Athena
When I woke up, I found myself tucked under the duvet.
Yawning, I stretched my hands over my head and sat up. A sudden invisible force attacked my head from all sides, forcing my body to fall on the surface of the bed, however, that did not happen as the memories from last night came flooding inside of my mind like a tsunami but somehow inexact and glitched.
I'd gone to the party with Sebastian...
But what happened after that?
The glitched memories kept flashing in front of my eyes until my mind acknowledged the entire event.
I almost got raped yesterday...
Chills of terror ran down my body, I felt sick to my stomach even at the thought of that guy being near me.
Calm down. You are safe, he saved you.
I blew out a sigh of relief when the thought of Sebastian murdering Chris crossed my reminiscence.
For the first time, the thought of somehow being dead was providing me comfort; Made me feel safe and secure.
My eyes glanced around the room in search of any sign of Sebastian but no, there were none. The curtains closed halfway, and the windows were shut, however, very light rays of the sun filtered through the glass and percolated the room through the gap.
Where was he?
I tried to get down from the bed, but the ache in my abdomen stirred me awake. I never felt this sort of pain unless.....
Did I sleep with Sebastian after we came here? Perhaps.
It couldn't be shocking for a reasonably first-time drunk woman, to make a move like that. Besides, I had been drugged as well, it was the drug that did the job of making me miserable more than the alcohol itself.
But I could feel his light caresses lingering over my skin; The feel of his lips against mine. His scent was all over my body.
Suddenly none of the memories were glitched anymore. I became aware of everything that happened, perhaps not completely but I could fairly remember how gentle and careful he has been with me.
He was not harsh or reckless. He was gentle, really very gentle compared to how he had always been with me.
Before I could process my thoughts further, a strange feeling twisted in my gut. My hand flew to my mouth and the other one went to rest on my stomach.
Oh no!
I rushed to the bathroom and as expected, my consumed liquor at night found a path out as I threw up. My throat burned as if it was set on fire. It was even surprising, how much alcohol I'd consumed because I couldn't stop throwing up, as if a river has found its way out of my throat.
My struggle to hold my hair back ended, as a very familiar hand slipped around and did the job for me.
As he held me providing me comfort, I realized that I didn't even know I was internally craving his presence that much.
Once I was done violently throwing up, I looked up at him. His height towered over me effortlessly.
I didn't fail to notice that he did not look pleased with all. He looked rather pissed, however, this was not all his face said. I tried to figure out his expression, it said something but at the same time, it prevented me from seeing anything at all.
"Good morning...." I mustered, and my voice came out hoarse.
"It does not seem like a good morning from your side," He spoke, curt and harsh, "Get up. You are a mess."
He grabbed my bicep and helped me stand up on my feet before he dragged me to the sink, grabbing the back of my neck and pushing me to lean closer to the sink as he splashed water on my face.
"Quiet surprisingly that the effects showed up this late on you," He muttered, "You are a hassle to handle."
The cold water only touched my face but it soothed all the numb muscles in my sore body. I could not fathom what magic really resided in that mere element that already made me feel a thousand per cent better than how I had been feeling since I woke up.
He made me wash my mouth and pat the towel off my face, wiping the water off of it before he dragged me outside of the bathroom and pushed me onto the bed.
I sat straight, looking up at him as he stood in front of me resembling a huge wall with his broad figure.
I blinked in confusion as he silently observed me.
"Do you remember what I told you before going to that party?" He asked, cold and serious.
I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing where this conversation was going.
I chose to stay silent at first, thinking that he'd let this slide but after a few moments when he made no movement to leave it, I reluctantly gave up.
"Yes." I nodded, lowering my gaze to my lap and fiddling with my fingers.
"Mind repeating what I'd said?"
Okay, Athena. You can't avoid this conversation anymore. You have to face it.
"There are going to be a lot of people." I blurted out.
"And?"
"Not everyone is your enemy but they are not your friend or well-wishers as well."
"And?" He pressed.
