MAKE UP
Acceptance. An easy word to speak, a hard one to do. And what makes it harder is the fact that you don’t want to accept it. You resist that certain force to accept what is presented to you.
As for me, that is what is happening.
I am trying my best to try to convince myself to accept the reality but it just wouldn’t work. Every time I think about it—every time I think about her—everything in me just repulses. Like every cell in my body hates me for even considering the idea of accepting her into the family.
It’s not like Bianca has done something really bad to me. But yeah, she somehow did. When she broadcasted in the whole Chicago that she and Kristoff had this history, she had done the worst thing to me.
I just couldn’t get the fact that she knew that we are sisters—half-sisters—and she still came into our house, begging Kristoff to choose her. Well, aside from the broadcast of course.
I just don’t get it. What is she trying to do? What is she trying to say?
That she is better than me? That she can get everything that I don’t? That she can get the love I can’t have?
Okay. So maybe she does. Maybe she has everything I don’t have. Maybe she had Kristoff. Maybe she has my Dad’s trust. And probably my mom’s as well—since she is begging me to accept her as my half-sister.
Can’t she just leave my life the hell alone? Go the hell to a faraway place and leave me with a peaceful life?
I am not even a threat to begin with. Why does she want everything that I have?
First, Kristoff. Second, Dad. And yeah, why have I forgotten that she set the date of her launch the same as my fashion show, taking all the models away?
God! She took everything away from me. I can’t believe she did. And I can’t believe I am still considering accepting her as my half-sister. I can’t believe myself.
I sat on the hospital bed as I am watching Mom, Dad and Bianca talk happily about something in the sofa. It is my second day in the hospital—and my family is visiting me again. I don’t know why I am here for this long but heck. I just want to go home.
Wow. They almost looked like a family. Except the fact that Bianca is not my mom’s daughter.
I sighed.
“Eat these apples, Ashanti,” Kristoff spoke as he gave me the apples he was peeling.
I looked at him and smiled weakly. “Thanks,” I said, not starting an argument.
Truth is, I don’t want to argue anymore. I don’t want to fight with anyone anymore. Not now, that I am about to accept someone.
Kristoff looked at me as if he had seen a ghost.
I blinked at him. “What?” I asked in confusion as he is staring at me with wide eyes.
He smiled and shook his head. “Nothing.” He retorted as he looked into my eyes. “It’s just that I missed you smiling at me.” He continued.
I know I cracked a smile because he was looking with a wider smile. This is not really what I wanted to do. I wanted to draw at least a small, invisible wall between us because I don’t want him to think that we are that close again.
But, I swear to all the ones in the heavens, when I see him smile at me, all my defenses are falling down. Seriously, I can’t really trust myself when it comes to this guy.
He doesn’t know how much I was trying to hold myself from hugging him that day. I wanted to cry on his arms so much, so, so much. But hell, I was trying to kill myself. I was fighting with my heart. I was controlling everything it says.
And I plan to do that tactic until now. But then, here he is, flashing his handsome and bright smile in front of me, making me melt bit by bit. Making me lose all the control on my feelings again.
He tucked my hair behind my ear. “That’s better. I like you better when you are smiling like that, Baby,” he told me, making me blush in the darker shade of red.
Hey, Kristoff, what the hell are you doing to me?
I can’t help but smile and look away after these sweet things he is doing to me. I may sound like a bipolar who likes it now and then not like it later but hell. I don’t really care about it now.
Because I am liking everything. And I can’t really hide that fact in front of Kristoff.
I heard him chuckle as I was trying to calm my endorphins down. From the time he had said he loves me, everything changes. Or not?
Suddenly, knocks where heard from the door. Kristoff went and opened it.
“Hey you, Ashanti!”
I was rather shocked to hear Genevieve’s loud voice. Of course, who could shout at me like that? Only Genevieve.
She seemed to be stoned in her spot when she went in and saw Bianca and my parents looking her way. She doesn’t know anything but from that look in her face I know that she is wondering why Mom and Dad are talking to a famous person named Bianca Lee.
She probably would kill me later because I haven’t told her about it and I have narrated every single thing that happened to me to Hunter, who I don’t know his condition right now.
Genevieve eventually bowed politely. “Oh! Good day, Aunt, Uncle and…” she eyed Bianca. “… Bianca Lee?” She continued unsure.
Mom, Dad and Bianca all bowed back and greeted back.
I am starting to worry for myself when Genevieve laid her eyes on me. Her eyes full of emotions. She is sending me a meaningful and fierce look.
Chester appeared out of nowhere and went to Kristoff, of course.
Genevieve walked towards me after greeting my parents. “Hey, do you know how worried I was?” she asked me in a high pitch tone. And believe me, when I say high pitch. It is really high pitch.
And as worried as she sounds, I know she is feeling anger more than worry. I know she is going to kill me now. One, I am in the hospital. Two, I didn’t tell her something important.
Double kill.
“I thought you went home! It was just last night when I knew that you are in the hospital!” She began to rant. “And do you know who told me?” she asked me. I shook my head.
Yes, who would tell her?
“Martin!” She beamed. “I was shocked to have a call from that despicable guy but I was more shocked when I knew that you and Hunter got into a commotion and he ended up fracturing his left arm because he tried to save you from a vehicle coming your way because you are drunk!” She continued ranting.
My eyes widened. “What?” I asked in disbelief.
I didn’t know Hunter broke his arm because he tried to rescue me.
I looked at Kristoff who is looking away right now. I was asking him yesterday about Hunter but he keeps on telling me not to ask about him.
I scoffed. I can’t believe this.
Hunter saved me and sacrificed himself but I didn’t even know anything about it.
Genevieve gave me a look. “You don’t know?” she asked me. I shook my head. She sighed hard and shut her eyes. “And even if this makes you guiltier, I have to tell you that they are supposed to launch their comeback in two weeks.” She added.
I almost choked on her words. Oh my goodness. What have I done to Hunter Looney? With an injured arm, he wouldn’t be able to dance on stage.
I stared at Genevieve with a really shocked expression. I didn’t really know a thing.
I didn’t know he would be hurt that bad.
“Can I see him? I want to see him.” I begged.
Genevieve glanced at Kristoff quickly. She sighed. “Hunter doesn’t want to see you, really. He is still shocked about what happened,” she said. “And he wants you to rest.” She added.
I gave her a questioning look. “No. I want to see him.” I reiterated.
Genevieve gave me a please-don’t-insist-now look then looked at Kristoff. I’m pretty sure, Kristoff doesn’t want me to see Hunter now. So, I looked at him and stared into his eyes. “Please?” I pleaded.
Kristoff sighed and massaged his temple. “Okay. Okay. You’ll see him later,” he said and I smiled. “But rest now, first.” He instructed.
I smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Kristoff,” I replied as I lied on the bed again. Kristoff tucked me in. Perhaps, he is really consistent in his sweetness.
But right now, my mind is all over Hunter Looney. And how much I blame myself for what happened to him. I will make it up to him. I promise. I may hate him really well but he has made me feel better these past few days. So, yeah. I’m going to be kind to him.