Chapter One
*The love you fail to see,
once unveiled, the heart is free,
you have it along,
more than one blessing from Thee.*
June 2022
REEVE was like in a dream. No. This was really a dream. He was in the middle of nowhere. Kahit saan siya lumingon ay pulos luntiang damo at nagtataasang bundok ang nakikita niya sa paligid. He knew this was a dream because there was no way he would end up in this kind of place. He was a city guy. He was never fond of what looked like a rural place…
Umihip ang napakalakas na hangin. Ipinikit niya ang mga mata at huminga nang malalim. If this was a dream, then he could just think of whatever he liked to see, and that thing would appear. He could do that, couldn’t he?
May kung anong kumuyom sa puso niya. Agatha… He missed his wife so much.
“Reeve…”
Oh, what the power of dream could do. Napangiti siya sa boses na ipagpapalit niya ang lahat marinig lang muli.
Iminulat niya ang mga mata at unang bumungad sa kanya ang maamong mukha ng asawa. Agatha was smiling sweetly, like she always did.
“Too tired from work?” she asked.
Tumakbo siya at niyakap ito nang mahigpit. “Please come home, sweetheart. Life is hard without you.”
“But I’m home with you.”
Damang-dama niya ang haplos ng malalambot nitong kamay. Gusto niyang isipin na hindi na lang sana ito panaginip.
“Please, please…” he begged. “Come home.”
Kumawala si Agatha sa yakap niya. Inilapat nito ang kamay sa kaliwang dibdib niya. “As long as I’m in your heart, I’m never gone, Reeve.”
“I want to kiss you, touch you, make love with you. I promise I’ll change. Hinding-hindi ko na uunahin ang kahit ano. Ikaw na lang… ikaw na lang, sweetheart. Ikaw lang…” he desperately said. Humigpit ang pagkakahapit niya sa baywang nito.
Tiningnan lang siya nito nang may awa sa mga mata.
“K-kung hindi ka makakauwi, then… just take me with you…” he whispered, voice breaking because of too much emotion. His heart could handle the pain no more. “Isama mo `ko kung nasaan ka. I can’t wake up every day without you anymore.”
“How about the kids, Reeve?”
Natigilan siya. Suddenly, the green grass and tall mountains faded in the background. Agatha remained in front of him but he couldn’t touch her!
“Agatha!”
“Rainiel, Riana, Adam, and Rade… how about them, Reeve? Aren’t they enough reason for you to stay?”
Hindi siya makasagot. Ngayon lang niya naalala ang mga anak. It was like it was his first time to realize that he was already a father to four children.
“Agatha!”
Unti-unting nawala ang imahen nito. Reeve screamed and tried to hold her back. But when his wife’s image was gone, his children appeared one by one.
His youngest, Rade. Then Adam.
His only girl, Riana, appeared behind the babies.
Then his firstborn, Rainiel. Lahat ng mga ito ay malungkot ang mga matang nakatingin sa kanya.
Napakurap si Reeve.
“You want to go with Mommy?” Rainiel asked. Ang mga kilay nito ay magkasalubong. Galit. “Iiwan mo kami? Then you don’t love us enough! That’s why Mommy’s gone! You don’t love us enough to make time for us!”
“No!” That’s not true! Reeve worked hard for his children’s future! Para sa mga ito ang lahat ng ginagawa niya. He was securing a comfortable life for them until they grew old. Lumuhod siya sa harap ng kanyang panganay. “Listen to Daddy, Rainiel. I love you.”
“I hate you, Daddy!” malakas na sigaw nito. “I hate you! I hate you!”
Reeve gasped for air at the same time his eyes opened. Lumusot ang liwanag ng araw sa bintana. Bumangon siya at naupo sa gilid ng kama. Napahilot siya sa sentido. Hindi niya alam kung paano pa siya nakakatulog. But ever since Agatha went missing, he never had a decent sleep. O kung may matino man ay napupuno rin iyon ng mga panaginip. At katulad sa realidad, masakit din ang bawat panaginip.
