Chapter Twenty-two
*Love comes in different forms;
fell, grew, learned, and even in an instant.
But mostly, it’s a form of choice.*
SIGURO kung may pinakamagugulat sa ipinapakita niyang behavior ngayon, si Agatha lang din mismo iyon. Hindi naman ang mga salitang iyon ang gusto niyang sabihin sa babae. She wanted to speak with class as much as possible, to be kind. Hindi dahil iyon ang inaasahan ng mga tao sa kanya but because she was brought up that way. Hindi siya pinalaki ng mga magulang para lang magbitiw ng mga salitang ni sa panaginip ay hindi naman itinuro sa kanya na sabihin.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman said, stepping backwards after Agatha called her a ‘b.’ The woman smiled with sophistication. Tumingin ito kay Reeve. “I guess your wife’s a little foxy, isn’t she?”
Napatingin siya kay Reeve. Nakatingin din ito sa kanya. Parang kulang ang salitang pagkagulat na nababasa niya sa mga mata nito.
“I-I’m sorry,” biglang bawi ni Agatha sa sinabi. “I just… I just saw m-my h-husband getting uncomfortable with how you hold him…” she said, almost a whisper.
Para siyang isang galit na leon na biglang umamo. Halos magtago na siya sa likod ng asawa. At hindi man lang nagsasalita si Reeve!
“It’s all right,” the woman said softly. “I’m sorry I was too… touchy. Nakalimutan kong matanda na ang pamangkin ko.”
Pamangkin?
Reeve sighed. “Tita Lyla, I’m sorry. My wife has amnesia. Hindi ka niya nakilala.”
Napakurap-kurap si Agatha. Blood easily went to her cheeks. “T-Tita?”
“She’s my mother’s youngest sister. Pero mas matanda ako sa kanya nang isang taon,” sagot naman ni Reeve.
“I’m a miracle baby,” the woman added. “You know, when a couple that has been married for like thirty years never expected they can still have a baby?”
Napapikit si Agatha sa sobrang hiya. Napayuko na siya at tuluyan nang nagtago sa likuran ni Reeve.
She heard Lyla’s soft laughter. “I’m sorry, Reeve, if I made you uncomfortable. And sorry too, Agatha, if I made you jealous in any way. Ikaw naman, Reeve, hindi mo nabanggit ang kondisyon ng asawa mo. Well, I’d better go. Excuse me.”
Naiwang tahimik sina Agatha at Reeve.
Tiningnan uli siya ni Reeve. Lumabi siya at tumalikod na. Bumalik siya sa kinauupuan. Tahimik na nakasunod sa kanya si Reeve.
“Duke! You will never believe what I just heard!” Trisha exclaimed, laughing.
“What did you hear, hon?”
“Agatha just said ‘bitch.’”
Namilog ang mga mata nito. “Whoa! That’s new!” Umupo ito sa tabi ng asawa. “Who did she call a ‘b’?”
“Reeve’s aunt.”
Napasinghap si Agatha at napaangat ng tingin kay Trisha. Itinuro niya ito. “You knew?!” gulat niyang sabi. “Alam mong kamag-anak siya ni Reeve at hinayaan mo `kong sumugod doon?!”
“Whoa there, girl. I was just playing with you. I was about to tell you but…” Tumatawa pa rin si Trisha. Umatras ito palayo sa kanya at kumandong kay Prince. “Ikaw ang basta na lang sumugod diyan. You’re the one who keeps saying that Reeve is uncomfortable and he needs help.”
Hindi siya makatingin kay Reeve sa sobrang hiya. She just cursed a family member! Sabi na nga ba niya at hindi magandang nagsasalita nang hindi nag-iisip. Ano ba kasi ang sumanib sa kanya para sabihin iyon?
“Selosa ka pala, Agatha?” Prince commented while wrapping his arms around Trisha’s shoulders. “Boy, I didn’t know you have it in you. Dati kasi kapag may mga lumalapit kay Reeve, nagkikibit-balikat ka lang.”
