Chapter Eight
*Scars left unhealed
are cuts that were filled,
with hatred and unshed tears.*
“I DON’T want you to come. It’s just a soccer practice,” Rainiel said lazily. “It’s not even a competition or something big.”
Tinapos ni Reeve ang pagsisintas ng rubber shoes bago tiningnan ang anak. “Gusto lang kitang samahan. It’s your Daddy Time, remember?”
Tumalikod ito at isinukbit sa balikat ang backpack. “You’re just going to distract me, Daddy. I can go to practice all by myself. Ihatid at sunduin mo na lang ako.”
“I heard from your grandma that your teammates’ parents are always there to watch. Hindi pa kita napapanood mag-practice. Don’t you want Daddy to support you?”
Umiling si Rainiel. Nagsalubong pa ang mga kilay. “Basta. You don’t have to stay there,” matigas pa ring sabi nito. “Ihatid mo lang ako. I’m going to be fine.”
“But I want to watch you,” giit niya. Kung ang ibang mga anak niya ay naging sabik sa oras na inilalaan niya nang solo sa mga ito, si Rainiel ay kabaliktaran. Kagabi pa ito umaangal, ayaw magpasama sa soccer practice.
“You don’t have to, Daddy! I’m already a big boy!” Pinagkrus ni Rainiel ang mga braso sa mga balikat. “Hindi ko na need ng mag-aasikaso sa akin. I can do it by myself.”
Napabuga ng hangin si Reeve. Niyuko niya ang anak. “Look, son, Daddy wants to know you more. I want to spend time with you because I admit, I wasn’t able to do this before. Dati, binubuhat lang kita. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ka lumaki nang ganito. I lost track. I want to make it up to you.” He patted his son’s hair.
Iniiwas ni Rainiel ang ulo. “You don’t have to. I’m not asking you to. Malaki na ako, Daddy. Hindi mo na ako kailangang samahan sa practice. Kasi sa mga soccer competition nga mismo, wala ka. I’m used to it. Sanay akong wala ka, Daddy.”
Napakurap si Reeve. Ramdam niya ang talim na bumaon nang pino sa kanyang dibdib. This was the first time he heard his own son say those words. Sanay na itong… wala siya.
Nalaglag ang kanyang mga balikat. Wala na siyang maisagot dahil kahit siya ay aminado sa mga pagkukulang.
“Si Mommy ang lagi kong kasama sa practice. Siya rin ang laging nasa competitions. You don’t have to sub for her while she’s… on vacation. Just take me to school and pick me up later.”
Lumabas na ng bahay si Rainiel. Wala pa ring masabi si Reeve. It was so hard to utter the words that could pacify his son. But he knew Rainiel wouldn’t be satisfied.
Naramdaman na naman niya na isa siyang malaking talunan. Hindi niya alam kung paano kakausapin ang panganay.
“Bye, Kuya! Bye, Daddy! Drive safely!” Riana said sweetly.
Nilingon niya ito. Reeve tried to smile for his daughter. “Thank you, darling.” Yumuko siya at hinalikan ito sa pisngi. “Behave, all right? Help Grandma take care of Adam and Rade.”
Masunuring tumango si Riana.
Nang nasa loob na ng kotse sina Reeve at Rainiel ay pareho silang tahimik. While driving, hindi maalis ni Reeve sa isipan ang mga sinabi ng anak. He was too guilty. Napakalaki ng kasalanan niya sa kanyang panganay. He was ashamed to talk, to make things right between them. Sa tingin kasi niya ay lalo lang maiinis sa kanya ang anak kapag nagpumilit pa siya.
Malapit na sila sa eskuwelahan ni Rainiel nang magsalita ito.
“When is Mommy coming home?” he asked.
“Ahm…” Tumikhim siya. “M-maybe soon…”
“You’ve been telling that for eight months already. Is she really on vacation?”
Reeve was caught off guard. Matagal bago siya nakasagot. “O-of course. Of course. She just really needs a longer break.”
“Bakit hindi ka kasama?”
“Sa `kin niya kayo iniwan. Ako ang gusto niyang mag-alaga sa inyo.”
