Killian finally left for work leaving me to drown in my thoughts.
I still hated that he could bounce back from this and I couldn't.
It made me pathetic.
I dressed up and called Diane. I need to apologize for my part in this.
"Catalina, I have been trying to reach you since. What happened?"
"I know you have a lot of questions but I wanted to apologize about Zack. I am sure he told you everything."
I heard her sigh, "Yes he did."
"I am so sorry."
"Why? You are not the one who kidnapped him."
"I know but still,"
Diane sighed again, "Catalina, Zack is just my master for sexual favors, not my husband. He survived and that's all that matters. You don't need to apologize."
"But it was because of me he was hurt."
"Well, he had it coming since he was talking bad about Killian Black."
"Okay, if you say so," I said.
"Yeah, you are not coming to work today?"
"No, I have something to do. You are in charge for today."
"Yes, boss."
I chuckled.
We exchanged a few more information and she hung up.
I stared at the phone as I sighed to myself, wishing I could be more like Diane.
Separating her emotions from sex so clearly that she was fine with this.
I would be turning the world upside down if the reverse was the case. I had to admit, I envied her.
I couldn't talk to her about what happened between me and Killian, Diane would disapprove of it and I was in no mood for judgement.
Sadly I have no friends.
My mind went to Vixen immediately, she wouldn't judge me and I wanted to see her anyway after the way we left things yesterday.
I called, and she answered on the third ring.
"I can't see you right now so I would refer to this as the call of shame."
I burst into laughter.
"Can we talk? I am in a mood to rant."
"Sure, want to have coffee?"
"I will meet you there," I said as I hung up.
I grabbed my keys and locked the door, I got to the coffee shop and ordered a latte while waiting for Vixen.
I was nervous, I desperately needed an answer to my problem with Killian.
I couldn't let it keep bothering me.
Vixen came into the coffee shop and headed straight for me.
"Hi, have you been waiting for long?"
I shook my head, "I just got here. Here is your order."
She grabbed it and took a sip, "I needed this."
She gave me a once over once she dropped her cup, "You look good, what's your secret."
"I took a bath?"
"Are you asking me or telling me?"
"Killian and I had sex last night."
I expected the judgment, the disgust for sleeping with him after I swore I would end things with him.
"You dog! How was it?" she asked.
I looked up in shock, "Are you kidding me?"
"What's wrong? It wasn't good?"
I shook my head, "No, I didn't expect you to be so cool about it."
Vixen sighed and grabbed my hand, "Catalina, I can't possibly judge you. I am not standing on a moral ground here. My name is Vixen got God's sake."
I burst into laughter.
"I get your point."
"You sound happy about the sex but something is bothering you."
"Yes, how can he pretend like he didn't leave or kidnap Zack."
"Catalina..."
"Hold on, he made me breakfast in bed, told me that the marriage was back on the table then he told me he missed me."
"I am confused, so we don't like that?"
"No, we don't." I snapped.
I sighed again, "I like that he missed me and that he is considering marriage but how can I get married to someone who might lose control and kill me one day or still see me as a slave."
Vixen snickered making me glare at her.
"It's not funny."
"For you, no. For me? Yes, it is."
"What do I do?"
"How about you let him lose control with another woman?"
I frowned, "I don't want him with another woman."
She leaned forward, "I know you don't but if you continue to be scared, he would be leaving you for another woman. Killian is born for that world."
"He is?"
"Yes, and you knew this before getting involved with him. It's kind of cowardly that you are talking about being afraid when you knew that was who he was."
I frowned, I looked at her expecting her to burst into laughter but she looked serious. I knew she was being honest with me but this kind of hurt.
"Ouch,"
"It's the truth. If you let him go, there are a lot of women who would cut up their arms just to be with him."
I buried my face in my hands, "You are right. What should I do?"
"I know you are worried about him sleeping with another woman but what if he has already?"
"He told me she was searching for my replacement but he couldn't stop thinking about me."
"That is so adorable. Who knew Killian Black was a romantic at heart."
"I am surprised too."
"What if we made him lose control of another woman?"
"I am listening."
Vixen took a sip from her cup before talking, "If that woman was me, you wouldn't have to worry about Killian sleeping with me, I won't stab you like that."
"Go on."
"So you can tell him you have a surprise for him and bring him to me. I would provoke him into losing control and see if he would snap."
I thought about it. It was a pretty good idea but I was still skeptical about Killian and another woman.
I looked at Vixen as she waited for me to think it over, there was no reason for me to trust her.
After all, my happiness mattered and that's what I was hoping to achieve.
And like a fool, I hopelessly bought the product.
"Okay, let's do it."
I drank from my cup, missing Vixen's malicious smile of satisfaction on her face.