“`Tapos, confident mo pang sinasabi sa `kin na, you trust Reeve,” singit ni Trisha. “Wala kang dapat ikaselos kasi tiwala ka sa love ninyo for each other.”
“Sa tingin ko noon, nagseselos ka kahit kaunti pero dahil si Agatha ka, kalmado ka lang,” dagdag pa ni Prince. “I mean, sure that’s good that you trust your husband. I mean, Reeve won’t really cheat. Pero minsan may kurot pa rin ng selos, right? Pagtatalunan n’yo pa iyan saglit. Which is kind of childish but sweet because make-up sex is next!”
“Sshh!” Tinakpan ni Trisha ang bibig ng asawa nito. “That’s our thing, you big mouth. Hindi na magseselos si Agatha kasi na-fall out of love na daw siya.”
“Oh, right.”
Lahat na yata ng dugo sa katawan ni Agatha ay nasa mukha na niya. Lalong hindi nakakatulong na nasa likuran lang niya si Reeve at kanina pa tahimik.
May pumailanlang na tugtog at nagsimulang magsayaw ang magkakapareha. The two tattle-tales, Prince and Trisha, joined the other couples on the dance floor.
Naiwan sila ni Reeve.
Sumandal si Agatha at dahan-dahang nilingon ang asawa. Tahimik itong sumisimsim ng wine habang nakatingin sa mga magkakaparehang sumasayaw na.
“I-I’m sorry for calling your aunt a… a…” Now, she had no guts to say the word. “W-wala talagang ibig sabihin `yon. Nataranta lang siguro ako kasi akala ko, uncomfortable ka na…”
“It’s kind of uncomfortable when you’re older than your aunt and she keeps on teasing and holding you like a child.” Naubos na ni Reeve ang wine.
“Sorry talaga, Reeve. H-hindi rin naman ako nagseselos,” depensa ni Agatha. “Ahm, I… just want to help you earlier. Pero hindi pala dapat kasi kamag-anak mo siya. H-hindi ko talaga alam… Hindi mo kasi nabanggit na may kapatid pala si Mama Leona.”
“Hindi ako malapit sa kahit sinong kamag-anak sa side ni Mama. Kaya hindi ko rin naisip ikuwento. Never felt the need. But I guess I should have told you,” he said, all calm and apologetic too. “Want to go home?”
Tumango na lang si Agatha. Baka hindi pa natutulog sina Rainiel at Riana at hinihintay sila.
Tumayo na si Reeve. Sumunod siya at nagpaalam na kina Trisha at Prince, pati sa host ng party. Pagkatapos ay lumabas na sila at tahimik na sumakay sa sasakyan.
Hiyang-hiya pa rin si Agatha sa inakto. “Reeve, sa tingin mo, your Tita Lyla won’t take it against me?”
Umiling ito. “You said sorry and she said it was fine. So, it’s fine. Huwag mo nang masyadong isipin. Baka sumakit pa ang ulo mo. May therapy ka pa bukas ng hapon kaya hindi makabubuti kung madadagdag pa iyan sa mga iniisip mo.”
The way Reeve said it meant the matter was already closed. Hindi nito tinanong o na-bring up kung talaga bang nakaramdam siya ng selos sa babaeng akala niya ay… lumalandi rito.
For Agatha, it was just a moment of complete unstable emotion and maybe, what she did earlier was an unconscious act that she’d been wanting to do for years now. Dahil base sa sinasabi ni Trisha at Prince kanina, may mga pagkakataon noon na nakikita niyang nilalapitan ng kung sino-sinong babae ang kanyang asawa at hindi lang siya umiimik.
Pagdating nila sa bahay ay tulog na ang lahat ng anak nila. Rainiel was already tucked in his bed. Si Riana ay sa kama niya nakatulog. Adam and Rade were sharing a crib.
“`Buti at nakauwi na kayo,” Agatha’s mother said. Ito ang nag-babysit sa mga apo. “How’s the business dinner?”
“Ayos naman po,” sagot ni Agatha. “Mommy, uuwi ka pa po ba ngayon? It’s already late and—”
“Don’t worry, susunduin ako ng daddy mo.”
