I laid on top of my mate trying to catch my breath after another round of love making. This has been constant for the past month and a half. He had just come back from a run with his pack, smelling the pine needles and the morning air. Apparently that’s all it took to get Elena up and ready. I was surprised he hasn’t said anything about me giving control to Elena whenever we had sex. I was grateful for it. I knew full well he wouldn't like my answer.
Don’t get me wrong, I can feel everything Elena felt and it was my body but something in me was holding me back. Back for what? I wasn't sure I just knew touching him in an intimate fashion was too much for me. I felt like I was cheating someone. Or maybe I’m still not fully ready to accept that this was my life and I have someone who was bound to me.
In the back of my mind I just hoped it was going to be James. When Maria died, I just knew I was going to be his second-chance mate. I was ready to step up and help him through the most painful part in his life, but he pushed me away farther. Then he tried to kill me. Still my heart yearned for him. Thinking if I can love him enough he would come around. Then my brother went and banished him. I lost the chance to finally have someone I wanted, someone I yearned for.
So when I’m with Isaiah I can’t help but think of James. Of how he would hold me, devour my body, kiss his mark near my collarbone to send shivers down my spine, and pound me until my soul felt itself leaving my body. Wishful thinking I suppose.
For now I am satisfied with what Isaiah can give me. Even without the little bracelet I could feel his love for me. The way he sees me makes me feel so unusual. As if he’s seeing a part of me that died a long time ago. Drawing circles on his chest I thought about what could've happened if we had met earlier. I wonder if his affection towards me would’ve overshadowed the affection I had towards James. Maybe Maria would still be alive and we would've stayed best friends. Maybe we could’'ve been a big happy family, going on double dates, sharing sex stories, coordinating with each other so our children would be born around the same time. Maybe a lot of things could've been different but for now it isn't. We have to deal with the cards we’ve been dealt.
“A penny for your thoughts,” Isaiah whispered through my hair.
“Then it must be a rare penny if you want that,” I said, looking up at him with a smile.
“If it can help me get inside that pretty head of yours, I would scour the entire earth for that penny.” Isaiah smiled and for a moment I was caught up.
I could not forget how handsome he looks and those eyes. Smokey gray and mesmerizing. I could stare at them all day if I allowed myself to. Oh, how I hated how things have turned out. I looked into my mates’ eyes thinking I could really fall in love with him, like deeply in love and I could live happily ever after.
“I was just thinking about our life. How it’s going to change once we have kids. I like enjoying the fact that it’s just us for now.”
He planted a soft kiss on my forehead and I could feel him hesitate as if he was going to say something. “You know,” he started and stopped, probably thinking about what he was going to say. “You know we don't have to rush this, Alaia. I will still honor the deal even if we wait five or ten years.”
I sat up and sat on the edge of the bed. Was he serious? “Is that what you want?” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice and by his face I knew he could tell.
“Alaia, I want whatever makes you happy. I just don’t want us to regret anything. That’s all.” He tried to reach for my hand and I moved away.
“I didn't know having a child with my mate was a regrettable thing, Isaiah.” I didn’t feel like being in the same room as him so I walked away towards our bathroom for my usual routine pregnancy test. I take them every week hoping for a positive result. I laid the used test on the sink and prepared for my shower. Isaiah stood in the doorway as if he was waiting for permission to come in and bother me.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he said, coming up behind me to caress my arms. “I would love nothing more than to see you bear my children. I misspoke.”
I hated that I just couldn't be mad at him for too long. His touch affected me in ways I could only describe as magic. I leaned into his embrace as he began to pepper kisses along the side of my face to my neck.
“Well I guess you’re gonna have to make it up to me,” I said.
I stepped away from his embrace and into the shower. I turned and watched him as he patiently waited for my next command. I can't tell how much I love to pull off control and right now I had all the control I wanted over him. I beckoned him to come closer and we continued our love fest while cleaning ourselves for the day ahead.
After the shower, Isaiah was off to his Alpha’s duties while I had a few errands of my own to attend. I was on my way to the kitchen to pick a few items to take with me when I heard some Omegas having a conversation. I stayed out of view to eavesdrop on what they were saying.
“I’m telling you, Luna Alaia walked out of that room like she was going to kill someone,” Omega Lisa said.
“Wouldn’t you? What would you do if your mate was having a baby with someone else,” Omega Ava countered. Well at least someone could understand from my point of view.
“Yeah, especially with Alpha Isaiah. I would suffer a beating for a passionate night with the gray-eyed, handsome devil.”
They both laughed quietly. “Lisa, stop that. They could have your tongue speaking of the Alpha like that.”
“I’m just saying. Zira got the good end of the stick. She got to have a passionate night with the Alpha without any consequences and now she’s having an Alpha baby. Do you think she planned that all along?”
“Really Lisa. You know they’ve been pinning for each other since she first arrived here. The moment that ball pounded her face and he helped her, I just knew. They are destined. Even I felt the sparks.”
I forced the growl in my throat to stay put. What did this Omega know about my mate? No one is destined to be with him except me. Elena was pressing me to shut these Omegas up but I waited to hear more.
“Ava, you’re such a romantic. Zira knew what she was doing. From the beginning she hooked her claws into Isaiah and never let go until he popped one in her belly.”
I stifled a laugh at how ridiculous she sounded, but I was glad I wasn't the only one who didn't like Zira.
“Lisa, that’s a terrible thing to say. Zira and Isaiah are the cutest couple in this entire pack and you know that. They were practically drooling all over each other until his mate showed up. Poor Zira.”
“Poor Zira? Poor Luna. She has to deal with raising another woman’s child.” Lisa laughed at the thought. “This should be entertaining for us at least.”
“Did you see the Alpha and Zira a couple days ago? They looked like a true power couple. I wouldn’t mind if she was Luna,” Ava gushed.
That was it. I was tired of listening to them gossip and disrespect me as their Luna. I wouldn’t allow it.
“What is this nonsense?!” They both jumped at the sound of my voice. “Two Omegas wasting their time gossiping. About me-” I pause to look at them both cowering before me. “And my mate.” I ended with a growl.
“We’re so-so-sorry Luna.” They both stuttered.
“I will not tolerate this type of behavior. Since you’re so keen on gossiping, maybe I should take your tongues to keep you quiet.”
They both fell to the ground crying like they were losing their lives. I felt I was being lenient. I stood there waiting for their pitiful sobs to stop but it didn’t.
“Alright, alright. Your cries are irritating. Stand up.” I waited for them to get and wiped their faces. Then I had an idea. “I will forgive your transgressions as long as you promise never to gossip about me again. However, if you hear anything else, say about Zira, I want to be the first to know. Understand?”
“Of course Luna,” Lisa agreed with a smile.
My gaze landed on Ava, who looked a bit unsure and glanced over to Lisa. I knew it was because she was on Team Zira but I was her Luna. So that trump any loyalty she had to her. I cleared my throat to get her attention. “Ava, is there a problem?”
She shook her head. “Of course not Luna. I will do what you ask.”
“Great. Now get back to work.”