Napangiti siya nang mapait. Both the real and imaginary world conspired to make him feel the pain, every bit of it.
Napatingin si Reeve sa picture frame ng asawa na nakapatong sa bedside table. Inabot niya iyon at tinitigan.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he whispered. Eight months had passed… Huminga siya nang malalim at ibinalik ang frame sa ibabaw ng bedside table.
Tumayo si Reeve at isinara ang makapal na kurtina. The whole room was engulfed by darkness. But he was able to walk without tripping until he reached the door. Maybe it was a talent. Sa sobrang dilim na ng kanyang mundo mula nang mawala si Agatha, kaya na niyang gumalaw roon. Kahit wala nang liwanag. Dahil wala na si Agatha.
“Daddy!”
Reeve looked down and saw his daughter, walking with a bright smile in her small face. “Good morning, Daddy!” Ibinuka nito ang mga braso at tumakbo palapit sa kanya.
He smiled at his daughter. Nahiling niyang sana ay may buhay iyon sa paningin nito. Lumuhod siya at sinalubong ang yakap ng anak. “Good morning, darling.” Hinalikan niya ito sa pisngi. “Are your brothers awake?”
“Yes,” tango nito. “Grandma is here already, Daddy. She’s feeding Adam and Rade because Grandma said babies need their special milk from mommies! Grandma has milk that came from Tita Saphi and Tita Haley.”
His sons still needed breast milk. His female cousins had been generous to share their breast milk for Adam who was just two and Rade who just turned one three months ago. Minsan, kapag bumibisita sina Crystal Jane at Lavender, they let his sons have some breast milk, sucking straight from them.
Bumabawi rin ang mama niya sa kanya sa pamamagitan ng pag-aalaga sa kanyang mga anak tuwing nasa trabaho siya. Hindi siya kumuha ng nanny dahil naalala niyang ayaw ni Agatha niyon. Hindi dahil wala itong tiwala kundi gusto ng asawang sa kanila lumaki ang mga anak.
Agatha had been hands-on on everything. She knew everything about their children—from the things they loved most to the things they greatly disapproved of. Si Agatha ang laging kasama ng mga bata.
She even gave up her dream to be a professional pianist just to be the greatest wife and mother she could ever be.
“Daddy, ihahatid mo po kami ni Kuya Raniel sa school?”
Tumango siya at binuhat si Riana. “You have to get ready then. Did you have breakfast already?”
“Yes! Paliliguan ako ni Grandma after Adam and Rade finished their milk.”
“Ako na lang ang magpapaligo sa `yo.”
Nanlaki ang mga mata nito at todo iling. “No, Daddy! I’m a girl. Mommy said no boys can enter my bathroom with me.”
Bahagyang natawa si Reeve. Sana ay may buhay rin iyon sa pandinig ng kanyang anak. “You’re just five. Puwede ka pang paliguan ni Daddy.”
“No, no, no, no, no.”
Fine, fine. “How about your Kuya Rainiel?”
Itinuro nito ang nakabukas na pinto ng kuwarto ni Rainiel. “Kuya finished his breakfast already. He took a bath by himself because he said he can take a shower alone. He promised not to swim in the bathtub. Para hindi magalit si Grandma.”
Biglang nalito si Reeve kung ano ang uunahing gawin. Pupuntahan ba niya si Rainiel para mapaliguan ito nang maayos o bababa siya para mabati ang ina at makumusta ang dalawa pang anak?
“Daddy, punta ka kay Kuya Rainiel. Check if he’s ready to go to school, sabi ni Grandma.”
Napatingin si Reeve sa buhat na anak. Halata ba sa mukha niya ang iniisip?
“You know what I should do, darling,” namamanghang puri niya kay Riana. “You’re like Mommy.”
Ngumiti ito, her dimples showing. “I want to be like Mommy because she’s pretty and sweet, and very very nice. She always knows what to do.”
