The lights were too bright and I didn’t want to get up just yet but the brightness was making it impossible to keep my eyes shut.
I turned to my right so I was backing the window. As I turned, my body ached and the space between my thighs throbbed a little. I was so exhausted after last night.
My eyes flew open and I sat up straight immediately but a wince followed because my privates were hurting a little.
My hand flew to my mouth as last night’s event came rushing in and my stomach churned as last night’s memories came rushing in.
The blanket was pooled around my waist and I was naked. I pulled my legs to my waist to cover my chest even though no one was in the room. I touched Atticus’ side of the bed and it
was cold, he had been up for a while.
I moved to get up from the bed but my body was not moving. It was almost as heavy as my heart. The blanket moved a bit with my movement and I noticed something had stained the sheets. I shifted so I could take a good look at the confirmation that I was no longer a virgin.
The blood wasn’t a lot, just a few spots, but it was still proof. I wondered if he had seen them, if he had seen them but left me here knowing fully well he had taken my virginity but I knew deep down that was not the case. He probably woke up, with his head pounding and saw me lying on the other side of his bed.
He must have wondered what I was doing there but later got his memories and then left for work to avoid dealing with me and I didn’t know if I should be hurting. There was a very thin line between anger and pain for me.
Knowing that sitting down here wouldn’t solve anything, I swung my legs off the bed and made my way to the bathroom. Since I was already in the room, why not just take a shower in here? I let the blanket drop to the floor halfway to the bathroom.
The bath was what I needed to calm myself and also help my aching joints. Last night was an eye-opener for me, I experienced first-hand why these women were always so eager to spread their legs open for that man. He was a good lover in bed.
Even when he wasn’t in his right senses, he knew the right places to touch, bite and kiss to make my senses go haywire. I could still feel the linger of his touches on my skin. He was a passionate lover and now I wanted more. Not only more, I wanted to be the only one he held, kissed and fucked.
I moaned in relief as I lowered myself into the massive tub. The hot water served the much-needed relief for the ache in between my legs. Involuntarily, I widened my legs further apart to allow the water to do its work.
I stayed in the tub until most of my anger dissolved with the aches and I only stepped out when the water went cold. My head was blank, I could not think nor did I want to think. I grabbed the robe hanging by the door and threw it on before leaving the room.
My room door was opened and I knew it had to be Lily but I was surprised to find Danielle sitting on my bed instead.
“What are you doing here?” She jumped at the sound of my voice but managed to catch her phone which almost slipped her hand in time.
“Waiting for you? Seems you had a busy night” She wiggled her brows teasingly but I could not find it in myself to share her jokes and she noticed.
Danielle got up quickly and was by my side in an instant. Worry was etched on my face and I could feel the tears running down my face.
“Oh God, Hazel, why are you crying? Should I leave? No, I can’t leave. Talk to me sweetheart” She was panicking and it made me feel stupid and immature but there was something
about this woman and her warm smile that always made me let go even when I didn’t want to.
She led me to the bed and sat beside me, taking my hands in hers and rubbing them gently to calm me down.
“Talk to me love, I promise you’ll feel better” I wasn’t actually crying but the tears wouldn’t stop and it was making me angry and because I was getting angry, I was crying more.
“I know I shouldn’t have expected anything but shouldn’t he have stayed till I woke up after taking my virginity?” I was pissed but hurt. I was burning with hurt on the inside.
“You were a virgin? Wait, you slept with him? How did it get to that stage so fast?” She asked me all at once.
“He came home drugged. I wanted to help and one thing led to another. When I woke up this morning, he was gone. I feel like a fool” My head was bowed with shame as I spoke.
“Oh, honey! I would not lie to you and tell you that he didn’t mean to walk away. That was not a good way to lose one’s virginity but it has happened and we cannot take it back so we can only move forward”
“Am I immature for making a big deal out of sex? I mean people have sex for the first time every day and I am sure they don’t act like this”
“Well, they aren’t you. Everyone has different expectations and realities. Because someone doesn’t cry doesn’t mean you shouldn’t too”
“What should I do now?”
“Before we decide on what to do tell me, how was it? Bad or super good?”
“I should be hurting now but you are making me think of things” I moaned.
My mind wanders back to the previous night. The image of Atticus painting above me as he thrust hard into me, sweat dripping from his face and onto mine, the smell of pleasure thick in the air.
“Damn…that good? Your eyes literally started glowing just now” Danielle mused
“I don’t want to share details but all I can tell you is that I finally understand why those girls won’t let him be”
“Damnnnnnn”
“But that doesn’t mean I am not pissed and hurt but at the same time, I knew what I was getting into. I shouldn’t have let it happen. It’s not his fault for leaving, it’s mine for letting it happen when I knew he wasn’t in his right senses.”
“So what are you going to do now?”
“I want to tell you I don’t know but I know that when he comes home, he is going to tell me it was a mistake and it should never have happened, but what I don’t know is how I’ll react to something I already see coming”