“You started staying in the house just last week. Hindi ka naman agad nag-stay sa house when Mommy left.”
“I-I’m sorry…” That was all he could manage to say. “I’m sorry, Rainiel…”
Tumingin ito sa labas ng bintana. “I wish Mommy was back. I already miss her.”
“Nandito naman ako, anak.”
Rainiel puffed. “Hindi ka naman si Mommy. Si Mommy lang dapat ang kasama namin kasi sa office ka lang, eh.”
And with that, Rainiel, again, managed to leave a painful mark in his heart. Hindi akalain ni Reeve na ganoon na nga katanda ang panganay. Rainiel just turned eight last June and he could freely say whatever he wanted to say. He was way too honest about his feelings at hindi niya masisisi ang anak sa nararamdaman nito.
Pagkatapat ng sasakyan sa school gate ay agad na bumaba si Rainiel.
“Anak—” tawag sana ni Reeve pero mabilis na itong nakababa. Isinara nito ang pinto ng kotse at tumakbo papasok sa loob ng gate.
Pinanood na lang niya si Rainiel habang naglalakad ito kasama ang mga kaibigan. They were all in their training uniforms.
Ano na ba ang susunod niyang gagawin? Uuwi na lang ba siya? Ibigay na lang ang oras na tinanggihan ni Raniel sa tatlo pang anak? At least Riana, Adam, and Rade wouldn’t slap him with his shortcomings…
Reeve stepped on the gas. Pero imbes na umuwi ay iniliko niya ang sasakyan papasok sa parking lot ng school. Kabisado niya ang eskuwelahan dahil doon din siya nag-aral ng grade school at high school. Ang nagbago lang siguro sa lugar ay ang kulay ng mga building. Mukhang bagong pintura ang mga iyon.
He felt nostalgic. He parked his car and walked his way to the soccer field. Bahagya siyang napangiti nang matanaw ang high school gym sa kabilang bakod. Doon siya madalas kaladkarin ni Prince kapag ayaw siyang samahan sa library.
Napatingala siya at natanaw ang pinto ng dating classroom. Then the corridors where Prince would quickly run because of the girls following him. Natanaw rin niya ang nakabukas na pinto ng dating classroom na pasimple niyang dinadaanan noon para lang masilip si Lana.
Hindi naman niya akalain na sa eskuwelahan ding iyon makikilala si Agatha. When he was in fourth year high school, he mistakenly kicked the soccer ball over to the other side of the fence. Bawal tumawid ang mga high school student sa grade school and vice versa—except if someone had a sibling on the other side. Siya ang kumuha ng bola habang nagbabantay si Prince para masigurong walang makakita sa pagtawid niya sa grade school.
Coincidently, si Agatha pala ang natamaan niya ng bola. She was just a fifth grader at the time. Agatha admitted that since then, she liked him. Na nadala nito iyon hanggang sa pagdadalaga. She only liked one guy, dreamed of one man… and it was him. How lucky could he get? Hindi nga niya ito kilala.
And when their marriage was arranged by their parents, Reeve was able to trust in love once again. Nang akala niya ay wala nang makakapantay kay Lana, humigit pa si Agatha. Nang akala niya ay magiging galit na lang siya sa mundo, ipinakita sa kanya ng asawa kung gaano talaga iyon kaganda.
Agatha was all the vibrant colors in his once dull life. She was the sweetest thing during the bitterest days of his life.
Huminga nang malalim si Reeve, pinigil ang pagbuhos ng emosyon. Naghihintay pa rin siya hanggang ngayon ng positibong report mula sa kinuhang imbestigador. One day, magkasama sila ng asawa na babalik dito sa Saved by Grace Academy. They would reminisce together.
Naputol ang pag-iisip ni Reeve sa asawa nang makarinig siya ng pagpito. Pagtingin niya sa soccer field ng grade schoolers ay nagsimula nang mag-practice ang mga ito.
Mas lumapit siya pero wala siyang intensiyon na magpakita kay Rainiel. Baka mainis pa ito na hindi siya sumunod. Nagtago siya sa likod ng isang puno habang pinapanood ang anak.
Tumatakbo lang ang mga bata paikot sa field. They were doing some foot dribbles and kicks. Napapangiti si Reeve habang pinapanood ang anak.