“I’ll go upstairs,” magalang na paalam ni Reeve. “Sorry, Mommy. Hindi ko na mahihintay na masundo ka ni Dad. I still need to get up early tomorrow.”
“Sure, hijo. I understand. Magpahinga kang mabuti.”
“Good night,” he said and kissed his mother’s cheek. Then he turned to her. “Good night, Agatha.”
“Good night…”
Agatha watched as Reeve went up the stairs. Mukhang kailangan na talaga nito ng pahinga. Laglag na ang mga balikat nito at namumungay ang mga mata.
“Kumusta na kayo ni Reeve, hija?” her mother asked carefully.
“I think we’re fine…”
“Fine? Like… how fine?”
Napatingin siya sa mommy niya. “We’re both doing our best for our children. Kahit paano, nagkakasundo naman kami.”
“Do you remember him already?”
“Not yet fully…” Agatha shrugged. “Okay naman kami, Mommy. We live like a normal family. Kahit iba na ang nararamdaman ko…” Napabuntong-hininga siya. “But I guess I still care for him. Despite the… the bad things I remember about him. Kung itatanong ang feelings ko sa kanya, I still care.”
Hinila siya ng mommy niya paupo. Hinawakan nito ang kanyang kamay. “I believe that we don’t really fall out of love. But the level of affection we give to someone, it somehow changes over time. Some loves are wild and exciting. And then they tame and calm down. Some moments, they flush like a free river, then stay still like a storm-free sea.”
“What do you mean, Mommy?”
Pinisil nito ang kanyang kamay at masuyo siyang nginitian. “Some days, we think love is not there anymore. But in reality, we still have it deep down. It’s not just as active and jumpy as before. But it’s still there. Perhaps just sleeping from a tiring journey.”
Napailing si Agatha. “But what if it’s not sleeping? What if it… ran away? It… left?”
“Maybe it did leave. But it won’t go too far.”
“Mapag-aaralan ko naman sigurong mahalin uli si Reeve, hindi po ba? Pero hindi nga lang ngayon. Hindi ko alam, Mommy. I appreciate his efforts but I think… romance is not on our side now. Pero hindi ko naman po siya iiwan. Hindi ko rin naman kaya, lalo na at may mga anak kami. We can live harmoniously. We can save this marriage with good companionship for now.”
“I agree with you.”
Bigla siyang napaangat ng tingin sa ina. “You do?”
“Katulad ng sinabi ko kanina, ang pag-ibig, nandiyan lang iyan. Pero may mga bagay na hindi naman puwedeng ipilit kung hindi pa natin kaya. Naiintindihan kita, anak. I went through the same phase when I married your father.”
Ikiniling ni Agatha ang ulo at mas tumabi sa ina. “I can’t remember your story. Hindi pa kasama sa mga alaalang bumalik sa akin, Mommy…”
“It’s all right. Medyo fabricated na ang story na ikinukuwento namin noon sa `yo so it would sound romantic.”
“What?”
“We’re sorry. Bata ka pa kasi noon and we wanted you to believe in happy endings because they were really real. Hindi lang sa una. But later on, it happened. I married your father because he was a family friend. Gusto kami para sa isa’t isa ng mga pamilya namin. It was kind of an arranged marriage, too. But we arranged it ourselves. He needed to get married. Yet Philip couldn’t just settle down. He only wanted to marry Johann’s mother, Valerie. But she cheated and ran away pregnant. Ayaw naman ng daddy mo na pinipilit siyang magpakasal na lang sa kung sino. Pero noong mga panahong iyon, kapag presidente ka ng isang malaking negosyo, hindi puwedeng hindi ka pamilyado. Before, bachelors are never considered good leaders until they become a family man. Your father married me because I was a better choice.”
Napakurap si Agatha. “And you accepted the offer? Kahit alam mo pong… option ka lang dahil wala na ang babaeng gusto talagang pakasalan ni Daddy?”
Tumango ang mommy niya at naging lagpas-lagpasan ang tingin sa kanya. Parang pinapanood nito ang mga nangyari habang nagkukuwento.
