BRING IT BACK
“You should look into the one you bumped to when you apologize, Ashanti.”
I looked at Kristoff who was looking directly at me. His perfect features are still as perfect as ever and his handsomeness never even shred off.
Didn’t he even get lost when I went out of his life?
He looks so damn fine. And I am wondering if he ever wept when I was gone.
As for me, I tried my best not to get lost in his eyes. I had to take control over my emotions. I can’t lose now. Not when I kept telling everyone that I am the new Ashanti. I can’t lose everything I have learned just because I am in front of Kristoff now.
I flashed a wide smile at him. “Sorry, Mr. Kristoff Marx.” I repeated as I bowed. “Sorry, I think you didn’t call me in my name. I’m Ashanti Michaels, not Marx.” I corrected him.
Kristoff raised his brow at me. “I wasn’t wrong,” he replied. “You are Ashanti Marx.” He insisted.
I pressed my lips in a firm line as I sighed from within. “Sorry, I think you’ve mistaken.” I calmly insisted that he was wrong.
Seriously, I didn’t even want to talk to him but he kept making this conversation longer. I can’t even say a word!
Kristoff smirked. “No, I think you are the one at fault.” He was not ready for defeat. I was about to say something else when he blew again. “I haven’t signed the divorce papers yet.” He beamed.
My eyes narrowed at him. “Then sign it so I can get my surname back,” I replied as I turned to the restroom’s direction.
He really knows how to piss me off. Until now, he is still good at it.
“Do you really want your surname back?” he asked out of the blue.
I stopped in my tracks and looked back at him. “Yes. So sign the darn papers,” I replied.
He smirked. “I don’t want to give it to you,” he said. “I don’t want you to have it back.” He continued.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “And why is that?” I asked.
He looked at me seriously. He cocked his head. “Because you haven’t given me my heart back,” he replied before leaving me in the hallway dumbfounded.
I sighed hard as I entered the restroom. I just wanted to end this night well but why is this happening? Why do I have to bump into him in the first place? I don’t deserve any of this!
And this heart. Why does it still so stupidly whenever he is around? Have I not gotten over him yet?
But I did! What the hell is happening to me?!
I washed my face several times to bring myself back to reality—to wash out all the feelings. If only it could do that.
I sighed hard as I leaned on the sink and stared at myself. “Ashanti, you can do this.” I cheered myself on. Well, that’s the only thing I could do. I took a deep breath for one last time before walking out of the restroom.
You’ve got this, Ashanti.
I nodded at myself and walked out. I looked at Hunter who was busy waving at his fans outside.
I shook my head at him. He’s a real celebrity.
But then I noticed some group of people sitting right behind my place with Hunter.
Then it clicked. Chester was waving to me enthusiastically, Thad was even calling me. I shut my eyes as I realized that it was Kristoff’s friends.
Hunter looked at me, giving a sorry look. I sighed hard and walked to him. Well, I can’t make them get out of here, can I?
“Sorry. I couldn’t do anything,” he told me.
I nodded and smiled. “What are you talking about? It’s fine!” I assured him. Well, it has to be fine right? Because I shouldn’t be feeling something for Kristoff right now.
Hunter gave a look. “I don’t really believe you, you know that?” He told me.
I faked a laugh. “What? You should believe on me, Hunter,” I replied. “And besides, you’re right. You can’t do anything if they want to sit here or there.” I added.
Hunter still didn’t look convinced but he let it go. But I know he will interrogate me later. Luckily, the steak came and we just have to eat. At least we just have to eat.
But heck, since I sit in front of Hunter and Kristoff’s troupe sit behind him, I am the one facing the boys right now. How can I even eat?
I stupidly glanced behind Hunter and locked eyes with Kristoff. Apparently, he was looking at me since I started to sit in front of Hunter. His eyes never left me. I know. I have peripheral vision, too.
“Shan, eat your food,” Hunter told me, breaking my contact with Kristoff.
I looked at him and nodded. “I know,” I replied as I ate my food awkwardly.
Damn. Why doesn’t he take his eyes off me!? I am getting conscious here. I want the world to divide into two and just eat me alive.
“Don’t mind him. Composure,” Hunter said quietly.
I looked at him and pouted. “I am trying,” I replied hopeless.
He chuckled. “What the hell, Ashanti! You eat like a child!” He said as he wiped the steak sauce at the side of my mouth. He gave me a teasing smile.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Hey! Don’t do that when your fans are watching! They might kill me!” I told him pointing at his fans who looked shocked as they saw what Hunter did.
He chuckled and looked at his fans. He suddenly took his phone and typed something then showed it to his fans, making the fans smile and nod in approval.
