Present Time
Athena
The silence of my apartment forced me to drown in the same awful memories again and again. The sight of Sebastian today, had awakened all my nightmares, freshened all my wounds and put me in the same spot I'd found myself six months ago.
Guilt began crawling up my insides, like venomous spiders it surrounded me, some even went up and down my throat. I fought hard to not let a word leave my mouth. I did not want to cry because that only made me feel weak. I did not want the grief to touch me or even brush past me, cause no matter how much I grieved, the pain would never end.
One question repeatedly rang inside my head— Why is he here?
The thought of his sudden appearance not being a coincidence dragged me into an emotional upheaval where suspicion wouldn't let me stay still even for a mere second. My restlessness was killing me from within, it was eradicating my sanity, and it made me question my dignity every time a surreal emotion passed through me at the thought of that man whom I could never forget and perhaps, not forgive.
Was it just a coincidence or was it a plan?
Suddenly something clicked.
Aaron.....
I subconsciously drew in a deep breath.
Could it be him who had told Sebastian my location?
Yes, there were more than just a few possibilities, at least, more than I could ignore.
'Athena, it can just be a coincidence.'
"No, it can't just be a coincidence." My wolf decided to speak after the whole time.
I did not know what she was trying to do, whether it was to help me calm down, or to keep Aaron away from baseless doubts, among both of her possible intentions, none of them actually succeeded
"I am not going to blame it on my fate and believe that it's all just a coincidence. Not until I ask him the truth," I was hyperventilating, my mind had stopped working and that's where the trouble started because every time my heart took a hold of me and my emotions, it always ended up destroying me, "Sebastian's here.....he might even try to get back in my life and ruin everything once again. Since he knows where I am, he might also know my exact location— Aaron, yes it must be Aaron. He have been following me for months and maybe, all of it was their plan. Sebastian will ruin everything once again. I can't fall weak."
'You have to calm down, Athena,' She said, calm and collected.
"I know but I can't."
I struggled to stay still, I was pacing back and forth in the room, fumbling my fingers in nervousness, "I think we should leave the town before he could be here. It'll be the best for both of us. Yeah, that's the right decision."
I began to search for my suitcase, in a hurry, almost having no idea where I would go. All I knew was— I had to leave before he decides to do something because every fucking cell of my body listened to him, my mind, soul, even my brain where I possessed the most control.
'Athena, stop freaking out.'
"I am not freaking out! If you were at my place, your condition would be much worse than mine right now. You haven't seen what I had seen. you have only seen my memories. God, you didn't even see the events of that night, when I lost my baby— You were there, but you only witnessed a few fragments. But I did, I went through it and that feeling is still raw!" I shouted out, unable to hold onto it any longer than I already had, "There was no one to dress my wounds. Even you became able to talk to me after three months. And those months, I was all alone, trying to heal and that period was the hardest of my life, more terrifying than those I'd spent under his shadow, his dark intentions and the wrath of his curse. It took so long to piece myself back together and today, with just a glance, he shattered me once again— That's the power he has over me, do you understand how fucked up it is?"
'But leaving this town isn't going to get you anywhere, how much you'll run? At the end of the day, you will get sick and tired of it. Fight your fears, just like you once fought his demons.'
Sighing, I dropped the suitcase and sat on the couch.
My head was aching and my heart beat awfully loud. Doubts and suspicion were eating me up from the inside.
"I love him, after everything that had happened, I still fucking love him!" I sobbed, burying my face into my palms, "His curse was that he was incapable of love, and you know what's mine? Mine's that I can never stop loving him. I can't unlove what I love. It's so fucked up."
'You don't need to stop loving him, you could love him and still not fall weak. It's all in your hands.'
Despite being hurt, my wolf tried to console me. I knew that it hurt her as much as it hurt me to stay away from the other half of our souls, but what else could any of us do?
Indeed he was ours, but at the same time, he wasn't. I'd forbidden myself to even walk past his shadow and now he was nothing but a stranger to me.
A stranger with memories.
"You are hurting, aren't you?" I found myself asking.
'Not as much as you. I know what you are going through, Athena and trust me, running away is not the solution. Fight through this, face the storm because turning your back against it will break you apart.'
"I am afraid, I am afraid that he'll succeed in..."
She finished the sentence I left uncompleted just for the sake of my peace.
'Convincing you?'
"Yes, and I can't let him in again. I have seen the consequences of it once, and I can't go through it again."
