I watched Isaiah smile when I agreed to take a walk with him. He’s been in a good mood ever since he found out he was having a son. I guess that can change men. Having a prodigy as if girls couldn't be a prodigy. That just made me even more irritated but I had to control it.
Lately small things got on my nerves and I didn't have my mom here to help me through it. I really miss my family. Maybe a walk would be good to vent and take in the fresh air. I do love the winter and snow most of all, and I haven’t been in the woods for a while. So this could be good.
“Great,” Isaiah smiled.
He finally let go of my hand and walked to the porch where Mary was standing. She had a bag and a few other things I couldn't see in her hands.
Isaiah took everything from her before he made his way back to me. I looked at Mary who gave me a smile and waved goodbye.
Well if she had a hand in this then maybe that’s a good sign. I know I can truly trust Mary. She has always had my back. So I just need to relax and enjoy this walk. I can do that, right? Yeah I can do that. First let’s stop answering yourself, Zira. Where was your wolf when you needed her? Isaiah walked over with a green scarf and wrapped it around my neck.
“Here, I bought this for you in case it gets too cold,” he said, making sure the scarf was secured. “Hopefully green is still your favorite color.”
He stood close enough for me to get a good whiff of his scent. The cinnamon reminded me of my mom’s baking, especially her warm cinnamon rolls. The memory made me feel sad that she wasn’t here. I didn't like being this way with him so close, so I stepped away.
“Yeah, I hope the Luna doesn’t mind you buying gifts for me,” I said, stepping away. The scarf was very pretty and soft and my favorite color.. Why can’t I just say ‘Thank you’.
“I think she’ll be fine with me buying a gift for a friend-”
“Maybe we should hurry and get started while we still have the light.” I motioned for him to take the lead.
He nodded and we started on our way. We walked through the forest, winding through the trees. He seemed to know where we were going but I was barely paying attention. I took this moment to listen. The sounds of the forest were like music to my ears. Hearing animals move between the trees jumping between the branches and on the ground darting through the snowbanks. I used to hang in trees just listening to the life of the forest with each season bringing different music. Oh how I miss training.
I focused on the sound of the snow crunching underneath my boots. It was almost rhythmic. I looked around and noticed where we were. I remembered being attacked here and suddenly I became a bit paranoid. Why was he bringing me out here? Was he trying to banish me now that my family isn't here? Giving me a scarf so I won’t freeze to death too quickly? He wouldn't want to get rid of me right now? Oh Goddess, what is wrong with me? I shook my head trying to get rid of these stupid thoughts. I know Isaiah and he wouldn't. He just wouldn't.
Nina, where are you? I’m freaking out. Wolf radio silence which didn’t help my paranoia. The last time she disappeared like this nothing good happened.
We kept moving farther away from the packhouse. I kept looking back to check how far we were until it disappeared altogether. I guess being stuck there in that room for a long time gave me a sense of security. When I turned around I ran right into Isaiah. I started to fall back when a pair of arms caught me and pulled me close.
“I got you. What are you looking for that’s got you so distracted,” Isaiah asked.
“Nothing,” I said, trying to regain my footing and at the same time creating distance between us. I didn't need an angry Luna coming at me out of nowhere. Alaia would definitely kill me. I wonder where she is right now. She could probably feel him holding me just now.
“Zi, chill. You’re my friend and I’m allowed to care about you,” Isaiah said while grabbing my hand and leading me forward.
Again I tried to pull away thinking I needed both hands in case of an attack. “Relax for now. I’ll give it back to you when we reach our destination,” Isaiah said, looking at our hands.
Before I could protest, I started to recognize our surroundings. This area started to look familiar. I heard the sound of water and in an instant we cleared the tree line to a spectacular view. Our spot. Isaiah let go of my hand as I glided towards the edge of the waterfall.
“Hey, be careful on the edge there. We don’t want the wind to take you away now.”
Below I saw miles and miles of trees covered in soft white snow. The sun was setting and casting an amazing glow that made the snow covered trees near the horizon look as if they were on fire.
“I forgot how beautiful this place is,” I said, more to myself.
The wind picked up a bit making little hurricanes of snow drift around. I followed it with my eyes and noticed Isaiah hovering around a tree. I started to walk towards him.
“What are you doing,” I asked while trying to look around him and peek.
