Logan
I'm so damn pissed off right now. I was unsure who I was madder at; Sophie, or Amber. I thought Amber had changed, I thought she was a friend. She seemed so sincere and seemed to changed her ways throughout the years, she's helped me so much. We both have been there to help each other as friends. She sure as fuck showed me otherwise today. She manipulated and used me for her own damn benefit.
And Sophie? I felt like she truly let me down by falling for Amber's shit as well. She was so fucking smart, we stuck together through all our struggles, all our ups, and downs. How could she let Amber deceive her so easily? Was my love not enough for her to trust in me? I feel like such a fucking idiot.
I wanted to go off on her so bad. I feel so damn desperate right now. What am I supposed to do with all this news? Nathan? He's mine... He really is MINE.
He's such a cute kid. Every time I'd see him with his nanny, he'd bring a smile to my face. He'd come close to talk to me and wave at me from afar. Likewise, I couldn't help but smile and wave at him. First I thought he was just a cute kid. But then I saw him at the park with Sophie that day and since then.....I couldn't keep him off my mind. God, how I hoped he was mine when I did my math and saw he had to have been conceived during June because I found his birthday is March 5th, and he's six years old. Which puts him in the same month gap between the time we graduated high school, and his birthday, till today.
"Hey, Lexie? Could you take Nathan inside for a nice dessert for me, while Sophie and I have a nice chat?" I asked Alexa as she neared us after Amber had left. "Yeah, of course. Come on kiddo, would you like a slice of chocolate cake?" She asked, making him look at us with concern.
"It's ok, buddy. We'll just talk for a little and join you for lunch, ok?" I assured him, smiling and messing his hair. He then looks at Sophie and pouts his lips. "Go, it's ok. I'll see you inside, ok baby? Dad and I are just going to talk for a bit."Sophie assured him. He let go of Lexie and ran, hugging me around my waist. I smiled, and picked him up, hugging him tightly. He's mine, my son.
Soon as they went inside, I couldn't help but pull her flushed against me, claiming her lips. Her hands slowly trailed my chest. Fuck, I missed this. We parted gasping for air, her lips were pink and swollen, making a bright smile on my face. "This doesn't mean you're forgiven. I'm still pissed off at you." I told her making her turn her head down. Her eyes watching every movement of my lips.
"I know, I'm sorry Logan, I really am." I placed my forehead against her, clenching my jaw. "I just...don't understand. Why, Soph? Why did it take you so fucking long to tell me the truth? How could you do this to me? After all we went through? I thought we had passed the insecurity in our relationship?"
"We had, it's just.."
"We obviously didn't. Or you wouldn't have run away like a coward. I needed you, Soph. We had promised to make things work, no matter what." I raised my voice slightly in desperation. I had so many questions I needed answers to. Now, more than ever.
"I was scared, Logan," she uttered out. "Scared? Scared of what, Sophie?"
"Of everything. I was scared of everything. You were on your way to NYU with a full scholarship to play football. You had plans to go to law school, and double in art major." Her face began to fill with tears. "I was suddenly pregnant. A baby would have set back all those plans. Believe me, it took me so long to get my career done. While all of you thrived and went about your normal life, I struggled to keep afloat. To take care of Nathan on my own," her rears let flowing, making my heart ache tremendously.
"And all that I did means nothing to me now. I would have preferred to have you and our baby while struggling together to get our career done and raising him together than to have missed seven years in my son's life. Do you have any idea how I feel right now? I missed his first steps, the sleepless nights, the first everything with him. I missed the opportunity to see your belly growing, your morning sickness....EVERYTHING! I missed it all. And all because you were too fucking egoistic. I had the right to know."
"Logan I'm sorry." she held my chest. "You should be." I grabbed her arms, pulling myself away, and loosened my tie.
"What are we supposed to do now? I want to be in his life. You can't keep me away from him, I won't allow you to keep him away."
"Logan, that is not my intention. I've been wanting to tell you since I came back, and believe me, guilt has been eating me alive. I won't leave this time, I promise." she replied making me feel hopeful. I was ready to pull her back in and give her another kiss when a voice startled us.