Napahinto si Reeve saglit. He held his emotions. He couldn’t cry during the morning. He usually did it at night when nobody was watching, when everyone was asleep.
He kissed his little darling’s temple. “I’ll check on your Kuya Rainiel. You go to your room and prepare your uniform. Can you do that, darling?”
“Mm-hmm,” tango ni Riana.
Ibinaba niya ang anak at agad itong tumakbo papasok sa sariling kuwarto. At five, Riana was already responsible enough to take care of herself, her siblings, and if Reeve would lose his sanity, his daughter might take care of him too.
“Rainiel?” katok niya sa nakabukas nang pinto ng kuwarto nito. Pumasok siya at narinig ang lagaslas ng shower.
Tumungo siya sa bathroom at nakitang nakabukas ang shower. Nakatayo ang anak sa bathtub na puno na ng tubig. Pinaglalaruan nito iyon.
Napatingin ito sa kanya. His black eyes widened. “Daddy! I’m taking a bath! Bastos ka.” His little hands even covered his little willy.
Natawa siya at nilapitan ito. Yumuko siya sa tabi ng bathtub at pinatay ang shower. “You’re playing in the water. You’ll be late for school.” Inabot niya ang shampoo. He put the right amount on his palm and started to massage it over Rainiel’s hair.
Biglang naalala ni Reeve ang panaginip. Napabuntong-hininga siya at sinilip ang anak na tahimik lang habang pinapaliguan niya. “Rainiel.”
“Hmm?”
“You… you love Daddy, right?” maingat niyang tanong.
Tumango ito. “But I love Mommy more.”
Reeve smirked. Hindi naman sumama ang kanyang loob doon. Who wouldn’t love Agatha more? He even loved Agatha more than he loved himself.
“I’m sorry, son.”
Tumingala ito sa kanya, nakapikit ang mga mata para hindi malagyan ng shampoo. “Why, Daddy?”
“Because I couldn’t spend a lot of time with you, Riana, Adam, and Rade before. I was always working. Daddy is sorry, anak. But I always work hard for y-you.” Naagapan naman niya ang pagkabasag ng boses.
“You work hard so you’ll be able to buy me toys, Daddy?”
“Y-yes.” He reached for the handheld shower and gently washed away the shampoo on Rainiel’s hair.
Inabot niya ang tuwalya nito pagkatapos.
“I can dry myself, Daddy. It’s okay.” Hinila nito ang tuwalya mula sa kanya. “I’m already a big boy.”
Habang pinapanood si Raniel, noon lang napagtanto ni Reeve na ang huling natatandaan niya na nakasama ang anak ay noong sinusubuan pa niya ito palagi ng pagkain. Three years old pa lang ito noon. What happened to the four years that passed? Paanong araw-araw siyang umuuwi sa bahay pero hindi napansin ang paglaki ng anak?
Rainiel was his first child. He had been very attentive and very careful with him. That was why he was a lot more spoiled than Riana.
Inalalayan niya si Rainiel palabas ng banyo para hindi ito madulas. Nakahanda na ang school uniform nito sa ibabaw ng kama.
Aabutin sana niya ang uniform para isuot sa anak nang itulak nito ang kanyang kamay. “Daddy, I can do this alone.” His little hands were trying to push him out of the room.
Hindi alam ni Reeve ang gagawin. He couldn’t insist on helping his seven-year-old son. “Rainiel…”
“Go away na, Daddy.” Tumalikod si Rainiel at lumapit na uli sa kinaroroonan ng uniform nito.
Napabuntong-hininga na lang si Reeve. “Call me if you need my help.”
“Okay.”
Lumabas na siya ng kuwarto. Eksaktong nakasalubong niya ang ina na kaaakyat pa lang.
“Good morning, anak,” bati nito sa kanya at hinalikan siya sa pisngi. “Kumusta? Handa na ba si Rainiel?”