Rainiel was already good at dribbling for his age! Pagkatapos ay sisipain nito ang bola at sa lahat ng bata roon ay ito ang may pinakamataas at pinakamalayong sipa.
Hindi alam ni Reeve kung gaano siya katagal na nagtatago sa likod ng puno habang tahimik na pinapanood ang anak. Nang mag-water break ang mga ito ay sinusundan pa rin niya ng tingin ang anak.
Rainiel’s other teammates went to their mothers, and even fathers. Parang may pumiga sa puso ni Reeve nang makitang si Rainiel lang ang nag-aasikaso sa sarili. Habang inaasikaso ng ibang mga magulang ang anak ng mga ito, mag-isang pinupunasan ni Rainiel ang pawis. Kinuha rin nito ang malaking water jug at uminom mula roon. He was sitting alone in a corner.
Hati ang nararamdaman ni Reeve habang nakamasid sa anak. He was proud of his son. Rainiel was too independent for his age. Pero may isang bahagi niya ang nalulungkot dahil hindi naman kailangang mapag-isa ang kanyang anak. Nandoon naman siya, kahit pa wala si Agatha.
Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. Lalapit na sana siya pero muling pumito ang coach, tanda ng pagbabalik ng mga bata sa practice.
Tumayo si Rainiel at tumakbo pabalik sa field kasama ang mga kalaro.
Ball dodging at blocking naman ang ginagawa ng mga ito. He saw Rainiel smiling. He obviously enjoyed what he was doing. Pinanood at tinitigan niya nang mabuti ang anak. Alam niya na kamukha niya si Rainiel. His firstborn was his spitting image, his parents would always say. At ngayon niya iyon mas napatunayan. Every day, Raniel grew exactly like him.
Sa lahat ng anak niya ay si Rainiel ang pinakauna niyang minahal. Rainiel was conceived while he was gladly falling in love with Agatha. For him, Rainiel symbolized more than the love that Agatha gave him. He was the clear explanation of why everything happen for a reason and he was the most beautiful reason.
“Snack break!” sigaw ng coach pagkatapos pumito. “Good job, boys! We’ll continue after thirty minutes!”
Umalis na ang mga kasama ni Rainiel sa field. Nagkanya-kanyang lapit sa kanya-kanyang magulang. Raniel was left there, kicking the ball towards the goal.
Gustong-gusto na niyang lapitan ang anak. Halatang may kinikimkim itong sama ng loob sa kanya. Gusto niya itong makausap uli. Gusto niyang ipaalam kay Raniel na handa siyang bumawi sa lahat ng mga pagkukulang niya rito. Kahit ano ay gagawin niya makabawi lang.
Bumili muna ng pagkain si Reeve para sa anak. Alam niyang may baon ito pero baka mas gusto nito ng novelty snack. He bought a footlong and a large cup of iced tea.
“Rainiel,” tawag niya nang makalapit siya sa gilid ng field.
Agad itong napatingin sa kanya at nanlaki ang mga mata. “Daddy!”
He gently smiled at him. “Come. Let’s eat.” Itinaas niya ang biniling pagkain para dito.
Lumabi ito at pawis na pawis na lumapit sa kanya.
“I told you not to watch me.”
Niyuko niya ito. “Oh, I didn’t watch. I just brought you some snacks. And it looks like I’m right on time.”
Rainiel looked at him suspiciously. Reeve could lie without being obvious. He was a businessman after all. Nginitian niya ang anak. “Aalis na ako pagkatapos mong kumain.”
Tumango si Rainiel at nauna nang tumakbo papunta sa mga gamit nito. Sinundan niya ito. Umupo siya sa damuhan. Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Rainiel.
Ibinigay niya rito ang footlong at iced tea. Rainiel hastily sipped the drink using a straw. Mukhang uhaw na uhaw ito. Inabot ni Reeve ang bag nito at kinuha ang face towel.
Napatingin ito sa kanya nang punasan niya ang noo nitong may namuong pawis. Sumunod ay nilagyan niya ng bimpo ang likod nito.
“What are you doing?” Rainiel asked, the straw lodged in between his lips.