"Logan? I thought that was you, babe. What are you doing out here? I thought I'd find you with the boys inside." fucking hell. I had completely forgotten about Roxie. I had told her to help me get Sophie jealous by acting like my girlfriend whenever she was around. "Roxie," I managed to utter out before she came in front of me and kissed me on my lips.
"Babe?....Roxie?" Sophie whispered out making her part away from me and wink her eye before turning to Sophie. "Roxie, no, wait,"
"Hi, Sophie right? I remember you, we met at the store the other day. How are you?" she asked Sophie with a smile. Sophie glanced at me with pain in her eyes, realization dawning on me... I just fucked up my chance to get her back.
"I'm....I'm fine. Logan is your boyfriend? The one you said you've been seeing for the last few months?" she asked Roxie. Roxie slipped her hand around my waist, pulling me against her. "Um, yes. Do you two know each other? I mean, I'm assuming you do, you were out here talking, right? How do you know her babe?" she turned to glance at me, acting pensively.
"Roxie, Sophie is-"
"I have to go. It was nice seeing you again Roxie, you too, Logan," she says walking away from us and towards the diner. "Sophie, wait." I tried to call out to her, but Roxie pulled me back, kissing me again as she saw Sophie turn. I pulled away and saw her closing the door behind her. "FUCK!"
"So, how did we do?" Roxie asked with a smile on her face. "Roxie, ... Sophie and I were talking about something extremely important, and we almost got back together." I sneered, running my hands through my hair and pulling my tie off. "Oh, well, that's good right?"
"Yeah.., obviously not. Now she thinks you and I really are dating. You ruined my chance Rox." I said walking away from her. "Sorry," Roxie called out behind me. I needed to go back inside and explain to her. To tell her it was just a joke and a misunderstanding by Roxie. She doesn't mean anything to me, other than a good friend.
I walked inside, averting my sight everywhere trying to find her. "Sophie? Sophie, let me talk to you, please? Let me explain." I said grabbing her arm. She pulls away, looking at me completely pissed off. "There's nothing you need to explain Logan. I get it, I knew you weren't going to sit around waiting for me to come back one day. You had the right to move on. But why the hell did you kiss me? Why play along when you knew you already had a girlfriend? You made me feel like the lowest scum letting me kids you while having a girlfriend."
"Roxie is not my girlfriend Sophie."
"Oh, really? Because it looked like the complete opposite back there? Look..." she says grabbing Nathan's sweater off the counter. "Roxie is a great girl. You deserve to be with someone like her. It hurts me to say this, but our time passed. And it's something I will have to live with, no matter how much it hurts. We are both adults, and we have an amazing son together, I want you in his life, even if you and I are not together anymore. Please, let's just forget that we ever kissed today. I will set a meeting with you some other time so we can talk about Nathan. From now on, that is the only thing that will keep us connected. Nothing else. I wish you and Roxie the best." she says, grabbing Nathan's arm and hoisting him up on her arms to hug him.
His little eyes were darkened and filled with sadness. "Nathan, Sophie, wait...please?" I call out to them, but she continued to walk away. "Just give her time, Logan. If you're not serious with this Roxie girl, then you need to come clean to her. But if so, then I'm sorry... But what you just did was messed up. Sophie is right, you need to get yourself straight. Until you do, the only thing that should matter to you is trying to spend time with Nathan. Our cubby bear needs his dad. He needs you, Logan." Lexie added before leaving behind Sophie.
I stood there in that diner, speechless. What the hell am I supposed to do now? A part of me wanted to wait to take her back, to teach her a lesson. Letting her know that what she did was wrong. But now that all this just happened, I just want to hold her in my arms in hopes everything was ok between us.
I should have never agreed to Troy and Roxie's plan. I knew it would soon backfire, and it did not only do so, but now I feel like we just took a hundred steps back instead of us getting closer. Lexie's right, I need to spend time with my son. I need to focus on him, on his needs and wants. Don't care who tells me I'm wrong, but I'm definitely going to spoil the shit out of my kid.
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