Athena
I waited hours for his arrival, deep down hoping that he comes sooner and I could end this faster. The more time passed, the more I began questioning myself whereas the truth was that I did not want any change in my perspectives and belief that took so long to build. I'd be a lie if I said that I wasn't scared at all, there was still fear living vividly within me, even though it might be far less compared to my dread of other times.
I did not have any idea what Sebastian's reaction going to be after knowing about my pregnancy or if I was going to be able to gather the courage to tell him the truth at all, but one thing I knew for sure was— I wasn't going to let him cage me again. He no longer held the same power over me; The times he had had that authority was gone because now I had a reason to live.
But didn't Sebastian have the right to be close to his child? Was I wrong for thinking about taking our baby away from him?
I was...or maybe I wasn't— It was the least of my worries. Doing something right has never made anything right, then why bother doing something wrong this time? Who knows, it could turn out to be how it was meant to be.
I got down from the bed; The cold winds were making their way through the open windows, the moon has decided to show up in the dark sky in all glory, and a strange hazy silence blew in the atmosphere— There was nothing alarming about this beautiful night yet all I could feel was dismay and a weird inexplicable emptiness that demolished me from within. It took a while to understand the difference, but I concluded it soon that the way I felt was not deceiving, it was the night that was indeed here to deceive me into believing that there was actually some beauty that remained at the depth of it whereas everything else was at a devastating standstill.
Grabbing a glass of water from the nightstand, I gulped it down in a few chugs. I hadn't even realized how thirsty I was until now when the soothing feeling finally hit my tastebuds.
God knew when Sebastian was going to arrive or if he'd come to this room at all. It was beyond my capabilities to comprehend him in any way, and now that he has been eventually getting out of my reach, putting this intolerable distance between us, running far away from the truth I wanted him to see, I knew, I have already lost this battle to understand the unfathomable.
The man I loved has already succeeded in failing us in every way possible.
A trembling sigh left my mouth as I put the glass down, putting a huge amount of faith in my shaky hand as I did. The glass didn't break, and so didn't the silence of the room in the manner I wanted it to— Perhaps with a click of the door and the sound of some very familiar, awaiting footsteps my ears were eager to hear.
I slowly crawled back to the bed, finding my own little comfort under the warmth of the blanket. Though it was not the kind of warmth that could melt the ice within me, it did help me forget. Even though it was for a few moments, but still, amidst this chaos, even a mere second of peace mattered to me.
After a lot of struggle, just when I made myself believe that my eyes wouldn't see the sight of his arrival tonight and attempted to lay down after I turned off the bedside lamp, only for the sake of my troubled mind and soul, hoping to bless them with a few hours of sleep.....
The door opened.
Gasping softly, I sat up straight and my hand flew to turn on the light before my gaze shot to look at the doorway Sounded the familiar footsteps and entered my mate.
My eyes looked at him, and an unexpected relief flooded in my veins, my loudly beating hard could only make it more evident than it already was.
Just one glance, it took me only glance at him to feel the storm rise again, around the walls I'd built around me. It was threatening, trying to break everything down to nothing but mere dust.
He, on the other hand, looked unaffected. The coldness that was undeniably my biggest fear, was there, swarming to the full and standing out of everything, piercing through my soul and snatching the last drop of the shattered hopes away from me. His expression was impassive, restricting me from deriving any meaning out of it. But why was I trying to see changes anyways when I already knew the path I'd to take?
He closed the door shut. Taking a step into the room, moving towards the cupboard, and pulling out the gun from his pocket before settling it on the top, following by putting the rest of his belongings into the drawer. Calm and collected, yet giving away an omen of an upcoming disaster.
What was the restraint? My silence?
I watched him. Inspecting his moves, hoping for a glance my way but he was so casual as if everything was just like the first day he had brought me from the auction and put me in his own hell, so that he could break me, furthermore.
His cold demeanour bugged me, and made me enraged; My messed up thoughts and emotions, only added to the mix.
"So...you are finally back," I spoke, my voice low and suppressed, giving away my anger though it was not what I'd intended to.
No response. Not even a stare at my way. He minded his own business, walking into the closet and changing his clothes, before getting out and attempting to head into the bathroom but I spoke up the very moment he could get out of my view.
"When are you ever going to stop acting like a bloody coward?"
He stopped and I saw the visible stiffening of his muscles, the reflex giving me only a mere sense of what my words did to him from inside. A solid minute passed in silence, before he finally turned around. His cold blue eyes gave me chills, they were just utterly cold and there was something really dodgy about the way there was no anger flaring in them, nor were anything at all.
Empty— He seemed empty, today.
Without uttering a word, he stalked towards me. I fisted my hands under the blanket, refusing to show him any sign of terror that might bring the satisfaction he always looks for.
He didn't try to break the eye contact, instead, he was the one who did not allow me to do so. There was no restlessness, unsteady breathing or indications of hesitation that could have led me to some sort of answer, unknowingly he was actually making me question my own eyes and at some point, my courage that trembled just by his presence.
