these things known and reality imprinted on every cell of my brain, why did it still feel like I was leaving my heart behind? And why the fuck did it saddened me when this freedom was what I had been looking for from the day I was born? Why couldn't I celebrate this blessing the one captived under his curse has bestowed upon me?
Fuck it! Just fuck the concept of love— Putting the significant other first, and putting myself last even though that person is screwing me at any chance he gets— That is not love, that is stupidity and apparently I realized it too late and still now, it was hard to digest.
It's not love if I can't love myself first.
With all the courage I have gathered and my determination to for an end to this incomplete story, I stepped down the stairs; Taking one step at a time, deep down hoping that I'd not have to look at his face before leaving because all that'd do was make things hard for me than it already appeared to be.
While in my mind I was carrying a huge burden, taking it with me even though I didn't want to, my hands on the other hand were free. Light and not getting crushed because of any weight. There was nothing I was taking with me except for awful memories and some good ones that are nothing but guilty pleasures.
I wished I could wipe off a part of my memory and start fresh. But that was not possible; Anyways, at least I was getting the chance to have a new start, it might not be so easy at first but hopefully, I would be able to adjust very soon.
As I reached downstairs, when my eyes caught no sight of Sebastian I found myself releasing a sigh of relief, however, it was short lasting because it turned out that my eyes have failed to notice the board figure standing at the entrance of the mansion, leaning against the huge dark wooden door, carved with many antique polished patterns.
He stood there utterly calm, leaning against the side of the door, unreadable and distant as always; Yet his head held low and seeming oblivion about anything happening around himself gave some things away but I wasn't buying them— Not today.
I walked down the last few stairs left and proceeded for the door even if there was my biggest obstacle standing right there perhaps waiting to close the path and put me in the cage again, or....set me free and give me a lifetime of joy and pain at the same time.
Sebastian wasn't one of those to do one thing at a time— He'd try to kill get two at a stone and, in this case, setting me free would do the job very well for him so I had one less thing to bother and....one more struggle to cope up.
I advanced towards the door, my breathing remained normal, and so did my heartbeats after my hardship to keep them steady, however, my gaze was wavering. For some inexplicable reasons, and useless considerations, my mind could not stay still— It wanted my eyes to see something, my ears to hear what I hadn't despite the aching desire...my soul to get closer to the monster again even though it was the last thing I'd do— No matter what, I was not going to let myself get down those levels ever again.
My legs were working perfectly fine until his blue eyes shifted at me and his head moved to look my way. A flicker passed his orbs and I chose to avoid reading that— Solely to avoid hindrances in the path of my decision.
Suddenly it started to feel like my body was made of ice and the storm waiting at the doorway would crush right into me, instantaneous and fierce. Burn me with its dangerous heat and eliminate my existence.
And this was the challenge...I had to go through it knowing the results....knowing the damage it'd cause me.
I inhaled a small breath, holding it there for stability as I walked even closer. Slowly closing the distance between, but being careful enough to not be close to him and the board double door made it easy for me to keep an appropriate distance and my confidence to not get overshadowed by his presence.
I did not look at him, I stood facing outside, paying more attention to the fountain than I paid to the person beside me even though I could feel his gaze fixated on me and not budging for a moment.
"When can I leave?" I decided to break the silence, partly giving up on the battle of trying to remain unaffected.
He remained silent, for a solid minute. I did not know what was he trying to figure out but deep down, I wished I knew what was he actually thinking— Everything could have been so easier if our eyes spoke the same language— So much could have been avoided if we cared for each other's situation, or at the very least if Sebastian had cared to pay the smallest amount of care compared to what I have given to him.
"The vehicle will be here within any second. I have arranged everything and a place for you to stay, fortunately, you will not have to face any difficulties there and—"
"I will not be staying at a place of your choosing and nor do I expect anything from your side— Not any favours. Not any facilities are given by your solely for pity or to prove another of your useless points. Not any help. Not any payback for everything you did since you have already told me that you were putting me through adequate use, just like a good, solely for the two million you paid the auctioneer," I spoke, calm and collected yet my words trembled at some point, "So, please. Keep your plans and arrangements to yourself for god's sake. Just escorting me out of your territory would be more than you can ever do for me."
"My enemies are everywhere, Athena," He opened his mouth, "And you being known everywhere as my mate after the incident at that unfortunate party does not make you fall under the safe category. The chances of your survival will be very slim if any of my so-called well-wishers sees you, unguarded and alone so you have to be under protection in order to stay alive. At the very least for the first few weeks, you'd be needing a safe place to stay until you decide what you want to do with yourself— It's completely up to you."