“Do you love him before you got married?” tanong pa niya. Siya kasi ay pumayag sa arranged marriage dahil mahal daw niya si Reeve noon.
Umiling ito. “I didn’t want to get married. I wanted to travel the world and live in countries and experience different cultures all by myself. At ayoko sa daddy mo dahil suplado `yon tuwing may mga family dinner at imbitado ang pamilya namin ng pamilya nila.” Umiling-iling ito. “Masungit nga `yon sa `kin.”
“Why did you marry him then?”
“Because he promised I can still live like a free woman. As long as I’ll be a loyal wife. He’ll finance my travel around the world and won’t force me to have a child with him. Puwede ko rin siyang matulungan sa paghahanap kay Valerie at sa anak nila. We can be good companions.”
Napangiti si Agatha. “Did you travel the whole world, Mommy?”
Natawa ito. “I could have. If my love for your father didn’t become active and all excited. You see, no’ng nakatira na kami sa iisang bahay, dinadaan-daanan ko lang siya. Nagsasabay kami sa pagkain pero hindi nag-uusap. I went to some business events as his partner. We did some investigations kung nasaan na sina Valerie at Johann. It did last for one to two years. Ganoon lang ang setup namin. Until one day, nang itutuloy ko na ang pagta-travel ko, nasa airport pa lang ako ay nami-miss ko na ang daddy mo. I wasn’t aware that with his simple presence, my heart grew fond of him.”
“You fell in love with him…”
“I’ve learned to love him,” she corrected. “Our love wasn’t like in the movies. Ours gradually stepped on to the next level. Your father still loved another woman then and wouldn’t see me that way. Hindi naman siya gumagawa ng mga bagay na puwedeng magpa-fall in love sa akin. He just… he just stayed there. He was just there where I could find him after I traveled. The one I always would go home to. I had learned to love that man. I chose to. Hindi na ako nag-travel pa sa Europe, Africa, and America. I stayed in the house. I found a new dream—to be your father’s home. Until he learned to love me too. Because he chose to move on from Valerie. And because I was home, where he could always find me.
“All along, we did love each other. Kahit family friends pa lang kami. Pero kung sa isang laro ay wala pa `yong level one, it’s just a love that’s just strong enough to care. Kaya ko siya pinakasalan para masigurong hindi siya paghihinalaan ng mga tao sa sarili niyang hotels. Ako naman, pinakasalan niya para masigurong hindi ako basta-basta na lang nagpupunta sa kung saan-saan. He wanted to make sure I’ll always go home safe from a travel. We did care for each other kaya kami good companions. The love was already there but it was just calm and maybe still lazy to get all excited and jumpy.”
Agatha chuckled. “Oh, Mom…”
“But that love learned to grow up. Because love is after all a commitment. A commitment we can choose and not a feeling we mishandle.”
She smiled. “So I didn’t fall out of love? My love just got tired and fell lazy for a while?”
“Maybe.” Her mother shrugged. “And if you and Reeve chose to be good companions for your children for now, then I won’t question that. You wanted to be good parents together. Pero huwag mong isipin na wala na ang pagmamahal mo kay Reeve. I believe it’s just there deep within. Either he’s worthy or not of it anymore is always your choice, Agatha. Siguro bumaba lang ng maraming levels ang pagmamahal mo.”
Napayuko siya at napangiti nang mapait. May gusto pa sana siyang itanong sa ina pero narinig na nila ang busina ng sasakyan ng daddy niya.
Nang makaalis na ang kanyang mga magulang ay tahimik na pumanhik si Agatha sa kuwarto. Nagpalit na siya ng pantulog. But before going to sleep, she checked on Rainiel. She kissed him on the forehead. Nang masigurong mahimbing pa rin ang anak ay bumalik na siya sa kuwarto. She checked on Adam and Rade too. Binigyan niya ang dalawa ng tig-isang halik sa noo. Pagkatapos ay si Riana naman na tulog na tulog na rin sa kama nilang mag-asawa ang hinalikan niya.
Humiga na siya sa tabi ng anak at niyakap ito. But her yes remained open. Mga kalahating oras din siyang nagpipilit makatulog.