He turned towards me with plugs in his hands and the biggest smile on his face. He joined both of the plugs and the trees around the clearing lit up. There were a multitude of changing colors spread throughout the trees. I walked under them until I felt I was covered with all the lights. It reminded me of the drive thru light festival my family was at right now.
Isaiah took two folded chairs out of his bag and set them up under the trees. He took my hand and helped settle me in the chair before sitting in his. He took a canteen out with two cups and poured something into both of them. He handed me one and I could smell it was hot chocolate. He pulled something wrapped from another bag and my nose could already tell it was a cinnamon roll. Not my mother’s but still dessert. He handed one to me and I noticed it was still warm.
“How are they still warm,” I asked. Not that I cared. I would eat these cold, warm, and even if they fell on the floor. Given the five second rule.
Isaiah pulled something out of the bag. “Adding a hand warmer to an insulated bag seemed to do the trick. Actually I learned that from Mary. Got to give her props next time I see her.”
I sat back in my chair enjoying my hot chocolate and cinnamon roll. We didn't say a word. Just sat back and watched the lights change and dance to a holiday melody. I couldn’t help but smile. I was being all grumpy while he orchestrated this little show for me. This was perfect.
“Thank you,” I said genuinely.
Isaiah nodded and we went back to enjoying the view. After a few more cinnamon rolls and another cup of hot chocolate, Isaiah started packing up. When he finished, he grabbed my hand and instinctively I pulled away. I saw he looked a bit hurt.
“I’m sorry. It’s just a habit,” I said.
I felt like a fool being mean to him but I didn't want to cause any problems. What if Alaia sees this? What if it pains her every time he touches me? I am not a homewrecker but still every time I’m with him I feel that way.
“I’m strong enough to walk without help, Alp…Isaiah. Thank you.”
“Of course,” he smiled and motioned me to lead the way. “Hopefully all these sweets haven’t spoiled your appetite. I have a spread prepared back at the pack house for us.”
For us? I hope that means more than just him and me. Of course it doesn’t. He wants to be alone with you. No! Why am I thinking this way?
“Isaiah, this is already too much. I can just eat in my room,” I suggested.
“Will you actually eat it or paint the walls,” he said slowly.
I knew he was being careful because of what happened earlier. It’s not that I didn't want to eat, I just didn't want anything Lisa brought me. I didn't trust her, even Nina was wary before she just up and left.
Nina, are you there?
I’ve been trying to reach her for the past week now and still I got nothing. At first I thought she was in one of her moods and decided to ignore me but now it feels like there’s a ghost in her place. I felt empty, but sometimes I still get a sense of her. I don't know why she’s ignoring me, especially now that I need her. I know alone I’m not strong enough to have this baby and if she’s not there, I’m sure neither one of us will make it.
“Zi, what’s wrong?”
I turned to look at Isaiah. I was a bit confused until I realized I was crying. I guess this was getting to me more than I expected.
“I’m fine. We should hurry and get back.” I quickly wiped my face and started back walking. I didn’t want to talk about it. It only made me sad which made me angry. I needed to get back to my room. At least there I can vent alone without someone watching me. Isaiah grabbed my arm to stop me.
“Hey, if something is bothering you let me know. I’m here for you, Zi.”
“That’s the problem,” I snapped at him. I don't why I was throwing my anger at him but he was the only one here. “Every time we’re close, something bad happens and it’s never to you. It’s always me.”
“I won't let anything happen to you.”
I scoffed and went back to walking. The pack house was finally coming into view and I was glad. I didn't want to have this conversation with him. Right now I wanted to be alone. I quickened my steps as much as I could but Isaiah was right on my heels.
“Zi, I mean it. I’m trying to protect you as much as I can.”
“Then maybe you suck at it because lately everything that has happened to me has something to do with you. Either directly or indirectly.”
“That’s not fair, Zi.”
“You’re right, it’s not! It’s not fair that you’re the one being taken away from your family and friends, in the likelihood you survive giving birth to a baby that everyone seems to care more about. It’s not fair that there are people out there trying to kill you or that you found your mate at the wrong time or you’re being punished for a mistake that involved two people. Tell me Isaiah. Did I miss anything?”
We stared at each other for a while before he said, ”Your eyes. They’re red. Isabella said they were that color when somebody was hexing us at-”
He pulled me close and started to look around searching for something. At this moment I didn't care too much. I was angry at the fact that was all he had to say. He wasn't even listening to me.
“I told you,” I said using all my might to push him away from me, “STOP TOUCHING ME!”