“Baka matuyuan ka ng pawis.”
Iniiwas nito ang tingin sa kanya. Kinagatan nito ang footlong. He munched on his food and sipped his drink right after.
“How’s practice?” pangungumusta niya kunwari para may mapag-usapan sila ng anak.
“Good.” Pagkasagot ay hindi na uli ito nagsalita.
“I used to play soccer when I was in high school. Your Ninong Prince wanted me to be athletic. Ayaw niyang nasa library lang ako.” Napangisi si Reeve nang maalalang kung nasaan si Prince ay dapat nandoon din siya. His friend used to drag him everywhere. Kulang na lang ay salihan nila ang lahat ng club sa school. Glee club, dance club, theater club, soccer club, book club, math club…
Prince was everybody’s friend. Habang siya ay… Si Prince lang ang kaibigan niya noon.
“I wasn’t a good player,” pagkukuwento pa niya. “I couldn’t run fast and most of the time, I just got tackled. But I knew how to strategize. I would talk to my team and tell them my observations and my calculations.”
Nang tumingin siya sa anak ay parang walang pakialam na inuubos lang nito ang pagkain.
Reeve sighed. Hinaplos niya ang buhok nito. “I bet you’re a good player. A goaler or a keeper, perhaps?”
Hindi ito umimik.
“Hey… won’t you talk to Daddy?”
Napangalahati na ni Rainiel ang footlong. “I’m full.” Naubos na rin nito ang iced tea. “I’m going back to practice. You can go, Daddy.”
“Sandali, anak…” Pinigilan niya ito sa braso. “Take a rest for a while. Wala pa namang signal ang coach.”
“But I want to play.”
“You’ll have a stomachache.”
Lumabi ito at napaupo sa damuhan. “Fine. I’ll just play with my phone.” Kinuha nito ang bag.
Pero bago pa nito makuha ang phone sa loob ay inilayo na iyon ni Reeve.
“Daddy!” protesta nito, magkasalubong ang mga kilay. “Give me my bag back!”
“Come on, I’m with you. At mas gusto mong maglaro sa phone mo? And when did you get a phone anyway?” When Reeve was eight, he didn’t even have a phone or a Game Boy.
“Grandpa and Grandma gave it to me so I can call them when I need them.”
“I see. But you don’t need them now. Kasama mo ako.”
Nalukot ang mukha nito. “You should be working, Daddy. That’s your job. You don’t have to be here. I don’t need you here! I can take care of myself!”
“Rainiel...” saway niya sa mababang tono. “You don’t talk to Daddy like that.”
Lumabi ito at tumalikod sa kanya. “Alis ka na, Daddy. Pick me up later. Ayokong nandito ka.”
“But why?” Pinaharap niya ito sa kanya. “I know I’ve been very busy. I’ve ignored you, unintentionally. And I’m very sorry, Rainiel,” emosyonal niyang sabi. “Let Daddy make it up to you. `Wag ka nang magtampo. Let’s catch up. It’s my Rainiel Time.”
“I’m okay. I know why you work because Mommy said, you work hard to buy me toys and also so I can be with my friends in school. And so we can live in a big house. Mag-work ka na lang, Daddy, kasi good ka doon. Hindi ka dapat dito. Dapat si Mommy lang.”
“I can be with you here too. I can take care of you.”
Matigas itong umiling. “No! Ayaw kitang kasama, Daddy! Mag-work ka na lang kasi mas love mo `yon!”
Tumakbo na si Rainiel palayo sa kanya. Humalo ito sa mga kalaro. Nahirapan siya na habulin pa ang anak. Besides, he was frozen by his son’s last remark.
Nanghihinang napatayo na lang si Reeve. Niligpit niya ang mga pinagkainan ng anak at ang bag nito. He stayed, though. Para din kasing nawalan na siya ng lakas na maglakad pagkatapos ng mga narinig.
By lunchtime, the practice ended. Nilapitan niya si Rainiel. “Change your clothes and then we’ll go home.” He still smiled lovingly at his son although Rainiel’s words were still piercing right through his heart.