Isa lang siguro ang tumatak sa kanya sa kuwento ng mommy niya. Her mother learned to love her father when she already defined and chose who she wanted to be. She didn’t want to be a world traveler any longer. She chose to be her father’s home. Hindi kinalimutan ng mommy niya ang pangarap nito. Handa lang itong magkaroon ng panibagong pagkatao kung saan magiging masaya rin ito.
Agatha might have done that before. But she grew unhappy as her marriage with Reeve never became what she expected it to be. She didn’t become what she expected herself to be.
WHEN morning came, the day went on their normal routine. Pero pagkatapos ng afternoon therapy ni Agatha ay kinausap niya ang asawa.
“Do you think it’s unfair?”
Napatingin si Reeve sa kanya habang pinapaliguan nito si Adam sa bathtub. Siya naman ay sinusuotan na ng diaper si Rade.
“What’s unfair?”
“Na may mga pagkakamali din ako sa pagsasama natin noon pero ako lang ang nakalimot sa pagmamahal?” naisip niyang itanong.
He shrugged. “Kung wala kang amnesia, mapapatawad mo kaagad ako. Madali mong mapagpapasyahang mahalin uli ako. The universe might be telling me I’m not worthy of it anymore this time. That’s why the amnesia happened.”
“If you’re not worthy of it anymore, bakit pinagsusumikapan mo pa ring makuha ang loob ko? Why do you bother to make it up to me? `Di ba kapag alam nating hindi na para sa atin, hindi na dapat pang paghirapang makuha pa?”
He chuckled lightly. “I’m doing this for… the Lord. I promised Him I would take care of you and love you through thick and thin. Maybe I’m not worthy of forgiveness and love anymore. But you, Agatha, is still worthy to have a loving husband. And our children still deserve a caring father. I’ll be that. I’ll choose to be that than to be a high and mighty corporate leader.”
Napabuntong-hininga si Agatha. Tapos na niyang damitan ang bunsong anak. Kinarga niya si Rade at marahang pinunasan ng tuwalya ang basa pa nitong buhok. “Now I’m feeling guiltier when you said that,” nakalabi niyang sabi.
Adam giggled when Reeve opened the hand-held shower and water poured all over Adam’s soapy body.
“Hindi ko iyon sinabi para ma-pressure ka o ano pa man.” Pinatay ni Reeve ang shower at inahon na si Adam mula sa tub. “You’re a sweet mother. That’s great. You’re slowly catching up with your dreams again while taking care of our children, that’s greater. You’ve been honest about your feelings and still stayed for this marriage to work out, that’s the greatest. Hindi lahat ay kayang gawin ang ginagawa mo.”
And it was the love within her that made her do all of that. It was a love in a different form, on a different level…
After a week, their marriage counselling started. The first session turned out well. Parang ginagawa rin nila sa therapy sessions niya. But it was more of a spiritual approach.
Nakita ni Agatha ang kaseryosuhan ni Reeve tuwing nagsasalita ang nagka-counsel sa kanila.
“Bakit naisip mong humiwalay ng tulugan, Reeve?” tanong ni Miss Shadder, ang counselor nila. She was in her fifties, married to a pastor, and had two children.
Napatingin si Reeve sa kanya bago sinagot ang tanong. “Katulad ni Agatha, gusto kong mas makatabi din niya ang mga anak namin. I know the feeling of wanting to sleep beside your mother.”
“Pero natutulog ka naman noon sa extra bed na nasa kuwarto din,” hindi napigilang sabihin ni Agatha—na hindi rin niya alam kung bakit pa niya nasabi. Alam naman niya ang rason kung bakit lumipat ng kuwarto si Reeve.
“Do you want Reeve to sleep in the same room as yours, Agatha?”
Natigilan siya sa tanong. Napaisip tuloy siya. Pero matagal siyang walang naisagot kaya nahihiyang napayuko na lang siya. “I g-guess I just want the kids to feel that we’re there together for them, even in their sleep.”
“Nasubukan n’yo na bang magtabi uli?”