“Mama…” Napalingon na lang siya sa kuwarto ng panganay. “Tapos nang maligo si Rainiel. Ayaw na niyang magpatulong sa pagsusuot ng uniform.”
Ngumiti ito. “I see. Your boy’s growing up fast, Reeve. Anyway, I’ll go and bathe Riana. Ikaw na muna ang bahala sa dalawa mo pang anak sa `baba.”
Napatango na lang siya at agad na bumaba ng hagdan. Reeve saw his two sons sitting on their high chairs. Adam was munching on some fruits while Rade was playing with some animal toys.
Isang taon lang ang pagitan ng dalawa kaya pareho pang mga sanggol kung tutuusin.
Lumapit siya sa dalawa at hinalikan sa pisngi ang mga ito.
“Daddy!”
Napatingin siya kay Adam.
“Fruits!” turo nito sa kinakain. “Apple. Banana…”
Napabuntong-hininga siya nang may mapagtanto na naman. Adam could clearly speak more than one syllable-words. But what was his first word? When did he learn to speak? When did he learn to munch his own food? Kailan tumubo ang mga ngipin nito?
“Da, da, da!”
Naagaw ni Rade ang atensiyon niya. He mumbled something that even he couldn’t understand. He blinked twice. When did Rade learn to sit up straight in a high chair? When did he start to try to speak?
Nanghihina ang mga tuhod na napaupo si Reeve sa upuan. Lagi siyang umuuwi sa bahay. Araw-araw niyang nakikita ang mga anak. Pero bakit hindi niya nasaksihan ang mga pagbabago sa mga ito? Bakit hindi niya nakita ang paglaki ng mga anak?
When did he stop being a father to them?
“How about the kids, Reeve?” Agatha asked in his dream.
He was too focused on work that he lost Agatha. And now, if he kept on thinking that he couldn’t live without Agatha, he might… he might lose his children too!
Terrified, Reeve caged his two little boys inside his arms. His shoulders started to shake. He couldn’t wait for the night to come just to hide his tears. He was too crushed with the reality—a reality that resulted from his shortcomings, not just as a husband but also as a father.
And he had been stumbling over Agatha’s disappearance that he was on the verge of forgetting to take care of his children as well.
Was this the reason the tragedy had to happen? Kailangan bang mawala muna si Agatha bago niya ma-realize ang mga pagkukulang bilang ama?
“Daddy, we’re ready for school!”
Agad na napatuwid ng upo si Reeve at mabilis na pinahid ang mga luha. Muli niyang binigyan ng tig-isang halik sa bumbunan ang dalawang maliliit pang anak. Babawi siya sa mga ito.
“Daddy, why are you not in your office suit yet?” tanong ni Rainiel nang makita siya. Magkasalubong ang mga kilay nito. “We’re gonna be late.”
“Nahirapan ka bang bantayan sina Adam at Rade, Reeve?” tanong ng kanyang mama na buhat ang schoolbag nina Rainiel at Riana. “Hindi ka pa nakahanda at nakakain. Gusto mong ako muna ang maghatid sa mga bata?”
“No, Mama. I’ll take care of the kids.”
Concern shadowed her eyes. “Are you sure?”
Tumango si Reeve. Tinitigan niya ang mga anak. He had been thinking of Agatha for the last eight months. He was physically present, wallowing in darkness, thinking that finding Agatha would bring back the light.
Pero hindi lang pala si Agatha ang may hawak ng liwanag sa buhay niya. His children were holding it for him too.
And without their mother, he was the one his children were depending on. He should be the one holding the light for them, guiding them, taking good care of them in the real sense of the word while Agatha was still away.
Lumapit sa kanya si Riana at yumakap sa baywang niya. Her hair was tied in pigtails and she was wearing her cute pink uniform. “Daddy, are you okay? If you’re not feeling well, you can take a rest. Okay lang kung si Grandma ang magte-take sa `min sa school. Sasama namin si Adam and si Rade para maka-sleep ka pa uli, Daddy.”
