Macy POV
Embarrassment doesn't even begin to explain how I feel right now. While I don't have a connection with Edward, I thought I was beginning to build one with Winston, but I guess I was wrong.
'They will come around,' Nyx whispers from beside me.
"Make up your mind," I scream at her. "Do you want them or not?"
'It's not that simple,' She replies. 'The mate bond pulls us together, but knowing what they are makes me hesitant. Perhaps we should give them more time.'
"No," I grumble as I pull an oversized shirt over my head. "You were right. Lycans are cruel and can't be trusted. I won't make the mistake of letting them get too close again."
'The prophecy...' She begins.
"Fuck the prophecy!" I shout. "They are going to do what they want."
Nyx cowers away from me and curls up in the corner of the room. I have made her angry, and I doubt she comes back into my mind for several days. I feel guilty for snapping at her, but this is not what I want for myself. I deserve better than this.
Sitting down in front of my easel, I open my paints one by one. Skipping over the bright colors, I pour out dark blues and grays. I don't know what I will paint yet, but my brush touches the canvas anyway.
It often happens this way. My hands guide the brush, and it feels like my mind isn't a part of the process. My brushstrokes are messy and violent. Paint splatters off the tip onto my face and clothes.
The details of the painting come naturally. The curve of the wings reflecting in the light and the bright blue eyes of the character are the only bright spots of the painting. The rest is doom and gloom.
"That's interesting," Jason's voice makes me jump.
I spin around in my chair, with my hand clutching my chest. I was so focused on the painting that I didn't hear him come in.
"How did you get in?" I ask, turning back to my work.
"Your boyfriends left the door open," he smirks.
"They are not my boyfriends," I respond through gritted teeth.
"Is that you?" He asks, gesturing to the painting.
I back away from the canvas and finally take in the whole thing. It does look like me. The black hair, blue eyes, and slope of the nose all look like me. But from behind the black hair pointed ears peek out and huge wings fall behind her. A strange crown sits on her head and the shadow of a wolf is by her side.
"I don't think it's me," I whisper. "I am not that beautiful."
"I beg to differ," Jason shrugs his shoulders as if he doesn't believe me. "Where did your boyfriends go?"
"Away," I grunt, wiping the paint from my hands.
"I had a mate once," he begins. "She didn't like me much."
I hold up my hand to stop him from talking. "I am not in the mood for a love story."
"This isn't a love story," he says with hurt in his eyes. "She didn't want me. I wasn't what she expected in a mate. I changed everything about myself to make her want me, but none of it worked."
"What are you trying to say?" I groan.
"Don't sacrifice who you are," he says. "If they can't accept you for who you are fuck them."
"That's not the advice I was expecting," I snort. "Everyone else wants me to bend to their will."
"For the record," he smiles. "I love Crazy Macy. Never hide your crazy. Own it."
It is like something breaks inside me. The tears stinging my eyes, fall down my cheeks. I wipe them away, but more appear in their place. Jason holds out his arms, and I fling myself into them.
He holds me while I cry silently. All of the pain and torment I have been pushing to the side for eight years comes rushing to the surface. Now that I have started crying, I cannot seem to stop. Jason holds me and rubs my back. He doesn't try to make things better. He just lets me cry.
Eventually, the tears stop, and I pull away from him. "If you tell anyone I cried, I will kick your ass."
"I don't doubt it," he laughs. "Now, what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," I whisper.
"What do you want to do?" He asks like he already knows the answer.
"I want to go to that party and show my mates what they are missing," I growl.
Nyx perks up from the corner and growls. She doesn't approve of my plan, but there is nothing she can do to stop me.
"Then you better get ready," he laughs.
Standing on my tiptoes, I place a kiss on his cheek before rushing into the bathroom.
I shower quickly, dry my hair, and straighten it. Then, I put on my normal dark eye makeup, but this time, I painted my lips red.
Slipping into my closet, I put on my favorite black dress and combat boots. It is not something I would normally let my tormentors see me in, but I am planning on making a statement. Crazy Macy is here to play.
I step out of my bedroom, and Jason is sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels. He looks me up and down and smirks, " If I was ten years younger..."
"Stop right there," I hold up my hand. "I don't want to hear that."
"Suit yourself," he shrugs. "But I could teach you a few things."
The smile on his face lets me know he is joking, but I would be lying if I hadn't thought about him in that way. When I was younger, I used to have a huge crush on him. My face blushes when I think about it.
"You are cute when you blush," he says.
The air in the room shifts, and I shuffle from foot to foot. He is no longer joking, and I feel awkward. "I am going to go. Lock up when you leave."
"What me to drive you?" Jason asks.
"No," I scoot out of the door. ''I'll drive myself."
Jason follows me down the stairs, peppering me with questions the whole way.
'What has gotten into him?' I ask Nyx.
Nyx ignores my question. Instead, she leaps out of my mind and walks in front of me. I get the odd feeling that she is keeping something from me.
Jason follows me all the way to my car. "If you need anything, I am just a phone call away."
"Okay," I roll my eyes as I get into the car.
I race out of the parking lot and try not to think about how weird Jason was acting.
'This party might be a bad idea,' Nyx says.
"Don't turn into a party pooper now," I snap at her.
'I am not a party pooper,' she grunts. I ignore her and pull into Antia's driveway. The whole house is lit up, and music is blaring. There are couples making out on the front lawn, and I instantly feel out of place.
I choke down those feelings and get out of my car. It is like a spotlight is shining on me. Everyone is staring at me.