SORRY
Just as when the boys left, Kristoff entered the office with something unreadable in his face. He looked like he was mad but he was more worried than angry.
“Ashanti,” he started as I went back to my chair.
I looked at him as I sat. “What’s up?” I asked him, trying to act cool and normal.
Kristoff gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “What are you apologizing for?” I asked innocently.
He leaned on my table with his hands. “Don’t pretend you don’t know,” he said. “Chester told me everything.” He continued.
I nodded. “It’s all under control now,” I replied as I planned on how to kill Chester and Genevieve later. “We have found artists to model already.” I added.
Kristoff looked at me. I don’t know how to describe the look he gave me. Was it sorry? Was it sadness? Was it guilt?
I don’t know.
And surprisingly, I don’t care.
“I am really sorry, Shan. I will make it up to you,” he said.
I smiled and shook my head. “It’s fine,” I replied sincerely. “We never signed a contract regarding your artists so it’s fine. It was my fault in the first place. I should’ve made a proposal and a letter of request.” I continued.
He looked at me. “Shan, please, don’t be like this.” He uttered in a pleading voice. It’s like I am hurting him now.
I gave him a look. “What am I like right now?” I asked.
“That,” he said. “Don’t be cold to me.” It seems like he is pleading when I know that he’s just guilty because of what he has done. He has the right to be, anyway.
I narrowed my eyes on him. Look who’s talking about coldness here. “I am not cold,” I replied. “I am not a fan of cold treatment. Because that is what you do.” I didn’t know where my strength came from when I said that.
He looked at me, dumbfounded. I think he is thinking of a better reply…if he could even retort to that.
“What else do you want to say?” I asked. “I am busy preparing for the fashion show.” I added.
He shook his head and sighed heavily. “I’ll see you at home. We’ll talk at home.” He turned to leave. “Shan, don’t think that I am treating you coldly. I don’t like that thought,” he said as left finally.
I sighed hard and plopped on my swivel. That was intense. I held my beating heart. That was tough. I wonder what we will talk about when I get home. Should I prepare myself?
***
The time passed and I so was I. I woke up with a folder beneath my cheek. Yes, I slept at work. When I looked at the time, it is already nine-thirty in the evening. I should’ve been home at seven!
I checked my phone and saw a lot of messages from Kristoff. My phone said sixty-seven new messages and seventy-eight missed calls.
I scrolled the messages and read them all. He was asking me where I am. He was telling to not overwork myself because I just got sick. And the rest of the messages had the same thought with the first ones.
I immediately stood up and took all my things and prepared to go home. I don’t know why but there is this scared feeling in me. I feel like I have committed a grave sin and now, I am going to face my judgment. Maybe because this is the first time Kristoff sent me a lot of messages and for once, I think, he is really worried. Or maybe because I am not ready to talk to him yet.
I drove as fast as I could to reach home immediately. Well, it’s a new record for me. I was home in just ten minutes.
I walked to the door and noticed that the light in the living room is still on. I wondered why because Kristoff usually does not use the living room. He’s always either in his room or in his office. He was always alone. Or maybe he’s doing something that needs to be done alone.
I took a deep breath as I held onto the knob. Maybe, his friends are here. I opened the door and Kristoff appeared with his arms crossed on his chest. He is looking straight at me.
“Where have you been, Ashanti? You should’ve been here at seven-thirty,” he said as I looked down.
“Sorry. I slept at work,” I replied without looking at him. Looking at him would mean I’d get lost in his eyes and forget about what he’s done to my fashion show. Looking at his eyes would mean suicide for me.
He sighed. “You should’ve texted me when you read all your messages! I was scared to death!” He yelled at me in frustration. “You should know that I am worried because I am your husband!” He yelled again.
I even flinched at the volume of his voice. “Sorry,” I said with my voice softer.
He sighed and held my hand, leading me to the kitchen. I looked at him shocked. What is he trying to do? What is happening all of a sudden?
He let me sit in front of all the food in the table. I looked at him, with his poker face on. He sat across me. “Eat,” he told me.
I nodded and sighed. I don’t really want to eat now when he is around. He intimidates me with his cold and authoritative aura. His gaze makes him even more dominant. I feel small…and awkward.
But I took some food, without a choice. We ate in silence. No one wanted to talk. Or was he waiting for the right timing to talk? There’s no way I am going to talk first.
He coughed. Okay so maybe he is going to talk now, after fifteen long minutes.
“Ashanti, I’m sorry that I yelled at you a while ago. It was just that I was really worried because it is two hours past your office hours and you didn’t notify me that you are going overtime,” he said.
I nodded.
He sighed. “Shan,” He said as he leaned to reach my hand, which I retreated. I can see that he is shocked on what I did.
“Baby, is there a problem between us?” he asked.
I looked at him trying to not waver at how he called me baby yet again. “Is there us here?” I asked back.
He frowned. I know he did. And for once, I think I saw his disappointed look. “Ashanti, don’t be like this,” he told me, his hands are on the table now. “Why are you acting weird?” he asked.
I was somehow pissed at how he asked me why I am weird right now. I looked at him and shook my head. “I am not acting weirdly,” I replied. “I was really preoccupied with the fashion show.” I explained.
He looked at me. “Sorry about the idol incident,” he said. “I really didn’t know—”
“It’s fine.” I cut him. “You don’t have to apologize. It is my mistake in the first place,” I said because I wanted this conversation to end. Arguing with him is not in my options.
He gave me a queer look. “No. I am not going to stop apologizing until that freaking Jewel Shoppe Launch and your fashion show is over and successful,” he replied.
I shrugged. “Okay,” I replied, coldly. I don’t know. I, myself, am getting shocked at what I am showing him. It’s like there is something inside me that makes me do things like this.
It’s like I’m mean or something. But the truth is, I feel good that I am learning to be like this now. At least, I can show a different side of me in front of Kristoff. Not just the obsessed one.
I hate that part of me.
I sighed and looked at him. “Is that all that you are going to say?” I asked.
He just stared at me, probably still shocked at what I am doing.
I sighed and stood up. “Okay. Good night. I’ll be going ahead,” I said as I took my plate and walked off to the sink.
There is this heavy feeling in my heart right now. And when I see Kristoff, all I can see is him and another girl. Perhaps, it is good that I haven’t seen that Bianca’s face. At least I am not going to stalk her.
I walked upstairs and to my door when I noticed a presence behind me.
“Ashanti.” Kristoff said in almost a whisper.
I stopped but didn’t look at him. My heart is beating really fast. My system is quivering and is already on the verge of collapsing. But then he called me again and I thought I needed to look at him to make him stop clinging on to me now.
But as I looked back, I was pulled into a tight hug. My heart was racing even faster. I don’t know how to control it. I am in Kris’ arms right now. I can smell his scent. I can even hear his heart. And I know that it is beating fast as well.
“Good night,” he said in a husky voice as he slowly broke the hug off.
I looked in his eyes and saw sincerity in his words. But I don’t want to be sure. “Good night,” I replied as I immediately entered my room.
I leaned on the door and held my beating heart.