“Daddy, sleep!” Ikiniling ni Adam ang ulo nito at pumikit. “Daddy sleep. Daddy strong!”
Strong. How could he be strong enough for his children? Parang naubos na ang lakas niya sa walong buwang paghahanap kay Agatha. Hindi siya susuko. He refused to give up. It was never an option.
Naramdaman niyang hinila siya patayo ng kanyang ina. “Magpahinga ka pa, anak. Huwag ka munang magtrabaho. Kahit ngayong araw lang.”
Natagpuan na lang ni Reeve ang sariling nagpapahila sa ina hanggang sa kuwarto nila ni Agatha.
“I know it’s been very hard for you, Reeve. Huwag ka munang magtrabaho nang ilang buwan.”
“But the hotels…”
“Your father and your father-in-law decided to work on your behalf. They are willing to go back to work for a while.” Humarap ang mama niya sa kanya at itinulak siya sa balikat, paupo sa gilid ng kama. “Anak, alam naming lahat kung gaano mo kamahal si Agatha. But you can’t do it all at once—working, looking for her, and taking care of your children.”
Parang nawala sa sarili si Reeve. Napatulala na lang siya sa wedding portrait nila ni Agatha na nakasabit sa dingding sa ulunan ng kama.
Ikinulong ng mama niya sa mga palad nito ang kanyang mukha. “Reeve, ngayong wala pa si Agatha, ikaw ang kailangan ng mga anak mo. Ang buong atensiyon at oras mo. Give it to them. Sila naman ang piliin mo sa panahong ito,” mahinahon nitong sabi. “Your father can handle the hotels. Leave it to him and Philip. Nag-hire na rin ng private investigators ang mga Anderson. Let the investigators do their job without pressuring them too much. Leave it to them.”
“Mama—”
“Focus on your children. You still have them, Reeve. Huwag mong hayaang pati sila ay mawala sa paraang lumayo ang loob nila sa `yo.” She used her strict voice.
Hot tears flowed quickly from his eyes. Napayuko siya at humagulhol na sa harap ng ina.
MAY NAPAGTANTO si Reeve. Wala talaga silang ibang kasama sa bahay dahil bukod sa hindi kumuha ng nanny si Agatha para sa mga bata, wala rin silang kasambahay. Kung ganoon, sino ang naglilinis ng bahay? Sino ang naghuhugas ng mga pinggan? Ang naglalaba ng mga damit?
Napalingon siya kay Adam na tahimik na naglalaro sa children’s mat na nakalatag sa sala. Tulog naman si Rade sa crib nito.
Nabilinan na siya ng ina kanina kung nasaan ang mga pagkain at gatas ng kanyang mga anak. Pati na rin kung anong oras pakakainin ang mga ito.
“I’m home— Daddy?” gulat na sambit ni Riana nang makita siya.
He squatted to be at eye level with her. “How was school, darling?”
“School was fine! I read two paragraphs without Teacher Maggie’s help!”
“Great job, darling.” He knew she was advanced for her age. “Where’s Grandma, by the way?” Sinabihan siya ng mama niya kanina na ito na muna ang bahalang maghatid-sundo kina Rainiel at Riana hanggang sa maka-adjust siya sa mga gawain sa bahay.
“She just dropped me off kasi susunduin pa niya si Kuya Rainiel.” Tumakbo si Riana at yumakap sa kanya. “Sabi ni Grandma, I’ll be happy because someone is waiting here. Akala ko si Mommy. Pero happy din po ako na ikaw. You’re home early, Daddy. Wala kang many works?”
Hinalikan niya ang anak sa pisngi. “For now, Daddy will stay in the house until Mommy comes back.” Hindi niya alam kung kailan iyon pero tama ang kanyang mama. Habang hindi pa natatagpuan si Agatha ay kailangan siya ng kanyang mga anak.
