Great. Looking at myself in the mirror in another hospital room. I was wearing one of those stupid gowns waiting for the doctor. My neck felt a bit sore around the choker and I was trying to take it off when I heard a scream from another room. Someone was screaming as if they were being murdered. I guess that was normal in a place like this. This must be the price of making a hard decision like I had to.
I paced around the room second guessing everything that led up to this point. I was making the right decision, right? The risk is too great. And...and...I could have a baby later in the future. Unless something happens during the operation that turns my womb into a hostile environment. Then my mate might really reject me. I would be a mateless, motherless wolf. GAH! I’m over-thinking again. Maybe this was a bad idea.
I started to pick up my clothes and leave when the door opened. A doctor and two smiling nurses walked in. They seemed to be in a great mood despite the screaming I heard next door.
“Ah, Miss Lake, leaving so soon,” the doctor inquired.
“I was...well..I was thinking…”
He waved his hands. “No need to think right now. This will be over as soon as you can say, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
He laughs but that doesn’t make me feel better. The weird smiling nurses who vaguely looked like Alaia, ushered me back to the chair and quickly strapped me in. I could feel a panic attack coming on as the doctor touches my hand.
“Relax, Miss Lake. Everything is going to be fine. Just think in just a few hours, you'll be free.”
Ironic since they had me strapped down. I turned to look at him and he pulled out a huge knife.
“Wait! Shouldn’t I be put to sleep or something?”
The doctor looks at me confused before laughing again. I really wanted to punch him in the face. What is so damn funny?
“It’s a bit too late for that. If I don't abort it now you’re going to have to give birth right now and you're not strong enough for that. You will die.”
That’s insane. I was only 11 of the usual 24 weeks in. It was my time to look confused until I realized my belly was growing by the second and something was moving inside. At first I could only feel the little pokes and prods, until it was starting to get painful.
“No! Please don’t.” I started to scream and move but the smiling Alaia-looking nurses held me down. The doctor used the knife to rip a hole in my gown as my belly grew bigger. It looked like something out of a horror movie.
“There he is. All ripe and ready to be killed,” the doctor smiled while rubbing his hands across my belly.
He? It’s a boy? My thoughts were interrupted by a pain shooting through my body. I tried to scream as the pain started to intensify but the choker tightened around my throat. I looked at the doctor who was sitting there smiling along with the nurses. I tried to reach out forgetting my arms and legs were bound.
“Please, please help me. It hurts,” I said, looking at the nurses who were definitely Alaia now.
“Why would we help you,” they asked with a vicious grin.
I kept saying it over and over, hoping I would just pass out from the pain. No one moved to help. They just stood there and watched as I could feel my baby pushing inside of me. Was he trying to rip me open?
“This is what you wanted, Zira. This is why you’re here,” the doctor laughed.
I shook my head as tears fell from my eyes. I felt helpless and tired. Tired of fighting myself over this. Tired of worrying and keeping secrets. I just wanted to live. I wanted a future. Was that so wrong? I give up. I stopped fighting and let the pain take me over as I watched the doctor raise his knife over my belly. He came down lightning fast only to be stopped by a blinding light. I shielded my eyes and waited. Waited for whatever to happen until a hand pulled mine from my face.
“Don’t go leaving me now,” a familiar voice said as I looked up and saw Isaiah standing there smiling at me. The doctor and nurses were gone. I wasn't bound anymore though my throat was still sore. He placed his hand on my belly and I felt the tingles dance across my skin.
“He’s ready to come out, Zira. Just relax and let him come out on his own,” His gray eyes trapped mine like the first time we met. He touched my forehead and a sense of calm washed over me. I could feel the tears running down my face as he wiped them away.
“It hurts, Isaiah. It hurts so bad,” I croaked out.
Isaiah cocked his head to the side confused. “I’m not Isaiah,” he said smiling and touching the side of my face, “I’m your mate.”
I looked back up at Isaiah’s face confused and instead of his usual gray eyes they were green. His curly hair that was black was now red, but his face was the same. What the hell is going on?
“I don’t unders-” Another painful wave threw me back against the chair. My mate touched my forehead and I felt the tingles shoot throughout my body again, bringing me temporary relief.
“We will get through this, Zira,” weird-looking Isaiah said. “But first let’s get rid of this.”
He snatched the choker off my neck and it turned into a snake. It writhed between his fingers as he tightened it into a fist. The moment he squashed it the pressure around my throat seemed to lighten a bit.