I looked at him, questioning. “Hey, what did you tell them?” I asked curiously.
He shrugged and kept his phone.
I gaped at him. “Hey!” I called him but he just shrugged.
***
Hunter took me home after eating all the steak and giving hell of a lot of fan service. Of course he should. He should learn to be a gentleman.
“Good night,” he told me as I walked him to the doorstep.
I smiled and nodded. “Drive safely,” I told him.
“I know that, Ms. Johnstone.” He teased as he placed his shoes on. “See you next time.” He flashed a smile before opening the door.
I looked at him. “Hunter,” I called.
He stopped and looked at me. “What?” he asked.
“Seriously, what did you tell your fans?” I asked him. Really, I was curious.
He chuckled. “Nothing. Just told them what a great friend you are to me,” he replied smiling.
I looked at him, feeling if he is joking or not. But he seems serious. “Oh, I am way beyond great and you know that,” I told him confidently.
He scoffed. “I bet you’re talking about me and my greatness,” he said before leaving. “Bye, Shan.” Then he left.
I locked the door and fixed myself for bed. This night was a total disaster. Bumping into Kristoff is just too much for me to handle. And I even thought I already moved on.
I was about to go to bed when I heard my doorbell ring.
“Who comes to me right at this moment?” I asked myself as I looked at the monitor. “There’s no one,” I said, thinking it was a prank. Or someone might have just mistaken the room number.
But when I was about to let it go, the doorbell rang again.
I sighed and looked at the monitor but no one was there. “What the hell? Is someone playing pranks on me?!” I started to be annoyed. I went to the door and opened to check it once and for all.
I opened the door only to be pinned on the wall inside my eyes.
My eyes widened as I saw a drunken Kristoff in front of me. His eyes locked on mine. And I am trapped between his muscular body and the wall.
“K-Kristoff, what are you doing here?” I stammered.
However, he didn’t respond. He just looked at me. He seems like he wants to say something but he never talked.
I sighed and tried to push him off me. “Kristoff!” I yelled at him. “What are you doing?!” I asked.
This time he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “Stop,” he said. I looked at him. “Stop making me jealous. Stop it!” He yelled at me. “I can’t do it anymore, Ashanti. I can’t do it anymore.” He kept on repeating his words.
I shook my head and looked at him. His eyes are glistening. His nose is red. Has he been crying the whole time? What is he doing in front of me?
“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” Kristoff was crying.
I softened as I saw him like this. I wanted to hug him to make him feel better but that would not make me feel better after. I am afraid I won’t be able to control myself.
Kristoff looked at me and held my face. “Let’s stop this, okay?” he asked me as tears fell down from his cheeks.
I sighed. “What do we have to stop? We don’t exist anymore,” I told him.
As much as I want to make him feel better, I wanted to present reality. We are nobody to each other now. Okay, so maybe we are still husband and wife because he hasn’t signed the divorce papers yet but I am not acting as his wife anymore.
“Sshh.” He placed his index finger on my lips. “Don’t talk,” he told me.
“Then just tell me what you are talking about!” I yelled at him. Seriously, I have work tomorrow and he is ruining everything.
“I love you!” He blurted out, looking straight into my eyes. “I am still so motherfucking in love with you and I know that you still love me, too,” he said. “Ashanti, let’s stop this break okay?” He was begging me.
Just like how he did last time.
“I thought if I preoccupied myself with work, with Bianca, I would forget about you. But no. That just made me miss you so fucking much.” He stared deep into my eyes. “I missed going home knowing that my wife is waiting for me. I missed eating the foods you cook, even though you don’t cook that well. I missed watching you sleep. I missed sleeping beside you. I missed hugging you. I missed kissing you. I missed everything about you.” He ranted. “Don’t you miss me at all?” he asked.
I swallowed at his question. Of course, I do. Did he think I was that heartless? I have loved him all my life and it is not easy to forget about him.
He laughed weakly. “I thought it was best for me to stay away from you since you don’t seem to love me anymore, since you said it was hard for you to live with me around. But no. It was the worst decision I have ever made in my life.” His voice cracked. “I shouldn’t have given up. I should’ve pursued you more. I should’ve exerted more effort enough to make it difficult for you to leave me behind. I should’ve convinced you more instead of letting you go.” He continued as I was stoned in between his arms. “I should’ve known how hard it is to live without you.”
“Can’t you just let me love you? Can’t you just endure my presence even if it pissed you so much?” he asked. “Can’t you just…” he paused as his eyes trailed to my lips. “…let me kiss you and make you feel that you want to bring it back?” he asked as his lips crashed on mine.