LITTLE MISS INSECURE
I ran as fast as I could. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Especially not to Dad. Especially not to Kristoff.
How could they do this to me? How could dad hide this thing from me? Didn’t they realize that keeping it a secret from me would make me more upset?
Now, I don’t want to think about anything. I just wouldn’t want to think. I don’t want to think. Because all that is in my mind is how they betrayed me.
Bianca Lee. Of all people, why must it be her?
She is everything I will never be. I am nothing compared to her. She is Kristoff’s ideal type. She is a goddess and they have history. She is the owner of Jewel Shoppe where everyone looks up to.
I shut my eyes as I hailed a cab.
All of these insecurities are setting in. I couldn’t believe I’d be this insecure towards someone. And this person I am insecure of is my sister. I find it really hard to believe.
“Where are we going, Miss?” I heard the cab driver ask.
Yes, where do I intend to go anyway? I don’t know. I feel lost.
“Can you take me to a place where nobody goes?” I asked him back.
He looked at me through the mirror. I know he is confused. Let alone I am crying. I doubt if the driver is thinking straight right now.
“Uh? O…kay,” he replied reluctantly but we drove away from this place. Hell. I want to be away from here.
I want to be alone.
“Miss, I don’t know where to take you so, here. This is the place where there are less people all the time. It is also a hangout of some artists and celebrities. I hope I helped you,” he told me.
I smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Sir,” I replied as I paid and stepped out.
I breathed in the fresh air. Here I am standing in a vast park, near a pond. I don’t understand why there are not a lot of people in here when the view is perfect. For couples, this could even be romantic.
I sighed hard.
Whenever I think of couples, I could only think of Kristoff. And I don’t really like him that much today. And maybe on the coming days…
I walked near the pond and sat on the grass. I don’t care if I am sitting on the bare grass. I could care less of what they think of me now.
I stared at the pond where there are those small fishes swimming. There were designs, too! And lily pods.
Well, at least, I get to stare at this for the saddest moment of my life. And when I say sad, I mean silence.
Extreme silence.
“What is the wife of the famous Kristoff Marx doing here?”
That voice.
I looked at who talked and smiled. He might probably be taken aback now because this is the only time I would smile at him.
“Wow! You actually smiled at me today,” he said as he sat beside me.
I chuckled weakly. “Well, isn’t this your day, Hunter?” I answered him.
He smirked at me. “Well, I guess, this isn’t your day, huh?” He told me.
I smiled weakly as I looked at the pond.
Then there was it again. Silence.
I can’t believe there is silence when I am with Hunter. But really, now that I have someone with me, I feel a bit better. Maybe I don’t need to be alone at all. I just need to be away from Kristoff and my Dad.
I have never imagined that I would be like this when Hunter is around. But he seemed different today. He doesn’t talk much. He doesn’t pester me. He doesn’t bicker with me.
New image, I guess?
“Why are you here?” I spoke.
He looked at me. “Why? You own this place?” he asked me, starting to mock me already.
I rolled my eyes. He should know that I don’t like people mocking me at this moment.
He chuckled. “Okay, okay. I always come here. That’s why,” he told me.
I looked at him. “Always?” I asked him.
He nodded.
“Why?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Well, for one, this place is quiet. And two, no one seems to care about me here. They don’t know me. They don’t recognize me as Hunter. I get to be here as the simple and ordinary Hunter, not the most awesome member of InfiniteX,” he replied.
I raised my brow. “Conceited,” I told him.
“What? You asked me a question. I just answered it.” He beamed.
I gave him a look. “I didn’t ask you to answer that in a conceited manner.” I shot back.
He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. It’s my answer,” he replied, making me glare at him. He looked at me. “What about you? What are you doing here?” he asked me.
I froze at his question. I sighed and looked away as my hands played with the grass.
“What?” he asked me. “Don’t tell me, you and Kristoff Marx are on the rocks now? You were just like lovebirds last night!” He beamed.
I gave him a pointed look. So, he noticed us? I wanted to ask him that but no.
“No,” I replied. “I just happen to know something that I couldn’t take.” I added.
He gave me a look—a confused, questioning look. “Oh. That must be hard,” he said as he threw a rock on the pond.
I was rather shocked that he didn’t ask for more details. Maybe he knew I don’t want someone meddling with my personal life.
I sighed and smiled weakly. “Hunter.” I called.
“What?” he asked.
“What would you do if you knew that the person you are insecure of is someone who you cannot eliminate in your life?” I asked him.
He blinked at me. I think he needed to absorb it. Then he smirked. “Then I would be the one to stay away from that person,” he replied as if it is as easy as that.
He looked at me. “You can’t really live with insecurities in your heart, Ashanti. Sometimes, you have to have faith in yourself,” he told me.
I sighed. “What if you feel really small compared to that person?” I asked.
He gave me a look. This time, he looked a bit disappointed and frustrated.
“Are you belittling yourself, Ashanti?” he asked me.
I looked at him. Somehow, his question hit me—straight to the bones.
“Don’t tell me, you are belittling yourself?” He raised his brow.
I stared at the ground and sighed.
“I don’t know why you are thinking of yourself like that.” He started. “But you know what? Ashanti, out of all the women I knew in my whole life, you are the only one who will do everything for a certain goal. You worked hard for everything you have right now. Your fashion show was one of the best examples for that.” He continued. I listened. “So don’t you ever think that you are less than somebody else when you are everything to someone.” He finished.
I looked at him. For the first time, I have heard Hunter say such inspiring words. This was the first time. And I think I don’t want this to end.
Perhaps, what he said were true. Maybe he is right.
Maybe I shouldn’t be belittling myself. After all, what I think of myself is the only thing that matters.
I smiled and sighed. “You know what? I think you’re right,” I told him.
He smiled at me. “Good,” he said. “I’m glad you think I’m right because I really am,” he added.
I rolled my eyes as he stood up and held my wrist. “Wait, where are you going to take me?” I asked.
He smiled. “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat,” he said. “Treat me lunch, Ms. A-Little-Insecure,” he told me as he pulled to somewhere I don’t know.