HIS FEELINGS
“Okay. That’s all for today,” I told my employees as I closed the folder and ended the presentation I have been preparing for the past few weeks.
The fashion show is just a day away and I am glad that everything is going well.
I smiled at Min who waited for me at the door.
“Congrats, Shan. You did it!” She beamed as I stopped in front of her. “Finally! Tomorrow, all your hard works will pay off!” She beamed excitedly.
I chuckled and nodded. “It’s not just me though. It’s all of our hard works,” I replied. “We should all celebrate after the show!” I beamed as Min and I started jumping up and down in the office like we are some crazy fan girls going insane over the long-awaited comeback of Block V.
We just stopped jumping when we felt really tired.
“Okay. Let’s stop, I’m tired,” I said as we both laughed.
Min smiled. “Ashanti, I better go. I have dinner with my boyfriend’s family tonight,” she said.
I nodded with wide eyes. “Wow! Good luck! You can do it!” I cheered on her.
She smiled and nodded as she went to her cubicle and took her things. “Bye, Shan!” She waved as she walked to the elevator.
I waved back and waited for her to disappear before going to my office, taking my things.
I walked to my car when I noticed someone following me. I stopped and looked behind me. But no one was there.
“Boo!”
“Oh, my goodness!” I jumped in surprise before looking at the culprit.
And there I saw Hunter Looney laughing his heart out in front of me.
So he was the one following me and he planned to surprise me. And now he prevailed and laughing his ass off, almost falling on the floor.
“Ashanti! You should’ve seen your face!” He mocked as he continued laughing out loud.
I rolled my eyes and walked away. “Crazy jerk.” I muttered as I walked passed him going to my car.
He must have noticed that I am no longer in front of him because he ran to me. “Hey, Shan!” He called but I ignored.
He really doesn’t know anything but to piss me off.
I immediately entered my car and locked all the doors before he could even enter my car.
Hunter ran to the driver’s part of the car and knocked on the window.
I rolled my eyes and looked straight forward, starting the engine and firing away leaving that Jerk Hunter behind. Seriously, I don’t have time to argue with him anymore.
I drove home for approximately thirty minutes because of heavy traffic. I opened the radio and knew that this traffic jam was caused by the arrival of the famous Chinese model Bianca Lee.
I arrived home really tired and sleepy and not to mention hungry.
I looked at Kristoff who was watching really intently at the TV screen. He was holding the remote and he couldn’t stop tapping it.
I was about to speak when I saw a beautiful lady in the TV screen.
It is her.
The Goddess in that restaurant.
At that moment, the Goddess was speaking.
“So, Bianca Lee, what can you say about the Jewel Shoppe Launch tomorrow that will be headed by you?” The reporter asked her.
I narrowed my eyes. So, she is Bianca Lee.
Wait. Bianca? Why does that ring a bell to me?
I thought for a moment before everything finally set in. She is the woman who came here telling Kristoff that he doesn’t love me. She is Kristoff’s ideal type. She is the girl Kristoff likes.
Well, how could he not?
“I am really excited about it. Especially now that I learned that there are a lot of idols coming in the launch.” Bianca Lee replied with her sweet smile.
“You know Kristoff Marx, right? The owner of one of the biggest agencies in Chicago?” The reporter chimed again.
“Yes. Actually, I know everything about him. We have a lot of history.” She even laughed at the end like her statement had some hidden meaning behind it.
I raised my brow over her statement. A lot of history? What is that exactly?
I glanced at Kristoff who was listening intently. I guess he is enjoying. So, they know each other and they have a lot of history. Why don’t they just tell to the whole world that they like each other?
I stayed quiet and kept all my emotions in as I watched further.
“Wow! Can you tell us an example of a history between you two?” The reporter seemed to be very interested. Doesn’t he know that Kristoff is married now? Damn!
“Well, when Kris was in China, we met in a bar. And we all know what happens in a bar. That pretty much is the start of our history.” She was chuckling while reminiscing his moments with my husband.
Damn it!
The TV suddenly shut off and Kristoff stood up only to be shocked to see me standing not so far away from him.
