Athena
"Alpha, we are sorry but your mate suffered a miscarriage." The faint voice of a female buzzed into my ears.
Despite having half of my consciousness lost somewhere in the dark, the news left me paralyzed. The surface underneath me felt stone cold like a rock, my body refused to move, my eyes wouldn't open and in my perturbation I keep trying to feel my baby's presence, convincing my ears that what they had heard was a lie but every time I was struck with the truth that hurt me more than any weapon in this world could.
At one moment, it felt like I would never be able to remove this weight off of my body and get up, deep down, the thought of watching myself die underneath this crushing weight began to settle but then, another voice spoke.
"Okay," It was his voice, low and calm, however, unsuccessful in masking the ache behind it, "How month was....our child?"
"One month. Just like typical werewolf embryos, your child was at its developing phase too and unfortunately, it couldn't survive the events your mate went through," She spoke, "There's nothing we could do, till you brought her here, it was already too late."
A long silence fell into the room, except for my loud thought and the deadly darkness draped over my eyes. There was nothing else I could do rather than drown in it, yet I fought hard to get rid of the weight that pinned me down to this surface that I supposed was a bed, however, where I was or what my surroundings were the least of my concern.
My mind only repeated one thing over and over again— My baby could not be dead.
But what if this lady was telling the truth?
Suddenly, my eyes flew open. My limbs no longer remained paralyzed, instead of the darkness, it was the rays of the sun that percolated the room I found myself in— It was Sebastian's room. The same bloody mansion of his.
"Okay, you may--"
"No! It can't be!" I shot up, my voice cutting him off in the middle of his word with the doctor.
"Athena..." He walked over to me as far as he could, and as he attempted to get close to me, perhaps with the intention of pulling me in his arms, I backed away.
"No, don't fucking touch me!" I hurriedly got off of the bed despite the fact I could barely find any stability in my body.
"Listen to me, love. Your condition is really fragile right now, please try to understand," His eyes softened, and his tone and words held a strange warmth that I had once craved but today, it made me feel nothing but disgust.
"Love? Wow, Sebastian! How come there is such a change? Wasn't a slave, a worthless wolf, a whore, the bloody names that you prefer to use when calling me?!" I chuckled, today my tone had the same venom as his, "What has changed then? You left your damn curse and now you want to act like the most loving man in the world?!"
He looked hurt. Deeply hurt and saddened in a way that his face told the least about, not that I wished to know about it.
I didn't care about anything about my baby. And right now, only one piece of news could fix me, only one assurance was all I needed— That I still had the baby. I didn't lose that precious soul and...I was still a mother.
Before Sebastian could speak, I rushed to the doctor standing at the corner.
"Hey, the report, it's false right?" I held her hands, my hands shook vigorously, my words trembling, words giving away my anxiousness more than I wanted to let on, "Tell me. It's false, isn't it? I still have the baby, no?"
Sympathy shone in her eyes. She suffered in hesitancy. What to say didn't occur to her at all cause all I saw was her trying to figure out a response she could have possibly given me at this moment.
"Answer me!" Losing the last drop of sanity I had left, I grabbed her arms, and violently shook her.
Afraid she finally blurted out, "I am sorry. You lost the baby."
"No," Sheer disbelief pronounced itself in my scream, "You are lying! I can't lose the baby."
"I am not lying," She softly spoke, gently removing my hands away from her, "It's the truth, mam."
"No it's not the truth," I sobbed, falling on my knees, "I can still feel it, it still feels like it's in my belly. My baby...it can't be gone. My baby was supposed to be with me, stay with me— I had planned a life for us."
"Mam, please calm down..." She tried to get close to me.
"NO! Go away!" I shouted, loud, "You all took away my baby. You all did it on purpose....none wished to see me happy, none." Tears streamed down my face, my distress clouded my brain and my heart felt heavy. So heavy that I wished I could detach it from my body just so I could avoid the pain.
I never thought I'd lose my baby. Never, even when I hadn't learned about my pregnancy, I never imagined a day like this would block my way and shatter me like this.
The doctor glanced Sebastian's way. Even though I could not see his face, I could feel his emotions for this sick mate bond that tied us to each other, and for some preposterous reasons, I knew that he was on the verge of letting go of the tears that I hadn't bothered to look until when the doctor left upon his nod of approval and he walked over to me.