“Once when we were still in Iddu,” sagot niya.
“And what happened?” Miss Shadder asked.
Nagkatinginan sila ni Reeve. They cried that time. Together. At hindi na sila nagtabi uli.
“I find our sleeping arrangement better now,” Reeve answered instead. “Kung makakatulong na nasa iisang kuwarto uli kami, babalik ako. I love sleeping with my children too.”
“Have you tried praying together after a long tiring day?”
Napakurap si Agatha. She couldn’t remember…
“In the first years of our marriage, we did. Then I became too busy after,” Reeve admitted. “Hanggang sa naaksidente rin siya.”
May sinabi si Miss Shadder na hindi na nagawang maintindihan masyado ni Agatha. It was something spiritual that she lost interest in.
But Reeve was attentive. Pagkauwi nila sa bahay ay naabutan naman nila ang mama at papa nito.
“Mommy!” Tumakbo payakap sa kanya si Riana at humalik. Ganoon din ang ginawa nito kay Reeve.
Rainiel kissed her on the cheek too. Mukhang ayaw nitong humalik kay Reeve. Ramdam iyon ng asawa kaya naman itinaas na lang nito ang kamay. “Just a high-five will do, champ.”
Rainiel lazily give him a high-five. Pagkatapos ay tumakbo na ang panganay nila pabalik sa kuwarto nito.
Napatingin siya kay Reeve. Sinundan lang nito ng tingin si Rainiel.
“Papa, you’re here,” sabi ni Agatha sa biyenan.
“Naisip ko lang na dumaan. Gusto kong makita ang mga apo ko,” nakangiting sabi nito
Reeve’s mother was already in the house to take care of the children while they were in counselling.
“Really, Papa?” Reeve asked sarcastically. “Or is it because Mama is here?”
Pinigilan ni Agatha ang mapangiti. Nag-usap na sila ni Reeve na hindi na ibi-bring up ang hinala nila months ago. Nangako siyang hindi na manunukso.
Tumawa ito. Ganoon din ang biyenan niyang babae.
“Naku, Reeve, nagaya ka na kay Czarina at itinutukso ako sa papa mo,” sabi ni Mama Leona.
“Why? Isn’t there something going on between the two of you?”
Nagkatinginan ang dalawa at nagkatawanan.
Napakunot-noo si Reeve. Nagtaka rin si Agatha.
“We’re too old for that,” his mother said.
“We’re good friends. Who would want to ruin that again?” nakangising sabi ni Papa Roman. “Not me.”
Sabay yata silang nalito ni Reeve. Kung ganoon, hindi nagkabalikan ang mga ito?
Napailing si Reeve, hitsurang parang ayaw nang mag-isip. “I’ll just change my clothes. Stay for dinner, Papa.”
“My pleasure.”
Pag-akyat ni Reeve sa hagdanan ay nanatili si Agatha na kausap ang mga biyenan.
“Mommy, I want to take a shower before dinner,” sabi ni Riana.
“Okay. I’ll give you a bath, baby.”
“Ako na lang ang magpapaligo kay Riana,” her mother-in-law volunteered. “I-breast-feed mo muna si Rade, Agatha.”
So Agatha was left downstairs with Rade. Nakikipaglaro naman si Papa Roman kay Adam.
“`Buti at nakibisita po kayo,” sabi niya sa biyenan. Hindi naman siya nagtagal sa pag-breast-feed kay Rade dahil na-distract ito sa mga laruan ni Adam.
“May trabaho kaming pinaghati-hatian nina Reeve at Philip. Maagang natapos ang sa akin kaya naisip kong bisitahin ang mga apo ko.”
“Binibisita n’yo rin po si Mama?” hindi na napigilang tukso niya.
Napalingon si Papa Roman sa kanya. “Bakit lahat kayo `yan ang iniisip?” Natawa pa ito.
“Hindi po ba kayo nagkabalikan na?” usisa na niya. She really wanted to ask that question. “I’ll respect it if you want to hide it for now.”