“Ashanti,” He called me with wide eyes, all trails of shock.
I faked a smile. “Good evening!” I tried to sound really cheerful as I fight back the sad feeling in me. Honestly, I wanted to cry now.
Kristoff doesn’t know what kind of facial expression he would show me. I can see the hesitation in his face as he walked towards me. “Have you eaten?” he asked.
I nodded, lying. I actually don’t have the appetite now. “I better go upstairs,” I said. “I want to rest.” I added as I turned to leave.
I walked as fast as I could because the tears are in the corners of my eyes already and in any moment, I know, they are going to fall.
I walked into my room, immediately locked the door and ran to my bed as the tears fell.
I tried my best to suppress all my sobs so Kristoff wouldn’t suspect. I don’t want him to know I feel this way.
I don’t want him to sympathize with my feelings. As much as I want him to love me, care for me and coo me, I can’t bear to have him by my side if all he feels is actually pity for me.
That would hurt my ego, too.
And what best timing does this Bianca Lee have? Why does she have to tell the whole Chicago about this when tomorrow is my biggest day?
She should’ve told the whole Illinois about that after the launch! So that I won’t be able to feel down the day before the fashion show. Damn it! I’d rather Hunter Looney pester me the whole year!
I cried my heart out on my pillow. I have to, I know.
The legal wife is not the legal one in her husband’s heart.
***
I had to put make up on to hide my puffy eyes the next day. It is good that the fashion show will start at seven in the evening. I don’t have to wake up early because that would mean, I will look my worse.
I tried to forget all the things that happened last night and learn to be casual to Kristoff. I don’t want him to think that I feel bad about it because I know that he will sympathize with me if he knew.
I walked out of my room at one in the afternoon and I was surprised to see Kristoff on the couch watching basketball. He looked my way when he sensed my footsteps.
He immediately stood up and walked to me.
“You hungry?” he asked.
I smiled and nodded. “Yes,” I replied as I walked to the dining table.
“Jana, can you give me food please?” I called as I sat waiting for the food.
Kristoff sat across me.
“Are you eating again?” I asked.
“I haven’t eaten anything yet,” he replied. “Since last night,” he added.
My eyes widened. “What? Are you on a hunger strike?” I asked.
He shook his head. “More like you are on a hunger strike.” He retorted.
I gave him a narrowed look. “What?” I asked.
“Shan, you don’t need to hide it. I know that you’ve seen the press conference of Bianca Lee and I know that you heard what she said about me, about us,” he said.
“So? What does that have to do with me?” I asked, trying hard to sound unaffected and casual.
Kristoff gave me a look. “You are my wife. You don’t have to feel all the insecurities,” he said.
I looked at him. I don’t get it.
“You don’t have to feel insecure of anybody because you have me. You are my legal wife.” He stated. “No one can ever change that.” He continued.
I sighed. “You don’t love me. What good is it to be your legal wife? It’s like I am just your wife in papers. But you like someone else.” I asked him as Jana came in with our food.
Kristoff just stared at me, like he wanted to say something. But it never came.
We ate quietly. And honestly, I was starting to lose my appetite again. But I had to eat because I haven’t eaten since yesterday and I would collapse if I didn’t ingest anything now.
I was done before I know it and stood up. “Good luck to you and the Jewel Shoppe launch,” I said before walking to the sink.
When I was about to walk out of the dining area, Kristoff blocked my way.
I looked at him. “What?” I asked.
But Kristoff just stared back at me, saying nothing.
I sighed. “If you don’t have anything to tell me, then, we’ll see each other tomorrow morning,” I said as I tried to walk pass him but he blocked me again.
He looked deep in my eyes. “Ashanti, you don’t know anything about my feelings, don’t you?” he asked me.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “No, Kristoff. As a matter of fact, I know everything you are feeling. You know from the first time that I like you. You asked me to be your fake girlfriend and you even agreed on marrying me. I don’t know why but somehow I am grateful because I get to be with someone I like even if he doesn’t feel the same way,” I said as I found a space for me to walk.
But then, he held my wrist and pulled me to him.
With his lips landing on mine.