He sat on his knees, in front of me, his head hung low and his eyes never moved up to meet mine. It occurred to me— He was ashamed of himself. His guilt was eating him from within, he was suffering, even getting destroyed from within but he couldn't utter a word because it was his fire that burned everything to ashes. It was he who was responsible for everything.
It was he who was the reason behind the losses we faced. Everything....it was just him. Only him.
A long silence fell between us. His tears fell on the back of my hands, yet he did not dare to move his stare at me. Perhaps, it was his way of telling me that acknowledged he was the actual culprit and he knew the things he could have done right.
But what was the point of his guilt anyways? Could it bring my baby back? No.
"You killed our child, Sebastian....you killed our child," My voice was barely higher than a whisper, "If you had let go of your curse, maybe...just a few hours ago than you did, maybe our child would have been here. You took away the last thing I had."
"You had the chance to fix everything. I had told you, again and again, waited for you, begged you to not let your curse ruin our lives but every time you chose it. Every time you blew away the opportunities that fate knocked on our door. Not only that, you shut every door in fact not just doors, you built a wall on every path," I was devastated, everything within me became so cold that I did not feel anything at all, I didn't feel human, not any emotions, not the grief that was silently evolving to swallow me under its deadly veil, "What have you got? We have lost everything. Even our child."
"I am sorry, I did not know...." He sniffled, looking as broken as I was at that time, "If I knew you were pregnant, I'd never let you go."
"I wanted to tell you. Last morning when I came to your study, I wanted to tell you about our child. But you broke the news of Marking Celine and pushed the last buttons. You could never be a good father, your demons would have always chased you and that's why I wished to take my child far away from you and your shadow," I did not want to cry in front of a man like him, but there were no options left, as I let him know about all his crimes, let out his wrongs aloud, each wound was turning as raw as before, and they hurt. A lot.
"You said death is the price I'd pay for love and see, I have paid it. My child has been taken away from me— I had to pay the price for loving a man like you," I seethed.
He finally moved his gaze to me, his red eyes and his tears, spoke a thousand times more than he did.
"I know, I don't have the right to ask you for anything but...please. Forgive me," He begged, holding my hands in his as if he was afraid that I'd slip away.
"I wish I could, Sebastian. But I can't," I slowly took my hands away from his hold, "As I look at you, I can see none but the murderer of my child. The man who destroyed my whole life, with a smile on his face. And now, these tears of yours, mean nothing to me. Your guilt, regret, your promises, nothing can make up for the loss I had to endure because of you."
"I can't live without you." It hurt me to see the pain in his eyes, but facing him hurt me even more— Every second my gaze remained on him, it only reminded me of how many things he could have done right when he chose to do the opposite.
"You can, I am sure you can. Just forget about this phase of your life, make yourself believe I never exist," I slowly stood up, "You have lived most of your life alone, and so have I. Let's keep it like that because I no longer can take a step towards you, and if I take, that'd walking over my child's grave."
"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" He asked, his voice trembling.
"I don't know but, consider I have forgiven you the day you'd be able to forgive yourself," I flashed him a smile, "However, I doubt that day's gonna come."
"Give me one more chance, Athena. Just one more," He begged.
Without saying a word, I walked close to him and wrapped my hands around him.
His body froze for a second because of my sudden move, however, he soon hugged me tight. So tight as he feared that if he let go of me, I would vanish into the waves and he'd never find me back. And for the first time, his fear was valid— I was seconds away from disappearing from his life forever.
"My love for you has died, and there's nothing left in me that I could give to you except for hatred," I whispered, "Keep my one last request, Sebastian—Don't ever follow me or track my wolf. Don't ever try to know my whereabouts or if I am alive or dead. I don't want to see your face again, not in this life, not in the next. You are dead to me."
I tried to pull away but he did not want to let me go. He held me tight, his tears drenched my shoulder, and his reluctance made me want to change my mind to stay for a few seconds more but I knew what the outcome would be.
If I ended up giving him another chance, I'd stoop low in my own eyes and never get up from there.
"Please...." He pleaded.
"Have a great life, Alpha," I mustered before I finally tore myself away from him.
"Don't go, Athena. Please." He begged but without another glance at him, I turned around and walked away. From his life and him, forever.
Flashback Ends