“How did you know to do that,” I asked as he wiped the mess from his hand. This time I noticed more of his face. It was still Isaiah but he had little freckles on his cheeks.
“The Goddess told me so. I am here to help you through this, Zira. You are stronger than you think.”
I shook my head as another painful wave fought against my mate’s touch. “I can’t, I can’t, please. Please help me,” I begged, feeling my strength leaving me. I felt his grip tighten around my hand.
“Zira, you got this,” weird Isaiah said, grabbing my hand and placing it on my belly. “Do you feel that?”
I looked at him for a second wondering what he was talking about until I felt it. At first it was a small thump followed by a big one. My baby was kicking me. Not trying to rip out but reminding me he was here. He was fighting to stay. I thought it would hurt but it didn’t.
“He’s strong. Just like his mother. If he can fight then so can you, Zira, and I will be right there.”
“How I don’t even know who you are.”
He brought my hand to his lips and planted small kisses. Each one sending tingles up my arm. I closed my eyes, relishing each kiss. It was still weird how much he reminded me of Isaiah but the feeling was amazing. “You will.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. As soon as you come to me.” I looked at my mate and it wasn't Isaiah. It was someone new, someone I’ve never met. Someone beautiful. He smiled at me and started to flow away.
“No, don’t go. I need you here. I don’t know where you are,” I said, reaching for him.
“You will but first you have to wake up.” What? What did he mean?
“I am up.”
“No, you have to wake up. NOW, ZIRA!” He screamed and everything went black.
I bolted up and almost ran straight into Isabella’s face. I concentrated on my breathing looking at my surroundings. I was in a room, a doctor’s office. My head was spinning as I tried to focus. Isabella was talking to me but I could barely understand her. There was a small throbbing pain around my neck as I touched it. The choker was gone.
“Isa,” I croaked, feeling how dry my mouth was.
She pulled me into a hug and that’s when I saw the two nurses and the doctor on the floor. I was too dizzy to even panic as I remembered how I got there. I walked in earlier for my appointment. The doctor asked if I wanted to see an ultrasound and I said yes. I saw my baby on the screen no bigger than a turnip. The nurses helped me undress and did the final examination. They gave me medicine to help sedate me and waited for it to work but it didn’t. I was still wide awake and nervous. So they left to get me another round when I fell asleep.
Now I’m here which means it happened. I did it. I got an abortion. I was too late. Not strong enough to keep him alive.
“No, no, no. Isabella, I didn’t...I didn’t.” I grabbed onto her and cried while she rubbed circles in my back.
“No you didn’t, Zi. You linked me just in time. You linked me,” Isabella said with tears in her eyes too. “Cutting it a bit close though.”
Thank the Goddess I thought as I absentmindedly touched my belly.
“As much as I would love to sit here and celebrate. We need to leave. I had to knock out a few more people in the front too,” Isabella laughed while helping me get my things.
I didn't bother to change as we bolted out the door. I saw a few other nurses knocked out and the front receptionist on the phone. Probably calling the police. We ran out as I thought this was going to be one crazy story to tell.
We made it back to the motel I rented for the day. With Isabella’s help I took a long, long shower to help myself think. I couldn't believe I was going to make one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was still scared with my life on the line but I refuse to let that stand in my way. I will not doubt myself ever again. I am strong and I can do this. I only have 11 weeks to go. 11 weeks to regain my strength.
I wrapped myself in a towel and looked into the mirror. I looked terrible. Rings under my eyes from the lack of sleep and my face has sunken in from the lack of an appetite. Starting from this day I was going to do everything I can to become strong. Strong enough for my child and strong enough to find my mate. I noticed the bruise on my neck and walked into the other room.
“Isa, where’s my choker,” I asked, remembering that I was wearing it when I went into the clinic room.
“Oh, you were clawing at it like you couldn't breathe. So I ripped it off,” she said, pulling something out of her pocket. “But I kept the pendant.”
She held the pendant out to me but for some reason I didn't feel like touching it. “Just put it in my bag.”
“Zira, were you planning on leaving?” Isabella noticed the items I had in my bag. They were things to survive for a few weeks in the woods if needed be. I figured once I had the abortion I would run away. I wasn't planning on going back to the pack.
“I was but-”’ I stopped when a familiar cinnamon scent tickled my nose. Mate? I wondered as I turned towards the smell when the room’s door burst open revealing a half naked, fuming Alpha Isaiah.