KRISTOFF
I know I have hurt Ashanti. I have crushed her heart. I lied to her. I have stepped on her feelings more than I could ever imagine. I have done the worst things a husband could do.
But for everything that I have done, I have a reason.
“Kristoff, I want to talk to you.” Ashanti’s dad, came into my office, Monday last week.
I was shocked because never have I expected Shan’s Dad to appear in my office, any day of the week. But here he is.
I looked at him and led him to the couch. “What is it, Dad?” I asked.
He sighed really hard. “Promise me not to tell Ashanti about this. Don’t tell her that we talked. Not even a sound about this,” he told me with a serious face.
I was intimidated. So, I nodded.
He smiled weakly. For the time that I have known him, this is the first time that I have seen him so problematic. He always seemed to be the jolly one and he always makes time for his family no matter what happens, but now, why does he look so helpless?
“You know Bianca Lee?” he asked me. I nodded. “She is my daughter.”
I was stoned in my seat and stared at him in total shock. “What?” I asked, not minding if it sounds impolite or something. I don’t think I can handle this.
Ashanti’s Dad sighed and brushed his hair. “She is my daughter,” he told me again.
I shook my head. No. I can’t process this.
How could this happen?
“How?” I asked.
“It was a night of mistake. I know. I went to a business trip in China twenty-three years ago and everything got swindled. Her mom asked me to stay away from them since I am married that time, so I did. And besides, I love my wife so much.” He started.
“Then one day, Bianca came to me. She showed herself to me telling me that she is my daughter. Her mother had died because of cancer and she needed my help.” He continued.
I looked at him. I can see his sincerity and I know that he loves Shan and her mom with all his life. But knowing that he can do this, I don’t know what to say.
I, myself, felt betrayed. How much more will my wife and her Mom feel? And why does it have to be Bianca?
“When did Bianca ask for your help, Dad?” I asked.
He looked at me and sighed. “The week when you had to go to China to meet her, it was my fault why you had to go there,” he replied sadly and apologetically.
My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe this. So, he knew this fact for three years now? How could he not tell anyone about this?
“I didn’t tell anyone because I thought she would stop when I help her to make a name for herself.” He continued. “I thought. That’s everything I thought.” He massaged his temples.
“But then, this week, she came to me, telling me she’s sick. She has cancer. Colon cancer.” His voice even cracked. Dad is crying.
I, on the other hand, was busy absorbing everything I knew.
Everything I heard seems to not sink in me. Bianca has colon cancer.
“She actually got her from her mom.” He continued. “And I can’t even do something about it to save her,” he added. “All I can pray now is for her chemotherapy to go well.”
I looked at him. “Is it that bad?” I asked him.
He smiled weakly. “Stage II,” he replied.
I stared at him still in shock. What can we do for Bianca?
“Please don’t tell anyone about this.” He suddenly told me.
“But, Ashanti has to—”
“No.” He shook his head. “I just want you to protect my daughter. I just want you to always be by her side. Don’t leave her no matter what.” He ordered.
I nodded. Of course I would never leave Ashanti. In fact, I have decided to confess about everything I feel for her tonight.
“I won’t, Dad. I will always be there for her. I promise,” I replied seriously.
He smiled and patted my shoulder. “I am glad to hear that. Please. Please do that,” he told me. “Thanks for being there for her, Kristoff,” he said as he stood.
I nodded. “You don’t have to worry about that, Dad,” I told him.
He gave me a small smile and a nod.
And right now, I am looking at Shan’s sleeping figure.
She had been discharged from the hospital to her and my delight. You don’t know how I have been too uncomfortable in the hospital.
Her family is always there and we don’t even have our alone time.
“Kristoff?”
I flinched upon hearing her call me. She rubbed her eyes and sat on the bed. “Why are you still awake?” she asked me.
I smiled. “I want to watch you sleep,” I told her.
She narrowed her eyes on me. “What are you, Edward Cullen?” she asked me.
I chuckled. “I could be if you want me to be,” I told her making her smile.
She looked at me. “Sometimes, I really don’t understand you. You are a big mystery to me, do you know that?” She cupped my face. “I wanted to go away from you. I want to leave you.” She continued. I frowned. Why would she want to leave me?
“But every time you tell me you love me, I forget everything I want to do,” she said as she kissed my cheek.
I smiled at her and held her hands. “I love you to the moon and back. I love you forever, remember that. Sorry that I have to do things to hurt you, but, Ashanti, I never wanted to do anything that would cause you pain. And if ever I hurt you, always remember that I don’t mean anything,” I told her. “Because when you hurt, I am hurting more.” I finished as I kissed her passionately.
I can feel her smiling through the kiss. “I love you, too.” She told me as she broke the kiss.
“And forgive me if I am going to hurt you the next few days,” she said.
I gave her a pointed look. “What?” I asked.
She smiled weakly. “Kristoff, I decided to take care of Hunter because he got injured when he saved me.” She told me.
I can’t believe what I am hearing. Seriously. This week has been the most stressful week in my whole damn existence.
“I am not doing this for him. I am doing this for myself. I wanted to free myself from this guilt.” She explained. “I hope you understand.” She sighed hard and looked into my eyes.
I closed my eyes and nodded. “Okay. I understand,” I replied half-heartedly.
She smiled and hugged me tight. “Sleep beside me tonight.” She whispered.
I smiled and hugged her back.
“Please?” she asked.
I nodded. “Of course I would love to,” I replied.
She smiled at me and moved for me to lie beside her. I immediately hopped in and faced her.
Damn, just looking at her face makes my heart beat a lot faster.
“I love you, Ashanti,” I whispered.
She smiled. “I love you, too, Kristoff.” She responded. And that way, just hearing her words, I feel really complete.
Ashanti Marx, what have you done to my heart?
I smiled and hugged her tight.
I swear to the most high, I will never let her go.