At kahit pa may mga taong handang tumulong para alagaan ang mga ito, his presence was still needed so that he wouldn’t lose his children’s affection and attention.
Giving up his job for a while was the hardest thing to do because ever since, work had been a big part of his system. Pero iyon din ang naging rason ng mga pagkukulang niya sa asawa, lalo na sa mga bata.
“It’s okay for you to stay in the house, Daddy? Sabi ni Mommy before, kaya ka daw laging nagwo-work para lagi tayong may food.”
“We have enough money, darling, don’t you worry.”
He checked his and Agatha’s family savings in the bank. Nagulat si Reeve dahil ngayon lang din niya nalaman na napakarami na pala nilang naipon sa mga nakalipas na taon. Hindi pa kasama roon ang personal niyang pera at ari-arian na ibinigay sa kanya ng ama. Kung tutuusin, puwede na siyang hindi magtrabaho at maibibigay pa rin ang lahat ng kailangan—kahit luho pa—ng kanyang mga anak.
“How about the people in the hotel, Daddy? Mommy also said that you work hard so you can give people jobs. Magkaka-work sila, Daddy, kasi binibigyan mo sila ng work and they’ll be able to buy food for their family.”
Napakurap si Reeve. Agatha had been giving their children good reasons kung bakit siya laging nasa trabaho. His wife was protecting his image to their children, kahit na ang katotohanan ay isa lang siyang overachiever. A workaholic monster. He just wanted his hotels to be at the top.
“They will still have their jobs, darling. Your g randpa Roman and your Lolo Philip will be the one managing the hotels. Meanwhile, Daddy will stay at home to make sure you are all okay.”
Nasaksihan ni Reeve ang pagningning ng mga mata ni Riana. She smiled, dimples showing. “You will be like Mommy muna while she’s still on vacation?”
Nahirapan si Reeve na lumunok pero pinilit niyang tumango. He could never fill Agatha’s shoes. Napakahirap niyon dahil sa tingin niya ay wala nang hihigit pa kay Agatha sa pagiging magulang. But he would do everything he could.
“I’m happy, Daddy! We can be with you now.”
“But I’m always with you, darling.” Lagi siyang umuuwi sa bahay. Unless he needed to go on a business trip.
“But we don’t have a loooooong time together, Daddy. It’s always short. But it’s okay.” Nginitian pa uli siya ni Riana para siguruhin sa kanya na hindi ito nagtatampo. “Now, you will always be here in the house! We can play longer. Kuya Rainiel will be glad too!”
Mamayang tanghali pa ang uwian ni Rainiel. He was in second grade at half-day lang ang pasok. Riana was still in prep, tatlong oras lang ang pasok nito araw-araw.
“Let’s change your clothes,” yaya niya sa anak.
“I can change my own clothes, Daddy.” Lumayo na si Riana sa kanya.
Napakurap siya. “Are you sure?”
“Mm-hmm,” tango nito at saka mabilis na umakyat sa hagdan.
Sinundan niya ng tingin si Riana hanggang sa makaakyat ito nang maayos. Umupo siya sa tabi ni Adam na naglalaro nang mag-isa. “Are you okay? You like playing alone, little boy.”
“Vroom… vroom!” Lumayo ito sa kanya habang itinutulak ang laruang de-baterya. Pagkatapos ay bumalik din ito sa tabi niya at itinulak pa ang ibang laruang de-baterya at kotse-kotsehan.
Hinaplos ni Reeve ang buhok ni Adam. Then he sighed. Wala siyang gaanong alam tungkol kay Adam. Suddenly, he felt like a stranger to his own son. Pilit niyang hinalungkat sa isip kung ano ang mga gusto at ayaw nito. But… but he wasn’t there while Adam was growing up.
Habang tahimik na pinapanood si Adam ay narinig niya ang pag-iyak ni Rade. Agad siyang tumayo at binuhat ang anak mula sa crib. Good thing he still remembered how to carry and soothe a crying baby. Nagawa niya iyon kina Rainiel at Riana noon.
