Tish POV
Raven sits down with Macy and holds her tiny little hands in hers. She cocks her head to the side and smiles at Macy. "Can I talk to Nyx?"
Macy's blue eyes go hazy for a moment. "You are the gold wolf."
Raven swallows hard. "I am. What color is Nyx?"
"Nyx is silver," Macy says.
She lets go of Raven's hands and pulls a coloring book out from under the coffee table. Macy flips through the book until she lands on a picture of a wolf. It is already meticulously colored. She turns the coloring book so Raven can see it.
I can't help but hold my breath while Raven studies the picture that Macy colored. "This beautiful," Raven chokes back tears. "Did you color this yourself?"
Macy nods her head as she takes back the coloring book. She finds a new page and begins to color. Raven continues to pepper her with questions about Nyx, but Macy doesn't answer any of them. Her little hand grips a crayon, and she colors carefully inside the lines of the picture.
Finally, Kaden interrupts the interrogation and bends down next to Macy. "It is your birthday. What do you want to do?"
Macy's eyes light up with excitement. "Can we do whatever I want?"
"Anything," Kaden smiles.
"I want to ride!" Macy squeals.
"Your wish is my command," Kaden laughs as he scoops Macy up.
"I want to ride!" Winston shouts from the corner.
Oliver groans, but Leo scoops his boys up and carries them outside, one under each arm. The children are squealing with excitement as everyone heads outside. Raven's mates and mine begin to strip off their clothes, and Macy giggles and covers her eyes.
The four men shift into their wolves instantly, and the kids run toward them. Our mates lie on the ground while the kids climb on top of them. Luckily for Oliver, Winston decides to ride Kai's wolf, Fang, instead of his father.
A sad smile crosses my lips as I watch the four massive wolves enter the forest with small children on their backs. Macy's fingers are curled into Apollo's fur, and her eyes are wild with excitement. She lives for these moments, and they are moments that I cannot give her. I feel left out.
"Are you going to go with them?" I ask Raven without looking at her.
"Hell no," she laughs. "This is a much deserved break."
She drops onto one of the loungers and kicks her feet up with a sigh. Her hands are resting behind her head and she stares up into the sky.
"Having twins must be hard," I mutter, taking my seat beside her.
"I am beginning to think you have it harder," Raven says, but she doesn't elaborate.
We lie on our backs and relax while our mates run through the forest with our children on their backs. I would be lying if I didn't say that this makes me nervous. I keep looking up to see if I can see them. Squinting into the trees, I can barely make out the wolf forms of our mates with screaming children on their backs. If I were I wolf I would be able to see them clearly. I grumble a few cuss words under my breath and flick my sunglasses back down to hide my expression.
"You seem… different," Raven sighs.
"There is just a lot on my mind," I reply shortly.
"Look," she says. "Macy hearing Nyx's voice is not that big of a deal. I am sorry for how I reacted. I was just in shock."
"It's not that," I whisper. "I am not frightened of Nyx. She and I seem to have an understanding."
"You have an understanding with your daughter's wolf?" Raven snorts.
"Laugh all you want," I hiss back at her. "Macy doesn't bite me or disobey my rules. She only gives Kai and Kaden a hard time."
"Interesting," Raven says. "So, if it isn't Nyx that is bothering you, what is it?"
I lean back in my lounger and try to ignore Raven's question. She is going to think I am silly, and I would rather keep it to myself.
"If you don't tell me, I will just ask Mae," she teases me.
"I haven't talked to Mae about it either," I stick my tongue out at her.
"So, there is something going on," Raven smirks.
I roll my eyes in frustration. The same issue has been plaguing me since Kai and Kaden marked me. Their combined mark shines brightly on my neck. It is a crescent moon with clouds drifting in front of it. I swear, when I look at it, sometimes it looks as if the clouds are moving. When I look at Kaden and Kai's bare necks, I can't help but feel like a failure.
Over the past three years, I have been doing research on how to turn myself into a werewolf. Everything that I have found says that I need to find a witch, but even as a familiar, I have no idea where to find a witch. Raven might be my only chance.
"What do you know about witches?" I try to keep my voice even, like the question is not out of the ordinary.
"Why on Earth would you want to know about witches?" Raven chuckles, but when she sees the look on my face, she stops laughing. "Tish, you are scaring me."
"I have been researching how to turn myself into a werewolf," I explain. "I need werewolf blood and a witch."
"Tish," Raven gasps. "Now I am really scared. You don't understand what you are asking for. Are the twins pushing you to do this?"
"No," I whisper. "They don't know."
"Why would you want to do something like this?" Raven asks sadly.
"I am tired of being different," I groan.
"Are the pack members disrespecting you?" Raven asks with a bit of a growl in her voice.
"No," I sigh. "Everyone is very sweet."
"Then what the hell are you thinking" she snaps at me. "You could die."
"I want to mark the twins," I blurt out.
"All of this over a silly mark?" Raven shouts.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you were in my position," I groan. "Your mates have your mark."
"The lack of your mark on their neck doesn't make them any less your mates," Raven says. "What you are talking about is very dangerous. I won't help you."