Napailing-iling ito. Natatawa pa rin. “Magkaibigan kami ni Leona at nagbalik ang dating pagiging malapit namin. Kahit noong mga bata pa kami. Nakakatuwa na sa pagkakaibigan ay may isa pang pagkakataon.”
“Pero wala naman na pong asawa si Mama. Puwede na po kayong magkabalikan.”
Ngumiti si Papa Roman at tumingin sa kanya nang tuwid sa mga mata. “Hija, walang dapat balikan dahil hindi naman kagaya ng iniisip ninyo ang klase ng pag-ibig na mayroon kami ni Leona para sa isa’t isa.”
“Po?”
“The romance was one-sided. But the friendship? It’s the love that exists between us,” he said, his black eyes twinkling. “At iyon ang binalikan namin. Iyon ang dapat naming balikan dahil doon kami matibay.”
“I-ibig po bang sabihin… w-wala pong nangyayari sa inyo ni Mama?”
Napakunot-noo si Papa Roman. Kuhang-kuha ni Reeve iyon mula sa ama nito. “Ano? Ano’ng nangyayari?” Papa Roman chuckled.
Napailing na lang si Agatha. “But you love her, Papa. Reeve told me so.”
“Leona doesn’t see me that way. Kahit pa wala na si Ed, nananatili ang pagmamahal ni Leona sa asawa niya. Nirerespeto ko iyon. Matagal ko nang tinanggap. Leona and I are good friends and that is our love that needs a second chance. This is the purest thing Leona can offer to me. It’s not bad considering how great we are as friends. And some days in life, we have to learn to accept that love is not all romance. Matatanda na kami para ipilit ko sa kanya ang sarili ko ngayong malaya na uli siya. Nananatili si Ed sa puso ni Leona.”
“P-pero, Papa… Hindi n’yo po ba tinanong man lang si Mama? Baka po… baka she has learned to love you back.”
Yumuko si Papa Roman at binuhat ang mga apo sa magkabilang bisig. “I did ask her. At nilinaw niya na hanggang pagkakaibigan lang talaga ang kaya niyang ibigay. And that’s okay.”
Hindi na nakapagsalita uli si Agatha. Kung ganoon, mali sila ng akala. There was a second chance between Papa Roman and Mama Leona but not the one they were all thinking about.
“Papa, will you still continue to love her although you settled to being friends?”
“Of course, hija. I will always love Leona. But I have stopped wanting her to love me back the way I do.” Ngumiti ito. It was not fake but a genuine smile full of pure love. “And I’m not hurting anymore. I love where we are now. Because Leona is my most favorite girl and she’s my best friend. I’m happy. I chose to be.”
Pumikit ito at niyakap sina Adam at Rade. Napangiti si Agatha sa sinabi ng biyenan. He talked about friendship as if it was the most wonderful thing about love.
And she remembered what her mother told her. Love had different stages, different forms, different intensities. Her parents’ love story and those of Reeve’s parents were completely different from each other. But they both knew what kind of love they could offer. And what form of love they were happy to choose to settle on.
It got her thinking about Reeve and herself…
But anyway…
“Thank you, Papa Roman,” sabi niya at hinawakan ang kamay ng biyenan.
Adam crawled down and suddenly cried. Napakunot-noo si Agatha. Rade crawled down from his grandfather’s embrace and cried too.
“What happened?” Umalis siya sa tabi ng biyenan at niyakap ang dalawang anak.
Nakapikit pa rin ang biyenan niyang lalaki. Her sons kept crying.
Tinitigan niya si Papa Roman. Parang piniga ang puso niya. Tumayo siya at inabot ang pulso nito.
There was no beat.
She checked his heart.
No beat!
“P-Papa…” Niyugyog niya ang balikat nito. “Papa!”
Adam and Rade kept on crying.
“What happened?” Bumaba si Reeve. “I could hear the boys crying. What happened?”
Nanginginig na napasalampak sa sahig si Agatha. “R-Reeve, si P-Papa…”
Tumakbo si Reeve palapit sa ama, horror written all over his face. “Papa? Papa?! Wake up, Papa! Papa, you can’t do this! No! Papa!”