Kinuha ni Raniel ang backpack mula sa kanya at kumuha ito ng shirt sa loob. Walang kahirap-hirap na nakapagpalit ito ng damit.
Siniguro muna ni Reeve na hindi na ito basa ng pawis bago niya binuksan ang aircon ng sasakyan.
Rainiel fastened his seat belt.
“Do you want us to eat out? For lunch...” yaya niya sa anak.
Humikab ito. “I just want to go home, Daddy. I want to sleep again.”
“You sure? We have the rest of the day. You want to play in the arcade perhaps?”
Umiling ito.
Napabuntong-hininga si Reeve. “Are you mad at me?” he asked softly.
“I said I’m okay.”
“But you also said ayaw mo `kong kasama. Why don’t you want Daddy to tag along?” malungkot niyang tanong.
“Wala ka naman all the time. It won’t make any difference. I’m used to not having you around, Daddy.”
“I’m sorry...” nagsisising sabi niya. “I promise I’ll spend more time with you, with Riana, and with the babies. I... Daddy has learned his lesson. Mas importante kayo kaysa sa trabaho.”
“I think work is more important because it makes you rich,” Rainiel innocently commented. “We can buy a lot of things when you work, Daddy. You should stick with work. Sanay naman na kami nina Mommy na wala ka sa house. At least, we have lots of money.”
“R-Rainiel...” Napailing siya. “Look, it’s not about us getting richer than we already are. I just thought that someday, the hotels, they would be yours. I thought I was making a legacy for our family.”
But the true mark of a great family was the love, attention, and affection that parents shared with their children and vice versa.
Rainiel looked at him, puzzled. Then a little smirk crossed his lips. “I wish Mommy was here already. I like talking to Mommy than you.”
“Rainiel, hindi ko na gusto kung paano ka sumagot sa akin. Mommy taught you how to respect parents and elders, am I right?”
Hindi ito sumagot.
“Rainiel, can you please talk to Daddy properly?”
Hindi pa rin ito umimik.
“Come on, let’s have some boy talk.”
Umingos ito. “I just don’t like talking to you.”
“Why? Do I annoy you?”
Hindi na naman ito umimik.
“Rainiel, talk to Daddy. You can say anything and everything to me. Just say it nicely,” he encouraged him.
“I don’t like to talk to you. Ang kulit-kulit mo naman, Daddy, eh!” Rainiel was pissed.
“You don’t use that tone, Rainiel. Not on me.”
Lumabi ito. “I don’t like to talk with you because you’re a liar.”
Gulat na napasulyap siya rito. “W-what?”
“You said you’d give me a birthday party this year, but you didn’t. Then Mommy’s not around. Hindi mo siya pinauwi. You didn’t attend my recognition day last year even when you promised you’d help me wear my medals. You didn’t come to my first soccer game two years ago...” Rainiel sobbed. “Puro ka promise, Daddy. Hindi mo naman tinutupad. Liar ka naman.”
Reeve was, again, rendered speechless, guilty of all the accusations from his very own child. Nang umiyak ito sa loob ng kotse ay napahigpit ang paghawak niya sa manibela.
He knew how hurt Rainiel felt. He craved for his attention and time at masakit na masakit kapag hindi iyon naibigay. Reeve knew. Ganoon siya dati sa sariling ina. He craved his mother’s attention. Kahit walang ipinapangako sa kanya ang ina, nasasaktan siya kapag hindi siya nito napapansin. Paano pa si Rainiel na ilang beses nang nabigo sa mga pangako niya rito?
Nanginginig ang buong katawan ni Reeve sa sakit at galit sa sarili. He was not even aware that he had scarred Rainiel for a very long time now. Tahimik lang kasi ito at parang laging seryoso. He thought that Raniel was just a kid and he was cool with things. Yet... here they were…
Inihinto niya ang sasakyan sa tabi at niyakap ang anak. Tinanggal niya ang seat belt nito at kinandong ito.
Nangilid na ang luhang kanina pa niya pinipigilan sa pagpatak. Rainiel continued to cry.
Nayakap na lang niya ito nang mahigpit dahil sa totoo lang, wala na ring salitang gustong lumabas sa mga labi niya. Natatakot siyang kapag nagsalita pa siya ay lalo lang tumindi ang sakit na nararamdaman ng panganay na anak.
