Molly
"Where are you darlin?" I'm not sure how long I've been on the phone with Tom but it's been long enough that Mrs, Jackson has been and left a coffee on the table in front of me. He has already asked me this question more than once in that time but I've avoided it because I don't want to lie to him but I'm worried that if I tell him that he will come here and I know that it won't take much for him to convince me to go home with him.
I've always struggled to say no to Tom. He's my best friend and has me wrapped around his little finger but more than that I know that he will never steer me wrong in life which is why I struggle so much with refusing him pretty much anything that he wants in life.
"I'm safe." It's a shit answer but it's all that I've got right now. I've run out of things to ask him to distract him. I've already asked how everyone is doing including the kids, animals, and Sandy the dog. "While I'm glad to hear that, that's not an answer Molly Dolly." I smile at his nickname for me. Molly Dolly and Baby Girl are his favorite ones to use on me and as silly as those names are they still always bring a smile to my face.
I can hear more voices in the background and hurried whispers but I'm not sure whose voices they are. "Molly, where are you?" I'm thrown for a second when the next voice that I hear through the phone doesn't belong to Tom. Christian's voice comes through loud and clear and he sounds pissed.
"Christian, where's Tom?" He lets out a small huff "Where are you, Molly? tell me!" His demanding tone instantly has my hackles up. "what's it to you Christian, surely your happy that I left?" He hasn't been shy about making it clear that he hasn't wanted me there since the moment I arrived so why is he even asking where I am? Surely he should just be grateful that I left... right?
He lets out a low breath then speaks again only this time his voice is much softer than it was just seconds ago. "Tom's worried about you, we all are. Tell me where you are, Molly... please?" Why does he have to sound so different, like he actually cares? it's messing with my head and my resolve to stay quiet about my location. "I'm not going to tell you where I am. Please tell Tom that I'm sorry for that but I need to do this Christian. Tell him that I'm safe and I will call him soon."
He lefts out a frustrated huff but stays quiet for a moment before telling Tom what I said. his behavior is confusing but I don't have the mental space to try and work it out right now. He doesn't say another word to me but I vaguely hear his calling me a stubborn woman right before Tom's voice comes through the phone once more. I tell him about Mrs, Jackson's offer for them to stay in her house, and it's easy to hear that he is sincerely grateful.
"When will I see you next Molls?" Tom sounds so sad and it's breaking my heart but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and any decisions that I make now feel impossible. I let out a big sigh as I feel my resolve to stay away from him slowly break away. "I'll come and see you before I leave for New York, ok?"
"Your heading for New York?" He doesn't sound too surprised. "Yes, well first anyway. I'm going to see how the business is doing and then decide if I want to stay there or maybe start afresh somewhere else."
"Your fresh start was meant to be here, Molly."
"It was and in the short time that I have been here I have come to love the place, the small town, and all of the people that I have met but I won't stay where I'm not wanted, I have done it before but I can't and won't do it again. And I won't cause a rift between you and your brother which I fear will happen if I stay here. I have to put you first, Tom." I feel tears trickle down my face at my honest answer. I've already thought this more than once but to say it out loud is painful.
"I had a feeling that you were leaving because of Christian but I was hoping that I was wrong." He sounds pissed and that's the last thing that I want. "Don't be mad at him. He can't help how he feels and besides, we both know that he's right in what he thinks. There is a secret that he doesn't know... it's just not a secret that he would ever guess."
"Fuck!" He raises his voice but doesn't speak for a moment or two. "What can I do to change your mind? there has to be something?" this is what I feared would happen. Just hearing his voice over the phone as he tries to change my mind is hard enough and this is why I left before he could try to change my mind in person.
The tears stream down my face as I hear the pleading tone in his voice and more than anything I want to tell him that I'll go back to the farm right this minute but for what? for Christian to keep accusing me of stuff that I haven't done? for him to keep digging at me when he doesn't really know me? for him to keep nagging to hear my secret? I can't do it. I have to go. It's best for everyone involved.
"I need to go, Tom, I'll call you later, love you." I end the call before he can say a word. A box of tissues appears on the table in front of me soon followed by Penny's gentle hand on my shoulder. "Oh, sweet girl!" She pulls out the chair next to me and pulls me into her for a hug. A hug I didn't know that I needed and yet a hug that feels incredibly amazing.
"I know you properly don't want to talk about it but maybe it will help. I'm a good listener and even better at keeping secrets. I'm also ancient and would like to think fairly wise from the experiences of my life." I look at her to see a cheeky smile on her face, she winks at me and somehow her cheeky humor manages to break through my hurt and actually makes me smile. I wipe my eyes before picking up my hot coffee and breathing in the incredible aroma. "I wouldn't even know where to start."
"At the beginning is always good." She picks up her own coffee while staying silent giving me time to think over my words and decide what I want to tell her. I decide to go with just what she said and before I know it, I'm spilling out everything right back to my life with Archie to this morning on the farm. She doesn't say a word the whole time only listens intently and refills our coffees once they are empty. By the time I stop talking, I'm not even sure how long It's been but I bet she regrets asking me to talk now.
"Oh lordy. You have really been through it haven't you sweet girl? can I ask about your family? where have they been in all of this?" That question should hurt, should hit a nerve, and for a long time it did but not anymore, I made my peace with how things are a long time ago. "I don't have any family. I was brought up in the foster care system."
Her eyes seem to glaze over for a moment before she clears her throat. "That's awful, there's way too many babies being brought up by strangers. I wish you had lived here when you were little, I would have taken you in and kept you with me and Steven. My Steven would have loved you." I give her a confused look which she quickly picks up on before speaking again.
"Steven was my husband of forty-two years. He died eight years ago after a short battle with bowel cancer. We couldn't have children of our own but we fostered many children over the years, Two of which we ended up adopting. If we had fostered you, I just know we would have kept you too." I smile at her words and feel honored.
"You want to know what I think about your situation, child?" I nod my head as I take a sip of my piping-hot coffee. "Yes please, Penny."
"I think that there are feelings there and you're scared." Huh? "Don't try and look so confused girl, as I said I've been around a long time, and I've seen even more. There are feelings there but your past scares you so much that you're afraid of your future."
She gives me a strange look before counting "I've also known Christian since he was in diapers and from what you're telling me there are feelings on his part too but again his past is tainting his future and it sounds like you need your heads banging together."
I've told her everything that has been going on, everything including how Christian has behaved towards me, and the things that he has said and done, and this is what she comes out with. How wrong could she be? I'm starting to wonder if poor old Mrs, Jackson is more senile than wise.