Freya
I stood gazing through the window outside, where Jurius had saved me. I couldn't stop thinking about him.
A knock on my door caused me to spin away from it. I went to open the door. It was Zira.
"It's Saturday, a day to go out with your friends and not lock yourself in your room all day," she said.
My head lowered as I took a large strand of my hair and placed it behind my ear.
"I like staying home on Friday to read," I retorted as my head lifted back toward her.
I did, but after what had happened between me and Jurius, every word I saw in the book was his name. It is hard for me to stay focused.
A sad look appeared on her face.
"I'll be fine," I told her, not wanting her to worry. Beside, this is something I did often when I was with my mom," I tried to cheer her up.
My back turned, and I walked away, feeling down and blinking every tear from my eyes, remembering my mom. I recalled reading as a hobby. I didn't do it because I loved to; it was a way for me to be somewhere that made me feel happy, a place where everything felt okay, and I had grown to love it.
I looked at the Alpha Christian novel lying on my bed, and more tears formed in my eyes. Though I and the female character Aria had different lives, we were similar in some ways: we wanted to be loved. I'm happy she had Christian for that. I walked over to my bed and sat down, knowing I'd never be as lucky as her. I'll never have someone who makes me feel loved and makes me feel as if I matter.
Zira came over to me and hugged me. I returned her hug.
"I hope you find some happiness here," she said.
I doubted it.
_________________________________________________________________________
It was the start of a new school week. As I got out of the car, my eyes eagerly searched for Jurius's pickup truck. Instantly, I felt a butterfly in my stomach, and my heart flutters the moment I see it. He was here. His vehicle was parked far from mine, under a tree.
"Freya," my body jumped, frightened.
I turned around, and I saw Dolly and her friends approaching me.
I wasn't someone who was good at having a conversation with anyone. I was bad at it.
A nervous smile appeared on my face as they got close to me, and I held onto the strap of my back tightly, fighting the nervousness.
"Hey, do you get permission to attend the trip?" I asked.
I bit my lip, loathing what I had said. Gosh, I felt so stupid. The science teacher had planned a trip for us to explore the center of the forest for different types of rocks. Of course, she would be going as well. I wanted to scream into a pillow, consumed with embarrassment.
"Nah, my mom doesn't want me to. She believes it's too dangerous, and so the girls and I will be here practicing," she said.
I exhaled, relieved. I guess I didn't mess up this time.
My toes curled up in my shoes, and I brushed a strand of my hair, not having anything else to say.
"You can get the information we missed out on from you, right?" Dolly asked.
I nodded, biting my bottom lip.
"See you when you're back," Dolly said, along with her friends.
"Bye."
My face was in pain, and my toes hurt from curling them up too hard. It was a hobbit of mine to control my nervousness whenever I was around anyone I wasn't used to.
I walked to the parking area where the school bus was. I noticed the students in the line. I didn't see him. Wasn't he coming as well? I was curious to know.
I looked back, hoping to get a glimpse of him somewhere. I didn't.
"Please give me your signed permission slip." I heard Ms. Burrow, the science teacher. I gave her it and went inside. There was an empty seat at the front; instead, I went to sit at the back next to a window. I prefer the back. I always feel like I'm being watched whenever I'm at the front. It makes me feel very uncomfortable.
My head turned to the window, and instantly I felt a fluttery sensation in my stomach. Jurius was walking alongside the bus.
I leered at him. He was attired in a light gray shirt that hugged his arms tightly and black pants with dark sneakers. I realized how thick he had gotten since the last time I'd seen him. My heart felt like it was about to stop the moment he gave his permission slip to Ms. Burrow and entered the bus. His mesmerizing eyes never went to me as he came into the Bus. He just slid into the front seat. I somehow felt disappointed that he didn't. My teeth played along my bottom lip, giving it small bites at the side as I remained to stare at him. I could only see his beautiful dark, thick, wavy hair and his broad shoulders now as he sat in his seat. Jurius was quite sturdy for a high schooler. I admired it.
The bus started, and for the entire time, I just kept looking at him. I've never taken my eyes off him to look along the road, not even for a minute. I reminisced about his strong arms catching me and wrapping around me when he caught me.
I pushed strands of hair from my face, trying to keep my thoughts under control. I've never stared at a guy like I did with him. I had butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw him or thought about him.
My lips slowly parted, realizing I had fallen for him too hard. It was hard to stay focused because all I could think about was him. I had managed to take my eyes off him, wishing I hadn't. I'm not good enough for him, and if there was some hope for me, our relationship wouldn't be forever, like a wolf and his mate. His love for me would eventually come to an end, and he'd leave me just like all the men by my mom's side. My mom's side of the family had bad luck with men, and I believe I will end up having the same fate as her.
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