“I hate you, Daddy,” umiiyak na bulong nito. “I hate you...”
Hinigpitan pa niya ang pagkakayakap sa anak kahit nagsimula na itong magpumiglas. Reeve held back his tears harder. “No... Don’t say that...”
Rainiel cried harder. “Bad kang daddy! Hindi mo kami pinapansin! We always wait but we can’t see you! You make Mommy cry!!!”
Reeve gasped for air. “I-I made Mommy... c-cry?”
“I saw her crying last year! You forgot your anniversary!”
Nagimbal si Reeve. Damn it! Anniversary! He could not remember if he greeted Agatha last year. Anniversary... anniversary... Did he... really... forget...?
Tuluyan nang nakakawala si Rainiel sa yakap niya. Umiiyak na pumunta ito sa likuran ng kotse.
“I wanna go home!” Rainiel demanded.
Hindi alam ni Reeve kung saan pa siya kumuha ng lakas para makapagmaneho nang tama hanggang sa makauwi sila.
Hindi na umiiyak si Rainiel nang bumaba ito ng sasakyan at patakbong pumasok sa bahay. Pagbaba naman niya ay tulala siya.
The lesson he had learned from his firstborn was that children would hold tightly to a promise. They would remember. They would look forward to it. And when you failed them, it would leave a little scar that a parent wouldn’t even notice.
Sa kaso ni Reeve, nagkapatong-patong ang mga pangakong hindi natupad. Rainiel’s scars were all over and Reeve wouldn’t know if he didn’t blurt it out earlier.
“Anak, may problema ba kay Rainiel? He’s grumpy,” tanong ng kanyang mama pagpasok niya sa bahay. Hinawakan siya nito sa magkabilang pisngi. “Namumula ang mga mata mo. A-ano’ng nangyari?”
Huminga siya nang malalim at umiling lang. “Where are the other kids?”
“Rade is sleeping. Hinayaan ko rin munang manood ng cartoons sina Riana at Adam sa kuwarto mo. Hijo, are you really fine?”
Tumango lang si Reeve. “I can take it from here, Mama. You can take a rest. Ako na’ng bahala sa mga bata...” matamlay niyang sabi.
May gusto pa sigurong sabihin ang mama niya pero nanahimik na lang ito. Tinapos lang nito ang nilutong tanghalian. They ate lunch with Riana and Adam. Hindi sumabay si Rainiel dahil nakatulog ito.
Nang maghapunan na ay si Reeve at ang mga anak na lang niya ang nagsalo. Rainiel did not want to eat—or rather, he didn’t want to face him.
“Daddy, why is Kuya Rain grumpy?” nagtatakang tanong ni Riana.
Nginitian niya ito. “Just finish your food. I’ll give you ice cream for dessert.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Did Ninang CJ made me some strawberry ice cream?”
“She did. Finish your dinner, all right?”
Tapos na ring kumain si Rade at ngayon ay umiinom na ng gatas sa crib. Si Adam naman ay patapos na sa pagkain ng prutas.
After a while, they heard tiny footsteps from the stairs. Walang ekspresyon ang mukha ni Rainiel. Umupo ito sa puwesto nito sa mesa.
Iniabot ni Reeve sa anak ang kanin at ulam. Ipinagsalin din niya ito ng juice sa baso.
“Good evening, Kuya!” magiliw na bati ni Riana. “How are you, Kuya? Did you sleep well?”
Tumango lang si Rainiel at tahimik na kumain.
“Kuya, we’ll have ice cream later, Daddy said.”
Tumango lang uli ito.
Nang matapos nang kumain si Riana ay ikinuha niya ito ng isang bowl ng ice cream. Nanatiling nakabantay siya sa mga anak.
Marahan niyang hinaplos ang pisngi ni Rainiel. The dried tears left a mark on his face. Tiningnan siya nito nang matalim. Inilayo nito ang mukha at itinuloy ang pagkain.
Napabuga na lang si Reeve ng hangin.
“Riana, would you like to share your ice cream with Adam?” tanong niya sa anak na babae.
“Yes!”
