(Day 24/122 of the experiment)
Today began with a victory! I talked for half an hour on video with my parents and grandmother, and another seven minutes on the phone with Sofia. And I was overwhelmed with nostalgia! I felt once again a sense of belonging to my family; I realized that I am not alone in this world and that I have loved ones. My sister even promised to talk to her husband and children, and maybe they will come to the big city for the weekend.
And although the day started pleasantly, the work on myself continues.
Text No. 2. My Job
I work at Iren Cheery's company. She proudly calls herself a female assistant, but I believe it's just a type of business. Women – they just get influenced, they believe in all the nonsense that the screens of their phones or televisions transmit. And while they fantasize about a better life, Ms. Cheery becomes even wealthier.
In general, my job isn't that bad. I work from home, so most of my wardrobe consists of pajamas. Plus, I earn decent money and communicate with many women. But the downside is that I am essentially deceiving them, as I don't even know where the key to happiness is or how to change my life. And my position is honorably called “fairy assistant” – that's how they refer to sales managers in popular parlance.
So, it's not too bad, but it's not perfect either. I would gladly work with people, but I'm not ready to sell them anything – I want to be genuinely helpful.
Oh, and something I forgot to mention – people don’t see me. This also makes me very happy. Because if I were going to the office and working, say, in a bank, I would have to look clients in the eye. And I, deep down, really dislike face-to-face communication with strangers. Also, I really enjoy writing – I keep my blog on Instagram with pleasure.
That's how it is. The end of the story.
The psychologist said that we will still work on the topic of my work and my panic fear of communicating with acquaintances. But for now, I have outlined the criteria for which I will search for a new job (after my transformation is complete, of course).
(Day 25/122 of the experiment)
If yesterday I spent almost the whole day at the computer – chatting with family, searching for worthy job vacancies, and writing text – then today I went for a walk, worked out my arms and back in the gym, and even cooked a delicious dinner. I also briefly met with Lily and gossiped over coffee.
Text #3. My Goals in Life
I don't know what I want from life. Really. Of course, I would like to get married, have two children, and have a lot of money. But I can't specify it concretely. It seems that as soon as I voiced the standard set of dreams of any 30-year-old woman.
No, well I know that I don’t want my children to have a childhood like mine. That's why I ended my relationship with Tristan. I don't want a dad's role to consist of three packages with gifts – for New Year, Birthday, and Easter.
I also want a Volvo S90! Yes – that’s my number one dream!
What do we have: I want a new good job, I want a strong family with a husband who will love me and whom I will love, I want a lot of money, I want to be happy.
The end of the story.
Why do I write "the end of the story" every time? It's clear anyway. Alright, let's imagine it's my authorial technique.
During our conversation, Susan told me how to set goals correctly. Any goal must be clear, measurable, achievable, significant, and time-bound. This is called the SMART goal (S — specific, M — measurable, A — achievable, R — relevant, T — time-bounded).