Sebastian
To be very specific, the best part of this event was the children; Their innocent smiles could melt anyone's heart and it pained to know that there are actually people out there who do not want these wonderful souls to be a part of their family; That's how most of these angels ended up here in the orphanages. I wished all of these kids could have their own families where they'd be appreciated and loved.
Because no one deserved hate. None. Just None.
Amidst all these orphans, there were some kids who had fallen victim to domestic violence. And who could relate more to that other than me? If I could, I would have killed all those fathers who ruined their child's life with the venom they had within their own. I would have torn them into pieces with bare hands and fed their flesh to the wild— That's what they deserve.
It didn't matter if I had the curse or not-- I could still kill without dealing with the shaking of my hands and there'd be not even a drop of lessening in my vigour for the task. I was certainly not under the captivity of the monster, but I was capable of bringing it to the surface if I wanted to.
These kids did not deserve to be put through hell; They deserved to live with beautiful memories, not these scars that bleed every second till the end of time.
"Do you need anything, sir?" Noticing my hand balling up to a fist, one of the volunteers asked me in concern.
"No, I'm okay," I flashed her a smile, trying not to make the rage boiling within me show on my face, "Thank you."
"Oh, sir if you need anything, please just let me know." With that, she walked away back to her work, showing the guests their reserved seats and other kinds of stuffs that I did not bother to pay any attention to.
The event was going smoothly, I was keeping myself engaged to stay away from the dark corner of my mind; however, I couldn't help but notice the constant feeling that urged me to believe— She was near.
It was absolutely ridiculous for me to feel this way. There was no possibility that she was going to be here, and it was the last thought that was supposed to strike my mind, nonetheless, it did. Strong and decisive.
I was having a hard time resisting the impulse to let go of my restraints and track her. The particles of my body desired to do nothing else than track her, and discover if there was her scent in any particle of the air around me.
Deep down, I somehow was aware of the bitter truth— She was not here. At least that's what I believed judging by the given circumstances and impossible coincidence my mind was trying to make me acknowledge.
It was wholly absurd to even count on these intuitions.
Then, why the hell was I getting so fucking anxious? Why was my heart beating at a concerning speed? It was banging against my chest as if it'd jump out just like my wolf who was getting erratic not any less than me.
Something strange fogged my brain; It was tangled in a cluster of thoughts. I was anything but able to think straight and logically.
Was she here?
I tensed and my eyes began searching everywhere for her. Any sign of her face among the crowd. I was feeling entirely hopeless— I had the ability to track her, if I decided to pay the tiniest amount of effort to go after her scent and let my wolf acknowledge her presence, I would just know then and there if she was here or not.
But if I allowed myself to do that— It'd be fucking wrong. Insanity on my side.
And I would get another reason to keep despising myself.
I'd promised to not interfere in her life. That day, I'd given her the assurance that I was never going to invade her world and still I hadn't.
I had coped with the sleepless nights. Endured the desperate ache to be near her. Suffered in her absence without a word leaving my mouth.
Then why? Why, today, in this particular event that has no connection to my mate, it seemed like all of my restraints were breaking once by once? Strangely, I was on the verge of losing my calm.
More agonising moments passed.
I fought hard to not give anything away. I kept a smile on my face and tried my best to keep my breathing normal and unaffected though I merely succeeded by any means.
Unlike my situation right now, the event went on smoothly. I barely registered any of the words the host said, I was in a totally different zone that allowed me the least amount of strength to stay calm and collected.
However, I had not thought my dilemma was soon to be double the amount it was now.
"Now I would invite our Revered Guest Mr Sebastian Valdez, Our honourable funder, who has made a donation of three hundred thousand dollars to our charity which greatly helped us to insure a safe place for the children of Cambodia affected in the recent flood, to the stage and oblige us with a few Words of Encouragement!" The host announced, unknowingly ruining my last hope to keep my shit together.
The attention was now all on me. There was no one of two choices for me to take. I only had one.
