Molly
Instead of heading to Penny's house, I end up at some dog walking park not far from town. The drive was long and painful but I stayed steady and focused. If there's one thing that I'm good at in life it's my perfect driving no matter what the situation may be. Archie and Tom's old sergeant spend years trying to get me to join the army as a tank driver and said I would be perfect at it but it never appealed to me.
However, the moment I took a step out of the truck my entire body felt numb yet shaky and my mind went completely blank. They say to live life to the fullest because you never know what's around the corner and boy have I learned how true that saying is. How can life turn upside down and inside out so fast? I feel like everything has been turned on its head and I don't know how to stop it.
Three days ago I was laughing and joking with Tom with my only concern being how to get Christian to stop being an ass and now look at me. I'm sitting on my own on a bench in a dog park when I don't even have a dog although I'm shaking like a shitting dog right now so maybe I really am in the best place.
How could he do this to me? None of it makes sense. I want to argue every single detail but how can I when it's all there in black and white? yes, papers can be forged but these are legal papers from a lawyer and the photos... well those photos definitely don't lie. The more I'm thinking about it all the more my heart picks up the pace and my palms get clammy with sweat.
Almost ten years of marriage turned to dust in just a few seconds. His death wasn't the cause of that, no, his death never stopped what we had because everything that we had and all the memories that we shared has always been with me in my head and in my heart but after this... How will I ever think or feel the same about him or our marriage again?
I try to clear my mind by taking slow calm breaths but it doesn't work, those photos and results are seared into my brain. I knew the results would be positive, deep down I knew that Archie would be that little girl's dad and even though I'm not quite sure how I feel about it all, a part of me is sad, not sad for me but for that little girl.
She is only one year old, a baby and yet she's never going to see her dad. I don't know if she had already got to meet him or not but it doesn't matter because even if she did get to meet him before he died she still won't remember him.
"Hey, darlin'." My head snaps up when I hear Jack's voice. Where the hell did he come from? He takes a seat next to me leaning forward with his elbows resting on his legs. "Jack... what are you doing here?" I sound harsher than I mean but as soon as I talk it instantly feels like I've swallowed a thousand razor blades, thankfully for me Jack doesn't look offended if anything he looks concerned. Oh shit, I hope there's nothing wrong, I don't think I can handle any more bad news.
"Is everything ok?" He nods but stays silent for a few seconds while looking at me with a concerned look still on his face. "I was heading back to Penny's when I saw Tom's truck, thought I'd come to make sure everything is ok that's all darlin'." Well, thank fuck for that. "I'm good Jack. Just taking some time."
"I don't know what's going on I didn't ask Tom nor did he tell me any details, all that he did say was that it's bad." I nod my head unsure of what to say. "More than I ever thought it would be... so much more." A sob leaves me while I fight not to break down again, it feels like that's all I've done over these last few days and I'm drained and tired and just fed up with it.
Jack wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him placing a kiss on my head. "I'm not going to ask you anything, it's not my place to do that and I know more than most what it's like to want to keep something secret but it doesn't stay that way. However, I am here for you Molly, day or night. you can tell me anything and I'm an excellent lister. I'm also a great secret keeper."
He gives me his cheeky smile and wink making me lightly laugh. "How are you still single?" I chuckle. He raises one eyebrow while giving me a knowing smile. "I have no idea. I have it all Moll's but all the ladies just want me for my incredible body but not my genius mind or wicked personality." It takes all I have to hold in my laugh. "Those women are just plain stupid then, ain't they!" He eagerly nods agreeing with me. "Dam straight!"
"Why do I get the feeling that you ain't nowhere near ready to settle down, Jack?" Talking to him like this is just what I needed. It's the perfect distraction and gives my poor eyes a break from the relentless crying that I've been doing. "That's because you know me well, Molly."
"You will want it one day Jack, you and I both know it. "
"Yeah sure one day but hell, the girl who'll tie me down hasn't even been born yet." A laugh bubbles it's way out of me at his cheeky humour and I don't think I've ever been more grateful for this guy than right now. "Where is Tom?" Jack's attempt at distracting me worked so well that I completely forgot to ask about him.
He's heading back with Callum, Ma and Dad. In fact, they are properly home now so expect a phone call from Tom any second now." Ahh shit. Tom's going to worry when he gets there and I'm not there, he'll probably think I've left again. "I'm a lousy friend." I don't mean to say the words out loud. "Hey, look at me." Jack's soft tone is not something I've heard often but it immediately has me turning to face him. "You are not Moll's, you have more on your mind than any one person should. Tom knows that and understands."
"I know he does, he's one incredible friend but what if he gets back there and thinks that I've left again?" He shakes his head as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts tapping away at the screen. "There just told him that you are with me and safe so stop worrying, everything is fine."
“Why are you here anyway? This isn't the way to Penny's.”
“I wanted to take the long way back. We got quite a bit done today at the house but it was hard... Seeing so many things destroyed. I guess it just hit me harder than I expected it to. Tom was going back with Cal, Ma and Dad and Christian has gone to get Zack and the kids so I didn't need to bring anyone back so decided on a different route and was passing by here when I saw Tom's truck parked up.”
“Oh, is everything ok with the kids and Zack?” I'm pretty sure that Jack notices that I haven't mentioned Christian and I'm grateful when he doesn't comment on it. "Yeah. Zack's truck wouldn't start when they tried to leave to head home so Christian has gone to get them and to find out what's going on."
We stay at the park for a few more minutes before heading for the trucks to get back to Penny's. "Hey, why don't you come in my truck with me? I'll bring Tom out later to get his truck. He won't mind." I'm quick to take him up on the offer. I feel so drained that the idea of driving again feels like torture.
We drive for a little while in comfortable silence while I try and focus on our surroundings and not let my thoughts wander again. "You still leaving?" Jack's voice startles me for a moment even though his tone is gentle but he somehow suddenly seems tense. "Yeah. I'm going to stay to make sure that Christian gets Katie back ok first but after that, I'll be leaving." He lets out a long sigh before looking back at me. "Molly I understand why you want to leave I do but please reconsider."
Jack is always the lively, bubbly one of the family so seeing this gentle side of him is quite sobering. "I can't Jack, I wish I could. I don't want to leave. I've quickly come to love this place and all of you guys but I can't deal with all the crap that comes with being here anymore, I just don't have it in me."
"Maybe you could just stay a little longer than you planned? See how things turn out." There's an edge to his voice that makes me feel like he knows more than he's letting on but I could be wrong. I shrug my shoulders. "That's not an answer." He smirks before quickly looking back at the road. "I don't know, Jack."
"Will you just think about it... please?" It's hard to say no to him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I stay just a little longer. Tom and his family have been through a lot and the least I could do is stay and help them get back on their feet. They have been there for me and the least that I can do is return the favour.
"I will." He smiles brightly just as we pull onto Penny's property. We come to a stop next to John's truck and the moment we stop the truck Tom appears on the porch smiling wide. I smile back as I undo my belt only that smile instantly drops when I see Christian step out from behind him and head towards us. He keeps walking until he gets to my door then opens and stretches out his hand for me to take.
"Out you come, Moll's."