Napatingin na naman siya kay Adam at pagkatapos ay kay Rade. Damn it! He couldn’t remember a time he was able to coo them.
Rade rested his head on his shoulder, still crying. Reeve gently rubbed his back. May pilit itong sinasabi pero wala siyang maintindihan
“What do you want, baby?” masuyo niyang tanong. “Do you want to eat? To play?” Kinapa niya ang diaper nito. Hindi naman iyon basa o mabigat.
“Daddy, he wants to hear a song!”
Lumitaw na lang si Riana sa harap niya nang hindi niya namamalayan. Napayuko siya rito. Maayos itong nakapagpalit ng pambahay.
“A song?” nagtatakang tanong niya.
“Yes. Mommy will play baby songs on her phone. Or sometimes, she will sing and play the piano. Then Rade will stop crying.”
Huminga nang malalim si Reeve nang maramdamang nag-init ang sulok ng kanyang mga mata. Imagining Agatha doing anything and everything for their children made him emotional.
Umiiyak pa rin si Rade. Reeve could play the piano… sort of. But he couldn’t sing well, unless he practiced.
Hinugot niya ang phone sa bulsa then he opened an app where songs could be played. Natagalan bago siya nakahanap ng nursery songs. It looked like he should start collecting children songs in his phone like Agatha did.
When a song started playing, bigla na lang huminto sa pag-iyak si Rade at tiningnan ang phone niya. Tinuyo niya ang mga luha nito. Suddenly, he was all quiet and smiling.
“See, Daddy?” Riana said and she went to Adam. “Hi, Baby Adam. Nice cars!”
“Ate!” Tumayo si Adam at niyakap si Riana. “Play cars!”
Hmm… So Adam loved to play with anything with wheels. He liked to play, not alone, but with Riana only.
Nakatulog na uli si Rade, eksaktong oras na ng tanghalian. Reeve wasn’t able to cook yet. Wala pa rin ang mama niya na sumundo kay Rainiel. Inihiga niya si Rade sa crib.
“Riana, what do you want for lunch?” he asked his reliable daughter.
“I want rice and soup. Are you going to cook? Can I help you, Daddy?”
“Just play with Adam, darling.”
“He’s hungry already, Daddy. He wants to eat and not play.”
“Oh. Ahm, should I give him milk first?” Reeve started to panic. Ayaw niyang nagugutom ang anak pero wala pa siyang naluluto.
“Milk will make Adam busog po agad. Dapat crackers lang muna po.”
Agad siyang kumuha ng crackers sa kusina. Inabutan niya niyon si Adam. His little boy’s black eyes twinkled with glee. “Ganito ba ang ginagawa ni Mommy?”
Tumango si Riana at inabot ang kanyang kamay. “Let’s cook, Daddy!”
Pero bago pa sila makapasok sa kusina ay dumating na ang kanyang mama kasama si Rainiel.
“Daddy? You’re home early?” nagtatakang tanong din ng kanyang panganay. Hindi talaga sanay ang mga itong makita siya sa bahay ng ganoong oras.
“Your Daddy is having a vacation from work,” paliwanag ng kanyang mama na may mga dalang pagkain. Kinuha muna niya ang mga iyon. It looked like he didn’t need to cook for now. “Sa ngayon, makakasama n’yo ang daddy ninyo dito sa bahay habang wala pa ang mommy n’yo.”
“How about you, Grandma?” tanong pa ni Rainiel. Unlike Riana who was very pleased with the news, iba ang reaksiyon ng kanyang panganay.
“Well, Grandma will still visit you every morning and take you to school. But also Grandma needs to go to work. Your Tita Czarina needs my help,” tukoy nito sa stepsister niya.
Tumango si Rainiel. Hindi na ito nagsalita. Umakyat na lang sa hagdan. “I’m gonna change my clothes.”
“You want me to help?” prisinta ni Reeve.
