They left the restaurant before me. Samantha made sure to cling to him as they left and I wanted nothing more than to wipe that stupid smirk off her face.
Instead, I cowered to the side so that he wouldn’t see me. We would have our discussions at home.
I was currently at home waiting for him to come back. My thoughts almost killed me while I waited. I thought about what he felt for her, if he followed her home, what they talked about and what they do when they are alone.
I felt like I would never be enough and right now, my mind was a rotten place you would not want to be. I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around me and my legs tucked underneath me. I felt small.
The staff has been giving me nervous glances since I sat down here with a blanket wrapped around me. It was as if they were scared I would lash out at them but that was the last thing I would do.
My fingers were hurting because I was biting them, something I didn’t do before now. Well, they said bad habits were the easiest to form.
“Ouch” The sudden pain had me leaving my thoughts and staring at my bleeding thumb. I hadn’t realized that I had bitten too deep.
I hissed in annoyance and rubbed my fingers against the blanket to get rid of the little blood since I was too lazy to get a tissue.
“Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Beth asked me. She was one of the house helps but we had little to no interaction. I was surprised that she was the one to approach me.
“No, but thank you, Beth. Please retire for the day, I’m sure you must be exhausted after the day’s work” I told her with the warmest smile I could afford to give.
“Are you sure?” I was honestly surprised that she looked so worried about me when I hadn’t done anything for her.
“I’m sure. I am fine. You all can go to your quarters” I assured her.
She was hesitant to leave at first but she did. They had a staff quarter built at the back of the main house and it was an amazing place, to be honest.
It was past dinner time and there was no way I had the heart to keep Lorenzo up because of Atticus so I made sure he went to sleep as well. I promised him I would heat his meal when he arrived.
When I heard the front door shut after the last person, I let out a sigh of relief at finally being left alone to my thoughts. It was difficult for me to think with everyone moving around and I did not feel like going to my room either.
I looked at the clock and it was fourteen minutes past eleven. My heart skipped a bit at the thought that he may have fallen asleep at her place.
Fear clouded my senses. He may have slept out before he got married but that was something he had not done in a long time and it would kill me if he started it today, again.
I shifted slightly so I was lying on the chair. The television was on but I couldn’t tell you what was on even if my life depended on it.
“Dad, I feel so scared and pathetic. I’m sure this was not what you were imagining when you made me marry him. I hate the person I've become.” I whispered to no one. I feel tears pooling my eyes and that even made me feel more stupid because I couldn’t even tell
anyone if they asked why I was crying.
“Stop being pathetic and clean your eyes, girl. This is not the time” I scolded myself. I sniffed and tried to stop the tears that wanted to drop.
The sound of a car pulling up front had me sitting up and wiping my tears. I rubbed my palms across my face to fix the mess that may have been there.
“Have a good night sir” I heard Nathan tell Atticus just before the door closed behind me. I watched him walk past me and started heading towards the stairs. The couch I was sitting on was hidden so I didn’t blame him for not seeing me.
“Hey,” I called out to him softly. He paused at my voice and turned towards my direction. He raised a brow at my state but said nothing.
“Can you come here for a second? I need to talk to you about something” I told him when he didn’t move. It seemed he had something to do because he glanced at his watch first before moving to stand in front of me.
“Can you sit?” I gestured towards the space beside me because I didn’t like how tall he was when he was standing and I was sitting. It made me feel small and nervous.
“What do you want to talk to me about?” He all but grumbled.
“About Samantha. I saw you both today at the restaurant” I watched as his shoulders tensed and his fingers clenched but his face betrayed nothing.
“What about it?” His nonchalance made me mad but I held myself back.
“I don’t want you to keep seeing her. We belong to the same circle and I can’t watch her humiliate me at every moment she gets.”
“Sammy isn’t like that. She would not hurt someone like that” his voice was terse as he spoke. I scoffed at his reply. We weren’t speaking of the same person.
“What do you mean by that? You don’t know who she really is. That woman mocks me at every meeting. I feel like a fool because of the stars from the other ladies since they know she sleeps with you. She can’t stop flaunting it” I yelled. I clenched my fists to avoid reaching out and shaking some senses into him.
“I don’t like your tone. Keep it down” He scowled.
“Out of all I just said, that’s all you have to say to me? I can’t believe you will try to defend her even when she tried to humiliate me in our house, in your presence” I scoffed in disbelief.
“What do you want me to do about that? It’s something that concerns you both. Deal with it”
“How can you say that? I am your wife. Get rid of her” His eyes turned thunderous and I flinched at how angry he suddenly was.
“I cannot get rid of her. You should learn to deal with it” My eyes widen in shock because of the rise of his voice.
“Why did you marry me if you can’t leave without her?” I screamed and stood up in anger. My voice felt scratchy but I knew this was just the beginning of a screaming contest. It wouldn’t be a contest if it was just me though.
“I’ve told you, your father’s request was an impossible one to reject and Samantha understood”
“You are one hell of a bastard, aren’t you? You are so greedy and I pity Samantha as much as I hate her”
“She didn’t do anything to deserve your hatred. She isn’t a bad person” He was so insisted and it annoyed me so fucking much.
“What of what she does to me? Is it a joke when she insults me in front of others? Will a good person do that?” He was quiet
“Let’s say you don’t want to leave her but tell her to stay the fuck away from me and my business, she may not like what I would do to her if she doesn’t” I grabbed the blanket from
the floor and started heading towards my room.
It was obvious that there was no way this conversation would lead anywhere except me shouting and him refusing to believe anything I said.
“Don’t hurt her”
“You shouldn’t say that to me. It makes me want to kill her and hurt her more”
I didn’t know what the emotion that was on his face was and I didn’t wait to find out. I stomped out of the living room, and up the stairs towards my room.
I would have to show him who she was. I was not going to share my husband and I would not allow them to toss me aside like an unwanted rag. Never.