Binuhat niya si Adam paalis ng high chair. “Go to the playmat. Feed Adam some ice cream. Don’t make a mess, all right?”
“Yes, Daddy!” Riana excitedly picked up her ice cream bowl and followed him to the living room.
Ibinaba niya si Adam sa playmat. Umupo rin doon si Riana at sinimulan nang subuan si Adam.
Bumalik si Reeve sa hapag-kainan. Malapit nang matapos kumain si Rainiel. Ikinuha niya ito ng ice cream.
Tahimik na umupo siya sa harap ng anak. Rainiel was talented at ignoring him. Hinayaan na lang muna niya ito. Siya naman ang may mali.
Pagkatapos na maubos ang ice cream nang hindi siya iniimik ay umakyat na uli ito sa itaas.
“Daddy, Daddy!” Riana called. “Adam and Rade should sleep in Kuya Rain’s room tonight. I remember Mommy said they should have some boys’ bonding!”
“I see. I’ll move the cribs later. You want to watch a movie?”
“Yes!” nakangiting sagot nito.
Reeve managed to spend a peaceful and fun movie time with three of his kids. Nang oras na nang pagtulog ay inilipat na niya ang crib nina Adam at Rade sa kuwarto ni Rainiel.
Natagpuan niya ang kanyang panganay na tahimik na naglalaro gamit ang smartphone.
“Riana said Adam and Rade should sleep with their kuya tonight.”
Tumango lang si Raniel.
Reeve finished setting up the cribs. Sumunod ay inilagay na niya sina Adam at Rade sa kanya-kanyang crib.
Binigyan niya ng tig-isang bote ng gatas ang mga anak. That would do the magic so they could easily fall asleep.
“Did you brush your teeth?” tanong niya kay Rainiel habang hinihintay na makatulog si Rade.
“Yes,” Rainiel answered coldly.
Napabuntong-hininga si Reeve. Lumabas muna siya ng kuwarto para i-check si Riana. His darling was sleeping soundly already.
Pagbalik niya sa kuwarto ni Rainiel ay nakatutok pa rin ito sa phone.
“Son, it’s time for bed.”
Hindi siya nito pinansin.
“Rainiel.”
He was really hardheaded. Did he spoil him too much before? Naalala niyang sinasaway pa siya ni Agatha noong baby pa si Rainiel dahil lagi niyang ibinibigay agad ang gusto ng panganay. And when he grew up… Reeve did not know anymore. Akala niya ay kay Raniel siya pinakamadadalian dahil naranasan niyang alagaan ito noong baby pa. But then again, he was the eldest, the smartest, and Reeve had hurt him.
“Rainiel, please stop playing. It’s time for bed.”
Tumigil na ang sounds mula sa nilalaro nito. Pero nanatili itong nakatitig sa phone.
“Rainiel.” Kinuha niya ang phone. “I know you’re mad but it’s not an excuse to be rude.”
His son’s lips turned downwards. “I hate you, Daddy.”
Narinig na niya iyon kanina pero masakit pa ring marinig uli.
“Raniel, Daddy won’t give you false promises from now on. Believe me, I’ll try my best. H-hindi naman liar si Daddy…” His voice broke.
“Nasaan si Mommy?”
“She’s on a vacation, right? She’ll be back so—”
“Liar! I know Mommy is missing! She’s been in an accident! You’re a liar! Liar!” Tumayo ito sa kama at hinampas-hampas siya.
Walang naisagot si Reeve. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. How did Rainiel…?
“See? You’re lying to me again! Liar!” sigaw nito.
Nanghihinang napaluhod siya sa harap ng anak.
“I hate you! I don’t love you anymore, Daddy! Bring back Mommy first!” iyak ni Rainiel.
Adam cried next, followed by Rade.
Hearing and seeing all his boys cry, Reeve gave in, too. He just didn’t know what to do anymore. Hugging Rainiel who continued to push him away, hearing Adam and Rade cried in unison, Reeve’s shoulders started to shake.
Napahinto sa pagpupumiglas si Rainiel nang hindi na niya napigilang mapahagulhol din.
He cried for his children’s little scars. He cried because he was the one who put those marks in their innocent hearts.