I knew what he wanted to hear. I knew what was the point he'd make once he gets that one specific sentence from my mouth, but for some very obvious reasons, I could not gather the courage to get to the point straight. Most importantly, I wanted to do nothing other than avoid anything that happened in the first half of that night, and my intention was clear, I'd do that for the rest of my life.
"I'm responsible for my own safety." I finally let out, a sigh drawled at the end.
What happened was a nightmare, but the one standing in front of me was a bigger nightmare already. And his rage? None in this world would ever want to face it, however, right now I did not have any other option.
God, please save me.
"And what could have been a wise choice for you?"
"Staying around...." I sucked in a breath, trying to help my trembling voice, "And not getting out of your sight."
"What you did do in return for my advice?" He asked. I identified his growing rage very easily.
It was now suspense, for how long he was going to stay calm because when it came to controlling his anger, Sebastian has always been the greatest failure.
"I-I...." I tried but my words died at the tip of my tongue, remaining untold.
"Finish the sentence, Athena," It was his straight command that cut through the silence.
"I....went upstairs." I stuttered.
"As far as I can remember, you were not alone, were you?"
It was hard to breathe, the air felt heavy, like needles piercing through my nostrils...but I had to.
"No."
"Who was with you?" This time he sounded even more enraged than prior.
"That guy named Chris." I felt nauseous at the thought of his hands on me again. He disgusted me to the point I couldn't even describe.
"Yeah, but the effects of drugs were your greatest companion," Sebastian chuckled with no humour and suddenly grabbed my face as he tilted it to look into my eyes, drawing my soul towards him instantly.
"What were you trying to do, Athena? Sleeping with a fucking stranger who could have possibly killed you without thinking twice?!" He growled, his grip turning harsher.
"It was not me who was planning to sleep with anyone, Sebastian. It was you, who was wrapped around the fingers of that new lady you met at that party," This left my mouth before I even knew it, my anger rose, the claws of my wolf I'd never felt, scarped against my skin, fighting to tear through the surface but losing the battle at the end, "I was only trying to forget my pain and that guy tried to take the advantage of the vulnerable position you are responsible for putting me into! It was your fault, not mine."
"Oh really? You are the one who raised her expectations, tell me did I ever give you any hope?! You are getting hurt by your own false hopes, so try to put the blame on me. I told you I don't care about you and your feelings, but..." He sneered, "I warned you, I fucking warned you about the consequences of not being careful enough about your surroundings. And you are the one you put herself in the situations where your safety falls under questions?!"
"If you don't care for me then why did you come to save me? Why didn't you let me get raped? It's not like this was the first time I was getting raped, was it?" I spat and stood up, feeling a courage I'd never felt before, " Besides you said it was my choice what I'd do. Then what's bothering you right now? You were busy with another woman anyways, then why are you asking these questions when you don't care about anything anyways?"
His jaw clenched and hands fisted to his sides, the blue veins on his neck stood up and his eyes burned with anger.
"Watch your mouth," He snarled, "I'd not tolerate disrespect."
I knew it was not my tone that was bothering him. It was my question. Because they certainly put them in a position where he, himself did not dare to gather the answers, let alone utter them.
"You can't expect to get respect by inflicting fear on others," I walked closer to him, but he did not move and furiously stared at me, "You say you don't give a flying fuck about me, then it shouldn't really bother you if I get raped or murdered. But why did you save me when you had the chance to make your night full of fun with that new woman who you thought deserved more attention than your own mate? If you really don't care for me, my presence or absence doesn't matter to you, then why do you save me every time?! Why do you kill everyone who tries to come closer to me?"
"Athena...shut your mouth. Okay?!" He grabbed my jaw under his painful hold, "Trust you don't want me to discipline you. So, just shut up."
"Isn't that surprising on your behalf that you kill everyone who tries to hurt me? How isn't that weird that you claim that you need none beside you to survive but whenever you lose your calm, or can't control yourself, why is it me you always seek closeness from? Tell me." I grabbed his hand and moved it away.
He did not answer.
His muscles stiffened, and the stress and discomfort became apparent as his unsteady gaze looked at me.
"Cat caught your tongue?" I broke the silence, "If you can't face the truth, then don't start it. Don't try to hide underneath your lies when we both are aware of the truth."