'I know, I feel you. You and I are not apart— I am here to support you, then you did not have anyone but now you have me. Nothing will happen against your will, I promise you. Just make sure you are sure about what you want and what's best for you.'
That's the only thing I wasn't sure about....
I did not know what I wanted. I did not know what I needed. And I didn't know what was right for me.
"I think I should call Aaron," I blurted out, "I need to ask him if he knows about this or not."
'I don't think he knows anything, Athena. He's been following you for months, he could have told Sebastian months ago if he wanted to, then why would you do it all of a sudden?'
"I don't know. I just want to talk. No matter what, it is impossible to look past the fact that Sebastian suddenly appeared here soon after Aaron left. It could be absolutely ridiculous, or absolutely logical for me to doubt Aaron. But, I can't resist the urge to ask him if he is actually involved in it whether he lies or says the truth," I rushed, "It's ridiculous but I need assurance that he isn't involved in this. A few words from him would do it."
This was when I, deep down, acknowledged the fact that Aaron's place in my life mattered to me. There was a part of me that doubted his intentions, but the other part knew, and strongly believed that he could never do such a thing. And this phone call was just to get the relief from my worry— Fear of him turning out to be someone else than I'd thought, and losing the person I thought he was.
I grabbed my phone as soon as I could and called him.
However, my hopes were shattered as I found the line unavailable. Just to my satisfaction, I called his number once again. But the result came the same as before.
My heart sank in dismay.
Maybe it wasn't just my doubt... Maybe, Aaron wasn't a friend.
******
Sebastian
The sight of the unshed tears brimming in her eyes did not leave my mind, not even for a second.
She was living in this town. Perhaps, she has been here for the whole time. And here I'd thought, I would never get to meet her by fate.
This was nothing but a coincidence, or a cruel game of destiny. It wasn't cruel for me but for her. She had to see my face again, she had to go through the recap of every worst thing I had put her through and every night when I tortured her until she was covered in her own blood.
I had ruined her.
As I anxiously paced back and forth in the hotel room, emptying packets and packets of cigarettes one after another, my wolf decided to speak.
'You should meet her.'
His suggestion caught me off-guard.
"What?" I blurted out, "No, I shouldn't. How could you not see how much pain it put her through just to see the sight of me?"
'But still, loves you, didn't you see the love in her eyes? It's her love for you that's hurting her.'
"Trust me, seeing me and breathing under the same roof as mine is going to hurt her far more than her love for me can. The more I stay away from her, the best it is for her. She doesn't need to face a monster like me again."
There was a weird ache in the middle of my chest as I said the truth myself. The truth was bitter, enough to work like venom and destroy your organs, however, it did nothing such as it felt like.
'Blaming yourself and putting her out there to deal with everything on her own is not the solution. She is hurting, all alone and it's impossible for her to see what's right and what's wrong. She might hate you for now but you need to keep her with you for her safety. No matter how much you try to hide it, you too know that her safety is nowhere but you.'
"She will be safe. She is not weak and she can deal with it. I can't just get in her life with a flimsy excuse of keeping her safe when I am the only danger she considers, and once again leave everything she gathered in her world at sevens and sixes," I sighed, "It must have taken her a long time to get back on her feet and figure out where her true happiness lies."
'Did she look happy to you?'
Alas! He got me there.
All the prepared comebacks I had prepared, for each of his possible questions, vanished in the wind.
No— She did not look happy.
She looked empty, totally and utterly empty.
'She is not happy, she can never be happy unless she gets what she deserves. And she deserves love.'
"And you believe it's me who can give it to her?" I tsked, "The irony!"
'It's what's true. She needs you, she needs us. There's no other place in this world that could be safer for her than us, and I know it sounds ridiculous but it's the truth. We need to take care of her."
"I think you are forgetting something— I am the one who broke her. How do you think she's ever going to let us in again? We are the last people in this world whom she needs."
'But she needs to be safe, doesn't she?'
"She is safe!"
'Not for long. Indeed you are trying to repent for your mistakes and compensate for the losses you caused to an innumerable amount of people, you are helping the family of the ones that you killed, but none of it really means that they don't want you to go through the same they have gone,' He spoke, 'And your one and only weakness is Athena, it'd be no wonder if they end up following her and hurt her and it'd be your fault if anything such happens to her. Your job is to protect her, no matter what you are in her story— A hero or a villain. She should find a protector in you.'
After everything he had said, it was just a chuckle that left my mouth— A bitter laughter at the depth of his words that only said half of the story.
"You are right, but she will never ever see a protector in the demon that ruined her life-- I am the one she needs to be protected from."