“I’m okay, Daddy.” Tumakbo ito paakyat.
“Wow, food!” Riana squealed. “Daddy, let’s put this on the plates.”
“Thank you, Mama,” Reeve told his mother.
Tumango ito. “But you have to learn to prepare the kid’s breakfast, lunch and dinner on time. Hindi puwedeng laging take-out foods ang kainin ng mga bata. Or you can hire a maid to do the house chores.”
Umiling siya. “Ayaw ni Agatha n’on. My wife wanted everything with her personal touch. At sa tingin ko, gusto niyang ganoon din ang gawin ko.”
He would be a full-time father now. He would find out how to balance his time beween taking care of his children and maintaining the house.
“Kapag hindi mo na kaya, just call me.”
Tumango si Reeve. First day pa lang naman. What could go wrong?
Pero pagkatapos ng mapayapang tanghalian at pagkaalis ng kanyang mama ay nagsimula niya nang maranasan ang mga bagay na si Agatha lang ang nakakaayos.
“Daddy, I can’t understand my homework!” Rainiel was pissed. “Help me, please!”
“But, Kuya, it’s still my time!” angal ni Riana. “Daddy needs to finish tutoring me first.”
“Well, I can teach you both at the same time.”
“No, Daddy!” protesta ni Rainiel. “Bawal may kasabay. Sabi ni Mommy, dapat focus ka lang sa isa para mas sure na I’m learning well.”
“Ako muna, Kuya,” sabi ni Riana at saka yumakap sa binti niya. “I asked Daddy first!”
“I should go first because I’m older!” sigaw na ni Rainiel sa kapatid.
Napalabi si Riana at nangilid ang mga luha. Bago pa masaway ni Reeve ang anak ay pumalahaw ng iyak si Rade. Itinutulak ito ni Adam palayo sa mga laruan nito.
“No! No! Toys mine! Mine! Mine!” matinis na sigaw ni Adam habang patuloy na itinutulak ang kapatid.
Rade cried louder.
“Adam!” saway ni Reeve at hindi sinasadyang napalakas ang boses. Parang nagulat niya si Adam, dahilan para pumalahaw ito ng iyak.
Naghalo ang iyak ng dalawang anak. Akmang lalapitan niya ang mga ito para aluin. “I’m sorry— Riana?”
Humihikbi-hikbi ito sa tabi niya. Pagbaling niya kay Rainiel ay napakatalim ng tingin nito sa kapatid.
“Rainiel, don’t scare your sister.” Kulang sa awtoridad ang tono ni Reeve. Natakot siyang magtaas uli ng boses dahil baka lalong umiyak sina Adam at Rade.
“She should know I always come first!” Rainiel shouted. Dahil sa sigaw nito ay mas pumalahaw ng iyak sina Adam at Rade.
They were still toddlers, sensitive to screams and shouts. Nalito si Reeve sa kung sino ang uunahing aluin. Naramdaman niya ang pagyakap nang mahigpit ni Riana sa kanya. Adam was still crying while pushing his toys away from Rade—who was still wailing—while trying to reach the toys.
Napapikit si Reeve. It was hard to admit but he didn’t know how to calm his children. Iyon ang isa sa mga pagkakataong si Agatha lang ang nakakaalam kung paano reresolbahin.
He didn’t have Agatha’s patience, soft voice, positive solutions, and optimistic attitude towards this kind of situation.
He thought he could go through the first day without much problem. He was the boss in a large company. He could order every employee and they would all obey. One snap of a finger and everybody would do whatever he said.
He could use his authority over his children but he was too scared that he might overdo it. He was afraid that his children would misunderstand.
Naging maingay ang buong bahay dahil sa mga papalakas na iyak. Padabog na tumalikod si Rainiel. Mabibigat ang mga paang umakyat ito sa sariling kuwarto.
Napahilot si Reeve sa sentido. Parang gusto na lang din niyang umiyak kasabay ng mga anak.