"You mean nothing to me! That's the fucking truth!" He spat, his breathing became ten times heavier and his chest rapidly rose and fell.
He was barely holding it together.
And I wanted him to lose it because I was fucking tired of this shit.
"If that's the truth, then why can't you just prove it? You hurt me because you want to get rid of your own feelings, Sebastian," I nearly shouted, "No matter what you do, you can't change the truth, nor can you face it. You are running away from it thinking that it's your escape but what you don't know is that, denying everything won't change a thing."
"And what you don't know is that I don't want to change a thing," Out of the blue he grabbed my throat and pushed me onto the bed.
My body landed with a thud and a soft gasp tore from my mouth; He leaned closer to my face, more enraged than he has ever been before.
"I don't want to change anything, Athena. It's your dream to have a so-called happily ever after, not mine. I prefer this nightmare, and I'll keep hurting you for my satisfaction. Tell me do you have anything to do? Can you do anything?" His breathing fanned my face as he spoke, "Of course, you can't. Accept the fact that you lost this battle the moment, I purchased you. You are my mate and that's your misfortune, Athena. Trust me, your biggest mistake is that you are my mate. And you'd never receive any affection or care from my side, don't raise your hopes. They'll only hurt you in the end."
"If you are really so determined on showing me any affection then why is it that you have been so patient and gentle with me last night? Why did you pull me close when I was shivering? Why did you make love to me without giving me any cuts and bruises like every time?" I asked, keeping up with his gaze, "If you really don't have any feelings for me, then it'd be very easy for you to answer my question. So what's stopping you? Answer me and end this here."
For a brief second, his entire body paused. Even his breathing.
His eyes stilled as a strange hesitation passed through them, and his hand around my throat loosened.
"What happened? Why are you so silent?" I asked, triggering him even more.
I knew that he was aware of the truth but I wanted him to face it instead of running away. I wanted him to face his demons, the fears that were trapping him underneath their weight.
The prior I'd seen in his eyes, increased even more. He dryly licked his bottom lips and let go of me as he hurriedly stood up, "I have wasted enough time on you, this is enough. If you open your mouth one more time then—"
"What will you do?" I sat up, for some reason this time it was the pain that spoke through my words, "Kill me? Hurt me even more? You can't damage me more than you already did. And trust me, you can't keep the truth hidden for long as well, for how long you'll keep running away? You'll eventually get tired, Sebastian. And I hope that it doesn't get too late when you finally realize what a big mistake you have made by choosing the dark instead of the light."
"This darkness you seem to despise so much, is what has kept me alive otherwise the light you keep praising would have killed me long ago," His voice was not harsh, neither was it cold yet it was still emotionless in a way that gave away a few of the things he'd gone through, "I have told you before, and I'm telling you again— Nothing can change me. This is my way of living, either you adjust to it or I force you to adjust. Your fate, and my way of living, no changes are going to be made to either of them."
"You can't decide everything by yourself," I spoke, tears fighting to slip out of my eyes, "It's my life. I get to decide what I want in my life. You can't take everything away from me like this."
"Yes I can, and will do anything I want," He shouted, harshly, "And if you have any problem with my decisions, then get the two million I have spent to purchase you, throw it on my face and take your life back from my cage."
I flinched because of his tone, equally hurt and disheartened by his cold statement.
"But till you get that amount, I want your mouth sealed shut. And since you care about the truth so much then remember another truth that is the basis of your life— You were purchased as a good, not as a mate. And goods don't get the chance to complain about how they are treated, they are only for use until the owner gets tired and find a new one; You to me are not anything more than that, you are for use, not for affection."
It felt like a sharp blow on my cheek. He did not even hesitate for once before uttering those words, how could he not be bothered at all that with his words that worked like sharp knives, he tore my heart into millions of pieces?
I stood there still, unable to understand the mentality of this man whose only intention was to hurt me, and perhaps, he knew that he finally succeeded after putting through this entire argument.
Crushing my hopes and dignity under his shoes as he walked out of the room, knowing that he's damaged me and completely satisfied under his skin.