I remembered feeling cold. It was so cold, it hurted and there was nothing I could do. Just laying here, floating in nothingness. Again. I thought this was another dream but when I closed my eyes I returned back to the dark. Dark just like before. The only difference this time around was Nina. She laid right by side, so I wasn’t alone. At least if I was dead, I was with her. I knew she tried her best and I only wished I could be as strong as her.
I could feel myself shaking. My body laid flat on the floor. So I couldn't wrap my arms around my legs to warm myself. The cold never left me, it only seemed to get worse. Until I felt the warmth of someone’s touch spread throughout my body. Was someone holding me?
“Did you feel that,” I asked, opening my eyes and finding Nina nowhere to be seen. “Nina? Nina, where are you?”
Panic started to creep into my mind again. My breathing became ragged and I felt as if I was going under. Though I wasn't sure if I could go any further than this. I was still stuck on the floor as if something was weighing me down. I would give anything to be able to get up. At least I would be able to put my head between my knees to help with my breathing. Then out of nowhere a bright light spread across the darkness in a flash. I closed my eyes to shield myself away from it when I felt her brush up against my body.
“It’s gonna be okay, Zira,” Nina whispered in my head. “We’re going to be okay.”
Without a second thought, I felt my hand reach out. I didn't believe I had the strength to move until now. Afraid to lose it, I grabbed a fistful of her fur. I felt for her heartbeat, which was normal, and used that to control my breathing. We stayed like this for a moment.
Then it happened again. Someone was holding me. This time it was for much longer and…it felt great. It instantly calmed my nerves. It surrounded me like a warm glove. I could feel life returning to my body. One by one, I moved my limbs until I was sitting up.
“There we go, Zira. I knew you could do it,” Nina said while moving back to give me room to stand.
“What is happening to us,” I wondered out loud.
“I don't know for sure but I think it could be-”
“Our mate.” We said at the same time. We looked at each other a bit surprised and excited. Could it really be him? Nina would know, right?
“I can’t get his scent to make sure but when he touched us, it felt-”
“Like Isaiah,” I said, remembering all the times we touched, “but stronger. That’s the mate’s touch, right?”
Nina sighed and laid on the ground. “I just don't know, Zira. I can't get his scent but maybe you can talk to him,” she suggested.
I shook my head. I didn't feel ready to leave here. Out there I’ve made one mistake after another and almost got us killed twice. In this place, I could do no wrong. Here I had an illusion of strength. Strength that could easily disappear the moment I wake up. I couldn’t. I just can’t.
“Zira-”
“Don't make me do this,” I snapped at her and curled up away from her.
I knew she was disappointed. I could feel it and it made me feel worse, but I didn’t want to leave here. For the past two weeks, I’ve grown accustomed to the inside of my mind. Here I made no mistakes. Here I didn't hurt anyone. Here I actually felt safe. I wish she could understand that and just leave and just like that-she did.