I kept smiling the entire ride home even though my stomach was all tangled up in a bunch of nerves. I was so nervous and excited and wrapped up in my thoughts that I had not realized that we had gotten home until Justin pointed it out.
“Don’t be so nervous. You did okay. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did” I muttered to myself as I walked upstairs to my room.
I was trying to calm myself down but it was hard so instead of laying down on my inviting bed, I dropped my bag and headed for the studio.
Halfway down the stairs, my mind kind of came back to its current state and I was suddenly aware of how icky I felt so I turned around back to my room so I could take a shower first before I headed down to the studio.
What I wanted to be a short bath ended up being a thirty-minute one and it was really what I didn’t know I needed. I was much calmer now but my hands still itch. The intense need to paint something was really strong and I could feel my hands tremble with need.
I threw on some sweats and an oversized shirt before heading down to my studio to finally do what my hand had been itching for. Halfway down the stairs, I met Lily and she was holding a tray with fruits in it and a glass of juice.
“Can you take that to the studio for me? I’m headed there now” I asked her and she gave me a little smile before following me downstairs.
“How did it go? It’s impossible to tell from your face? Was he mad or was he okay with it?” She asked as we entered the studio. I watched her as she dropped the tray on the table before turning to me with a curious stare.
“It went okay, I think. I don’t want to talk about it. I just need some moment to myself” I told her hoping she would get the hint and leave the room.
Thankfully she did. She did look a little hurt which I didn’t care about at the moment seeing as we were not friends but she left the room and I was alone which I wanted.
I grabbed a plain sheet of paper and pinned it on my canvas before grabbing everything I thought I would need and then settled myself in front of the canvas.
I took in a very deep breath before I lifted my hand which was holding my paintbrush and let my mind guide me.
I sat there for hours, painting without a clear description in mind but just my emotions guiding my hands. I couldn’t even make sense of what I was drawing but that was for
another day. Right now, I didn’t need to understand what I was painting, I just needed to paint to let out what I was feeling.
It wasn’t until my legs began to hurt from sitting too long that I decided to take a break. I didn’t even try to look at what I did because I was certain it would make no sense to me now so I turned my back and walked to the window instead so I could see how late it had gotten since I knew I had been sitting here for a while.
It was already dark and I didn’t have my phone to tell me what time it was. I was walking out of the studio when my eyes caught the clock at the end of the room and I frowned in confusion wondering how I had missed it before.
The time was past 10 already and I know Atticus wasn’t back home yet. If he had come home, Lily or someone would have come to get me and I couldn’t help but be a little worried at why he wasn’t home yet.
Could my actions earlier be what was keeping him till late? I didn’t want to regret what I did. It would be another journey that I wasn’t ready for.
I had dinner when it was quarter to eleven because I couldn’t wait any longer and I would get a stomach upset if I ate too late. It was his business if he wanted to stay out late but I wasn’t going to be waiting up for someone who didn’t want it.
It had to be around 3 a.m. when I heard someone struggling outside my door.
The person was struggling a lot and was stumbling around. I was frozen with fear at first wondering who would be parading our floor by this time and why security was letting it happen.
On a second thought, it occurred to me that it was just me and Atticus who lived on this floor and the possibility of it being him was greater than it was being a stranger or a criminal.
At that realization, I flung the covers off me and ran out of my room barefooted, feeling a sense of déjà vu.
And just like I thought, Atticus was having a hard time standing. His hands were shaking too much so he was having a hard time opening his door as he swayed on his feet as though he couldn’t see clearly.
“Atticus, what’s wrong with you?” I drew nearer to him and his struggle became more prominent.
When I got close enough to touch him, I could hear his laboured breathing and also saw the beads of sweat that lined his forehead and dropped to the floor in little droplets.
‘I’m fine. Go back to your room, Hazel. You do not want to be around me now” He warned and moved away from me when I laid my hands on his shoulders.
“But you don’t look okay. Let me help you” I tried to move closer to him but he moved away again, shaking his head furiously.
I swatted the hand he was using to push me away so I could pull him to me. He was sweating furiously.
“No, Just go to your room” he would have yelled if he had the strength but instead, his voice came out strained and laboured.
I was called stubborn for a reason and that stubborn streak and concerned part of me couldn’t leave him like this, not when I knew he was struggling. He stumbled as he made his way to his bed and I reached out as fast as I could to grab him.
He was sweating so much, his body was a little bit warm and his pupils were diluted. Somehow, my body tingled in recognition and I felt my body shake in anger.
“You were drugged?” It was more of a statement than a question because I was certain of my suspicions.
“Who did this to you? Who would dare drug you?” I was trying so hard to keep my anger in check because it would do us more harm than good if the staff found out.
Nathan was going to be sorry when I lay my hands on him tomorrow. What was he doing while he was getting drugged?
“Someone. She..” his words were drowsy and his eyes were unfocused.
I held him tight against me as he swayed but that was a mistake. He groaned as his bulge rubbed against my thighs and he grinded his hips against me again to see if he could get the same friction he did.
Hands roamed my body while I stood there frozen like a deer caught in the headlights as his large hands traced my back. Warms and impatient lips against mine had me snapping out of the trance-like state I was in but it was too late.
His lips pushed and prodded against mine, seeking an entrance. My body began to heat up as his mouth and tongue became one with mine. The taste of alcohol filled my tongue and the kiss became so dirty, I was unable to stop the moan that escaped my lips.
I had never been touched like this. Nobody knew but I was a virgin and this was not how I planned to lose mine but my body seemed to disagree. Somehow, my body went plaint against him as he had his way with me.
He kissed me like a starved man leaving no part of my mouth untouched. My lips unconsciously sought him when he left mine.
I would have let out a protest but his lips found a new spot, my neck. He bit, sucked and licked while his hands groped everything it could reach.
He’s been drugged. This is not real. My mind kept telling me but I was far too gone in ecstasy to recognize the warnings. The pleasure that racked my body with his touch clouded my senses and I could not think about what was right or wrong.
His lips made a trail of kisses from my neck to my cleavage. My breath hitched as he tried to leave a mark there.
His hand slid the robe of my nightwear off my shoulders and I let it slide to the ground before it pooled at my feet. It was going to be a long night.
Foolish or stupid, I was letting whatever that planned to happen tonight happen. Hopefully, I will not regret it tomorrow.