It's been more than a week Killian left, not that I have been counting. My life has never felt so empty.
I didn't realize how much I needed him till
left, I have been better.
All thanks to Diane and her company, I never had any reason to do anything stupid until today.
I lifted my phone with a grin on my face and called Diane, she picked up at the third ring.
"hey,"
"I have been doing a lot of thinking and I think I am ready."
"Ready for what?"
"Take me to the club," I said.
"Girl!!! It's been a long I danced, thank goodness you suggested it. I need the perfect dress for this."
I snickered to myself while Diane did her mini-rant, if I was a good person I would have stopped her but I wasn't.
"Diane, I didn't mean that kind of club."
She paused, "Then what kind of club do you... Oh"
My grin was bigger than my head at her cuteness.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yeah, I listened to your advice and I want to go."
"You know sometimes, my advice might be bad and all. I don't want to force you into what you are not ready for."
"Diane, I am fine. For the very first time, I feel alive." I told her.
The hole in my words was too much, for the first time since Killian left me, I felt like I could do something. Anything to feel like myself.
"Fine, I will talk to Zack. Are you sure about this?"
I sighed to myself, rubbing my forehead. "For the last time, I am sure."
"Okay."
I hung up and released a breath.
Now that I think about it, I am a little nervous. What if I meet Killian there?
What should I say?
Where are we over or taking a break?
I didn't want to have sex with anyone in the club, I just wanted to be entertained and just let loose.
Another part of me hopelessly wanted to find out more about Killian, his past. I was hoping to hear a different story than what Zack told me.
I got dressed waiting for Diane, I was wearing a leather dress with a slit on the tire and my fuck me shoes.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw that everything on my body was a gift from Killian.
My fingers wrapped themselves around my necklace, it had been a gift for a milestone when I started the parlor.
The thoughts brought fresh tears to my eyes, despite being torn over my decision, I couldn't stop thinking about him.
My phone rang and I picked it up.
"We are outside your house," Diane screamed into my ears.
I winced and hung up. I stared at my reflection one more time and sighed to myself.
"One night, Catalina. Give yourself one night."
The pep talk helped hype me up as I locked the door and headed toward the car.
"Wow, you look lovely tonight." Zach whistled.
"Thank you," I lowered my head, afraid of pissing off Diane.
"He is right, you look gorgeous," Diane said as I got in.
"Thank you,"
"So I guess you are doing this, huh? When Diane told me, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was her trying to get me to take her there."
I smiled shyly, "I insisted. I just thought I should try something new."
"Or someone new." Diane wiggled her brows.
The laugh escaped before I could stop it, for the first time since he left I allowed myself to laugh.
Judging by the twinkle in Diane's eyes, she knew that too. I returned the smile she gave me even when I knew it was filled with pity.
When we arrived at the club, my heart filled with so much hope that I will get to see Killian tonight.
He might be ignoring me but there was no chance in hell that he would abandon his club.
"Come on, let's go to the bar. You look like you could use a drink." Diane grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the bar.
"I wanted to see him."
"I know."
"You must think I am pathetic."
Diane shook her head but her eyes didn't like it, she thought I was pathetic and I was.
I just didn't want to admit it to myself.
"What do you ladies want?"
Zack pulled Diane in for a deep kiss that lasted for twenty minutes while the bartender stared at me with sympathy.
God! Was it so obvious that I was nursing a broken heart?
Feeling bold all of a sudden I faced the bartender, "Shots, please. Keep them coming."
"Whoa! Are you sure you can handle that?" he asked.
I nodded, "Trust me, I need it."
He nodded and proceeded to make it for me.
"Guys," I called out to the lovely couple still smooching in front of me. "Do you mind?"
Diane got the hint and turned to me, "I am so sorry."
"Don't apologize, you cannot be walking on eggshells around me. I came here for the company."
"I know."
Zack leaned in, "You are here. Look around you, a lot of masters to choose from. You can't be pining after Killian forever."
Okay, ouch.
"I am not sure." I started to say.
"You don't have to make that decision now. Take your time and know how things are done."
Zack was right. The truth kind of hurts but I needed to hear it.
"Okay, we have established that I am not the kind of woman Killian would go for and I am curious, what kind of woman do you think he would go for?" I asked.
Diane and Zack looked at me and then at themselves.
"We don't know."
"I know you do." they kept looking at me, "Come on guys, I can handle it."
Zack was skeptical, "Last time we told you something, this happened. I am not sure I want to repeat that mistake."
"I am serious. Tell me." I persisted.
"Vixen." Diane blurted out.
"Who?"