He sat on the edge of the bed, at my side; Completely facing me.
"Tell me, Athena, what makes you think that I'm a coward?" He asked, calm and collected.
"Everything...." I spoke, "What would you call someone who runs away from the truth when you know the reason behind his deeds is some sort of sick fear that has made his life a fucking hell and even after knowing it he still can't step out of it because he simply decides to stay in the delusion and does not have the courage to make a move? Isn't this enough to judge if someone's a coward or not?"
He stared at me, coldly. Not speaking a word for a few longest minutes made the air in the room feel ten times heavier with a sudden tension.
"I have told you over a hundred times, I don't know what part do you not understand," He began, looking dead into my eyes, "What makes you think that I'd change anything for a woman like you? Two Million— It is what took me to purchase you. I can buy a hundred women like you, and each of them would probably be better than you. If I had to change, I'd do it for someone worth it, whom I have to earn not buy. You were fucking easy, and after using you so countless times, there's nothing about you that thrives me. I have got bored of you."
I didn't want anything his words to affect me, but damn! It fucking hurt. Those things he said, stabbed me in the heart like sharp knives. For a second, I only stared at him blankly, my own conscious was questioning me— How could I have ever fallen in love with a brute like him?
Knowing the full effect he had on me with his cruel statements, he decided to break me even more.
"I don't even feel like touching you anymore, Athena. There's nothing interesting about you that'd have perhaps kept a man's desires locked in one place. To be really honest, the sight of you makes all my desires stay at bay. You are just a waste of time and effort. Amidst all the beautiful young women, you are just an outcast and I have made good use of the good on you for a very good time," He let out a low chuckle, leaving no scope in humiliating me, "It is true that I wanted to make you suffer, see you die little by little, but now that my interest is gone, I don't care about it anymore. At least then, I had hatred for you but now, I have nothing. You are nothing to me. And I must say, it was a wrong investment to buy you since I could have gotten a better deal with less amount. You were not worth it and you still are of no worth— It's the truth that you are running away from. The delusion that a woman like you can make me change."
Don't cry, Athena— He doesn't deserve your tears.
I sucked in a breath, my breathing shaky and a burning feeling spread through my throat as I tried not to let out any sound because I might eventually end up breaking down all over again and this would only give him pleasure.
At that moment it didn't matter to me why he was saying all these things, what his so-called intention was and what did he expect in return. All I knew was that, whether under his curse or not, everything he'd said was said under his full control. He was aware of every fucking word he said and he knew very well, that it destroyed from the inside in such a way, none could ever comprehend from looking at the scars and cracks on the outside.
"What? Do you not have any of your snarky responses?" He quirked an eyebrow, "Cat caught your tongue? I was quite certain about your reaction anyways because all you do is stay fucking mum when you don't have a shit to say. So, till you gather your thoughts together, let me have my peace of mind whilst having you keep your mouth shut. We can continue this conversation after I freshen up, I am confident you can come up with many more ridiculous ideas and questions. And you know what? I am tired of these regular boring conflicts, so I'll just answer all of your questions and end it once and for all."
If it was possible to melt into shadows, I would have. But it was not and now I had to face everything my mate said, knowing that I could never have him in the way I once dreamt of. He has successfully turned all my dreams into dreadful nightmares that I wanted to escape.
Glancing at me up and down, running some kind of a calculation in his head, Sebastian stood up and headed towards the bathroom. Careless and satisfied under his skin.
But the boiling rage inside me that built itself through the course of pain and misery he put me through, awakened. I was not going to let him walk all over me and get away with it.
"If you actually don't give a fuck, why don't you just let me go and end this instead of keeping me caged? Why prove what a sick monster you are again and again when you know that you, in reality, are even worse than that?!"
This time I saw his body freeze and it was more evident than last time. His tensed muscles didn't miss my eyes.
Indeed I wanted to see the ultimate truth and break the last drop of my hopes to set myself free but I was not going to let Sebastian walk past it, and do everything underneath one of the many facades he puts according to his needs.
He looked at me, and for some inexplicable reason, the blue in his eyes did not look so void anymore. However, they still didn't show any sign of empathy. He was the same heartless and cruel being from within.
"Fine..." He let out, crossing his arm over his chest and leaning against the wall, pausing for a second as he examined my face searching for something I was not aware of, "I'll set you free if that is what it'll take you to believe my words. You will be given your freedom. Besides, it is how it is done, once we get fair use of women like you, we get a new whore. Your case is no different."
My eyes widened, and my body went into a state of shock that took me a few seconds to recover from.
He called me....a whore. He just called his own mate, the one he himself raped, tortured, abused, shattered piece by piece with his own hands....A whore.
This was it. I lost it.
I yanked away the duvet off of my body and strode towards him. Before he could form any reaction or spit more dirt as he has been spitting for the past few moments, I raised my hand, gathering every bit of the strength I had in my cells and slapped him.