"I have already decided what I want to do, Sebastian. I want to stay away from you— Far away. So far that I wouldn't have to cross even your fucking shadow, ever again." I finally looked at him, searching for the same coldness I'd seen read on his face but today it was empty— Just empty.
On the other hand, he also tried to read my eyes, but it was evident that he saw nothing.
"You wouldn't have to see my face ever again. I promise, we would never meet," He let out, "And trust me I am not lying—We would never be face to face ever again."
"That's the only thing I can not do— Trust you," I walked closer to him, not having control over my movements, "You could think that you don't lie but that's the thing you have done all the way along. You lie to yourself, you lie to me and then you surpass every extent to prove them true and unfortunately you succeed at some point and even if you don't you just fill the others with so much hatred and pain that their love turns to nothing."
He did not say anything. For once he let me speak and listened without any regular urge of his to shut me down.
I did not even wish to speak to him or look at his face but I was oblivious to why was I doing it, why the hell I was even having a fucking conversation with a man like him who has made his clear with every of his deed that he was a sadistic monster.
"Look where you have made us stand today; Just see what you have done and remember all those chances that I gave you yet you blew them away. And it's not even like I expect you to regret it, I just want you to know that....I loved you, Sebastian," I moved closer, the distance between us no longer remained as much as before and I could hear the loud beating of his heart that did not match the impassive look on his face, "But you destroyed everything with your own hands. You ruined me, you ruined this bond and I pray that regret never even crosses your mind, or touches you because I won't be coming back. Not in this life, not in any other life we might get. And I'm sure you won't be able to handle it if you realise what you have lost and what you have done."
I wasn't aware of what had gone in his mind and what his intention was but the next moment all I registered was his hand wrapping around my waist and pulling me close to him with one swift jerk.
My chest came crashing against his and a soft gasp slipped past my lips. His other hand went to cup my cheek as he looked deep into my eyes.
For a brief second, I felt myself losing myself in him all over again but I hit the brakes at the right time and out a stop my emotions.
I wasn't gonna fall weak. The man who had walked all over me and laughed at my face could never deserve my love.
"I know...." It was all that came out of his mouth as he looked at me, leaving me wondering what was he thinking or what he truly meant.
He gently caressed my face, forcing my eyes to close shut. His hold on me was tight, so tight that at some point it seemed as if he did not want to let me go.
And then...I felt his lips touch my forehead for the first time ever. Yes, it was the first time he did it while remaining conscious. No effects of liquor were pouring over him when his lips pressed against my forehead, his hands caressed my face and when his gaze bored into mine without any sign of fear shading them.
But Alas, all of these meant nothing— Just nothing.
A few moments of silence passed by, and I stared at him, clueless about what I should be doing and what did he really want to say by doing all of this. But fortunately, he solved my dilemma though I hadn't asked him for it.
"Don't ever come back, Athena," He said. A sigh that left his mouth at end of the sentence left me drowning in bewilderment, "If you come back or dare to look back....I'll kill you with my own hands."
I did not have anything left to say. My mind was left blank, but the rate of heartbeats increased to the point where it matched Sebastian's.
Before I could get anything out of my mouth, the sound of the car screeching to a halt just right of us broke in and Sebastian slowly let go of me. I involuntarily took a few steps back, my emotions were rushed, and my mind was in a frenzy but I knew one for sure— I could not stay.
I had to leave before anything he says changes my mind.
I glanced at the car, finding his beta sitting beside the driver, looking our way as if to pass us the message that it was time....to leave. Or I could say...let go.
"Go. You are free." His voice hit my eardrums and apparently, that was all my body was waiting to hear— It was a mystery how figured out that would get my legs into motion.
I looked at him one last time. Noticing every detail of his face and especially his cruel eyes of his. Saving it in my remembrance like a guilty pleasure that I might open through the gates of recollections over and over again...to see and to remember the few beautiful moments that have died in the waves of misery.
"Goodbye, Sebastian," Hiding my pain and unshed tears beneath my smile, I walked away, heading to the car and getting inside it soon as I could. I did not dare to look back— Not because of what my mate has said but the fact that if I looked at him once again....I'd run back to him and that'd make me stoop low in my own eyes, and hate myself forever.
The car started, heading out of the mansion and taking off on the spacious road ahead— Leaving behind the cage, my shattered dreams, Sebastian Valdez and his curse.....and everything he put me through.
I, Athena was no longer his captive nor a woman with the hopes of fixing her mate. I was going to live but for myself.