I had to walk there on the stage, fighting every cell of my body that was burning in the immense fire. The slightest and hardly reliable sense of my mate being somewhere around this place had set on my soul. My anxiousness, the strong desire to see her again and pull her in my arms, made my legs weak— But this weakness was not physical, it was because of my wolf that lost his restraints. He wanted to tear me apart and emerge, to wage a war only for her.
"Sir, you are being called on the stage." The gentleman sitting beside me decided to inform me, mistaking my stillness as oblivion whereas, in reality, I knew what was going on— I just didn't know how was I going to able to keep myself together and not end up creating a scene with my deranged wolf, trying his best to overpower me and take over at any cost even if it meant turning ourselves into ashes— I could care less about getting fucking destroyed right now— I, myself wanted nothing more than the clarity if she was truly here.
But I knew what I should be doing and what I shouldn't.
Even if she was here, I did not have any right to speak to her, stand in front of her and meet her eyes. I did not even deserve to see the sight of her beautiful face or even be near her shadow.
So, I had to do what should be done.
Suppressing the claws of my wolf underneath my skin, I forced a smile on my face, "Oh, I wasn't really paying attention. Thank you, Sir."
With that I stood up and headed to the stage, putting everything I had in the steps I took putting my life at stake, knowing I had less than a vestige amount of power over my actions drawn a parallel between my wolf who had turned wholly opposite of me just from the thought of our Athena. He was dying for her and deep down, the fact I could not just let myself see her was killing me within, but the difference between me and him was he did not care if it was right or not, and I...I'd learned to do the right in a hard way; By hook or by crook, I was not going to let myself sway away whilst being aware I shouldn't.
I could destroy myself for her. I could ruin this world for her.
But...I couldn't allow myself to ruin her once again. I was not going to let my selfish desires become an obstacle in the path of her new journey where my presence was a curse, and I was a disaster threatening to crush her world once again.
A mic was handed to me soon as I stepped on the stage.
My throat felt dry as a dessert. My mind was empty; Totally empty except for the thought of my mate.
Trapped in this situation, I could hardly see any chance of me being able to speak without letting the beast set loose. The growl was on the tip of my tongue, and I feared the moment I'd open my mouth— It'd be nothing but a growl and then it all will be a bloody disaster.
Trusting myself with the terrible situations and drudgeries on my part, I inhaled a sharp breath and raised the mic.
"I'd like to start by stating the fact, my effort could never match or even get closer to the amount of hard work and dedication of these wonderful people working here for the well-being of these children, a secure future for them. Protecting the lives and rights of the people who have gone through more than any of us have," I spoke, my hold around the mic tightened in a concerning manner— I hoped it'd just not break into pieces, "I have done nothing special to be regarded— If anyone over here deserves to be rewarded with such respect, are the ones who are working day and night for this association. I have done the least on my part and I'd be absolutely grateful and consider it a fortune of myself if I can help some of these beautiful souls and make the world a better place for them. Thank you."
A huge round of applause shrouded the room; The sound merely overpowered the loud beating of my heart.
I passed the mic to the host and walked down the stage. But then...on my way down, my eyes locked with the very familiar hazel eyes; Eyes that I hadn't seen in the last half year. My entire world came to a stop.
My loudly beating heart was no longer beating anymore; From the second I saw her, it was just rare thumps of it that I could feel against my chest.
It was her....she was here. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears— She looked as broken as the day she left me. Or perhaps, my presence has deepened all of her wounds.
"A huge thanks to you sir Mr Sebastian for his kind words," The host spoke up, "With that, we'd like to proceed further by calling today's sponsors on the stage for their humble contribution to this event."
The woman standing beside her, nudged her on her arm, saying something that none of us registered. Neither I could look away, nor she'd tore her gaze away even though I could see the pain it was putting her through. Every second hurt her, the sight of me pained her.....the want to run far away shone through her eyes.
I did not know what to say, I did not know what to do, my wolf that'd been fighting to get out from underneath my skin went all silent the moment he took in her eyes; I was stuck. And it felt like yesterday— The tragedies that tore our lives apart, the moments we had and the things we lost.
Athena was here, right in front of my eyes yet...she was miles away from me. Out of my reach—A distance that'd take an eternity to cross whereas I only had a few seconds in my hand.