CIARA
When I arrived back home, I broke the news to herzl, telling him that he will be going overto live with his daddy, at first he was pretty excited and looking forward to it until he asked.
"Mummy, Will the three of us be going to lots of vacation?" His eyes was beaming with so much excitement.
"No Son, it will just be you and yourfather, I am sorry but I won't be coming with you guys." Although I try to hide the tears, but his innocent eyes made stream of tears flow through my eyes.
"Why is it mom? I thought you have finally forgiven daddy."
"It is not as easy as it seems but when you grow further, I believe that you will understand" I replied and carefully stroke the strain of his hair.
"Now son, you have to help me pack up your things including your favorite toys, that way you can have lots of fun when you miss me"
"No Mom, I don't want to go without you, Please come with us" "I am sorry Son, but it is not in my power" He cried and his tears shattered my heart into tiny pieces.
I had finish packing up his items and clothes when the door bell rang, I knew exactly who it was and went ahead to open the door.
Ryan had walked over to where Herzl sat with a frown on his face, but despite all what he said, my son was still in a bad mood.
Seeing that there was no way he could make his mood any better, he picked up his luggages and turn to me.
"I am sorry Ciara, but I think that I have tried a lot, come back home wifey or you will never get to see our son ever again".
Although the words had slipped out of his mouth and they sounded like words that was meant to console me, I could tell that it was a threat in sarcastic tone, one that I should never take lightly.
"You are not going to dare it! Take away my son completely and I will go through any length to see that I bring you down!!" I roared but he smiled calmly and walks out of the house with Herzl in his arm.
I could barely get any sleep throughout the night, my head spinning so badly and despite how many sleeping pills that I took to help me sleep and forget everything that occurred today, I was drown in my sorrows, my heart choking with pains that I could barely breathe.
I was able to get some sleep but woke up very early the next day, and when I arrived at the office, I had my eyes covered with sunshade because I knew how red and swollen they were.
A knock came through my door and Gerald stepped in. "Ciara hey, I tried reaching you last night, but your phone was out of reach"
"Yeah, it was out of power and I was too exhausted to charge it"
"Did he pick Herzl yesterday?" I nodded in reply to his question, because the tears was building up, and I was trying not to let it out.
"So how are you feeling?" That was the question that he should not have asked me, because it seemed to have triggered all the emotions in me. The tears filled my eyes, and I sob trying not to let show.
"Hey! Hey!! It alright, you do not have to hide it, I understand how you feel, let it all out Ciara, it must be difficult carrying this pains alone"
Stream of tears immediately flow through my eyes, he held me and I thought that this was an attempt to embrace and console me, but he lock his lips with mine, kissing me softly.
I froze there for a moment trying to comprehend what was going on, this was my best friend who I have never felt anything else for except for the friendship and bond that we share so I could not comprehend why he would do such a thing.
Someone cracks his throat, I was brought back to reality and immediately hauled him away and right at my office stood my son and his father Ryan.
There was a glitter of betrayal and disappointment in theireyes, I unfurl my mouth to speak, but nothing came out as they tremble and I watched the both of them storm out of there without saying another word to me.
"What the hell just happened, why would you do such a thing Gerald?" I inquired as soon as my breathed had calmed down and I was able to face him.
"I am sorry, I guess I lost control"
"Control?"
"Yes! I thought that I could always hide my feelings for you, but seeing you so heartbroken, it shattered my heart into tiny pieces that I lost control and badly wanted to share in your pain "
"Feelings for me, what are you talking about Gerald?" He swirl around, avoiding my gaze, a deep breathe from him before he spoke.
"Yes feelings Ciara, I have loved you for a long time now, but seeing all what you have been passing through, I did not want to pressure you with my feelings, so I try to hide it and be the best support that I can be to you".
His words gave me a mixed feeling that I did not know how to react and wished that he did not express his feeling to me. Gerald has been like a big brother through hard times and now his feelings might end up making things weird between the both of us especially now that I need him more than ever.
"I am sorry Gerald, but I have so much going on in my life and can not recipocate your feelings"
"It is alright Ciara, I fully understand you"
"And please, don't go around kissing people like that again, it can cause a lot of misunderstanding".
He nodded his head, getting the hint and steps out of my office with his head bowed low.