(Day 15/122 of the experiment)
The morning began with thunder, rain, and a drop in temperature. I didn’t even want to think about jogging, let alone actually going. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to just lie on the couch, so I went for a morning walk, took an umbrella with me, and was determined to log at least five thousand steps. But ten minutes in, when I felt a splash in my right sneaker, I decided not to be a hero and returned home.
I prepared myself a bowl – it's also one of my favorite and balanced meals – porridge, fish, scrambled eggs, avocado, and soft cheese mixed together in one plate creating an explosion of flavor in my mouth – and turned on the tenth lecture from a free course by a famous Ukrainian nutritionist.
Damn! An article! I open the magazine’s website and look for the online version. There it is. And here I am – two whole versions of myself on two pages. So beautiful and unlike myself. This Cinderella is confident, beautiful, and sophisticated. She knows exactly what she wants and what she should do in this life. She doesn’t think about any Tristan; she simply doesn’t need to worry about men – after all, they pursue her, and she only chooses whom to give her heart to. Such a pity she isn’t me.
I pull out my phone to call a taxi and head to the publication and see there are eight messages! Two in messengers and six on Instagram. I go to Instagram:
marichka81:
“Cinderella, good afternoon! We don’t know each other personally, but I have been following you for a long time. I’ve been watching your transformation and I want to say that you inspire me a lot! You are so real! I just saw the article with you on the cover and decided that I simply had to write to you to express my admiration!”
ilona_petrenko:
Hi!
“I’m Ilona, I live in the big city. Cinderella, could you please tell me where I can send you a package? Thanks to your blog, I quit a job I didn’t love and finally enrolled in makeup courses. I dreamed of this for five years! Then I stumbled upon your blog and realized that if you can do it, then I will certainly be able to do it too!”
And four more messages were dedicated to my beauty, courage, determination, and strength of character. I feel tears of gratitude rolling down my cheeks. Gratitude to Susan for choosing me as the heroine of her article, gratitude to the world for giving me the opportunity to simply take time for myself, gratitude to myself for daring to turn my life upside down by 360 degrees.
I open personal messages in the messengers. One from Lilia, another from Tristan. I hesitate for a long time about which to open first and choose the letter from my friend:
“Cinderella, you’re so cool! I’m proud of you! In this article, the real you shines through – beautiful, open, sincere, and so happy!!!! This evening, I’m waiting for you at our place for a festive dinner. To preempt your questions, I’ll say right away – Tristanik will also be there, and it was he who suggested we gather the four of us – he says he has some important news. Maybe it will be an official proposal for you to become his girlfriend?”
And – the cherry on top – a message from Tristan:
“Hi, Cinderella!
I want to say that you have more in common with your namesake than I thought. Firstly, you keep disappearing, and I have to search for you, though I am far from a prince and don’t have your shoe. And secondly – you are made for a beautiful fairy tale!
I read the article as early as seven in the morning – as soon as it appeared on the website – but I didn’t write to you so as not to wake you.
I want to say that you are amazing! So beautiful, free, determined!!! A dream woman! I’m proud of you.
P.S. Please tell me, are you free this evening? I would like to invite you to a family dinner at Ivan and Lilia’s. We will celebrate your triumph, and I will tell you something important.”
What do we have – Tristan called me cool, he invited me to a FAMILY dinner, and he has something IMPORTANT to say. Today is definitely going to be my day!!!! I can feel it in my gut – today, I will become the official girlfriend of the man of my dreams!
I look at the clock and realize that I am terribly late. I call a taxi and plan my actions in my head: editorial office – stretching – I’ll pop into the hairdresser for a quick styling (after all, I am becoming a girlfriend today, so I have to look my best) – then home to get myself ready – and off to the FAMILY dinner at the Khomeńkos.
(Day 16/122 of the experiment)
How I crave water and to cry. To drink and to cry. I open my eyes and quietly pray that Richard turns into a human, even just for five minutes, and brings me some water, or better yet, beer. Yesterday, which was supposed to be the best day of my life, turned into true torment.
When I arrived at Lily's with Vanya, Tristan was already there. He gave me a very beautiful bouquet of 21 roses – twenty red and one white. He said I am the white rose, because I am the most beautiful of all women and truly special. My wild imagination had nearly finished painting the picture of Tristan getting down on one knee and saying “Cinderella, I love you! Will you be my wife?”, but this beautiful illustration shattered against the rocks of harsh reality.
We sat down for dinner, everyone at the table expressing their opinions about the article about me, everyone admiring my persona, and I felt like it was my own birthday. When we raised the third glass and I expressed my gratitude, the topic of the conversation changed. We discussed the latest news, weekend plans, and so on. Then Tristan took his glass of cognac and asked for attention. My heart began to beat twice, no, three times faster. I held my breath and awaited a confession of love. The voice of the man of my dreams spoke sternly and yet, awkwardly:
“My dear Lily, Vanya, and Cinderella. I have something to tell you. You are very important people to me, and that’s why I am sharing this news with you first. I have been invited to study at a business school in London. I’m leaving in five days. I’ll be back in two months. This is a very difficult step for me, as I have dreamed of this opportunity for the last three years, and I received an invitation just now – when I have only just opened my first restaurant. But dreams must come true, so I decided to go.”
After this solemn speech, I felt the bubbles of champagne hit my head, and I seemed to lose consciousness. I surely lost my mind. I started congratulating Tristan on this opportunity, wished him luck and success, and hugged him. Meanwhile, I wanted to drink and forget.
I downed one, two, three glasses in a row and realized I had achieved my goal – now Tristan's departure didn’t bother me; I almost didn’t care. The emotional pain was drowned out by alcohol and shock. I simply sat at the table, looked at the man of my dreams, and understood that all my hopes would turn into a transoceanic dream in just five days.
After the feast, Tristan kindly offered to take me home by taxi, we called some car and sat next to each other.
- “Cinderella, you’re honestly not angry with me, are you? Just this business school only selects 20 people once a year. I have been rejected for two years, and finally – I'm on the list of invitees.”
- “No, Tristan, what are you talking about? I’m really happy for you. Two months is great! Maybe you’ll find yourself an English girl and get married there. Why not?”
- “No, come on. I really like you and I want to be with you. I’m asking one thing – just wait. I will come back, and we will start over. Do you think that after our kiss I didn’t want to pull you close and just breathe you in?”
- “No, you made that very clear at the time.”
- “Cinderella, the next day I was headed to New York to the visa center. At that time, I still didn’t know for sure if I could go to study, so I didn’t say anything to you. And I declined to continue the evening because I didn’t want to make you empty promises. After all, I’m leaving now, and you have a transformation in full swing – maybe when I return, you will have already forgotten about me.”
- “Tristan, let’s skip the vanilla dialogues. I wish you success and a smooth flight. I ask you not to distract yourself from studying with pointless chatting with your old acquaintance Cinderella. Bye-bye!”
Fortunately, the taxi just stopped in front of my house, and I, like a movie heroine, jumped out and quickly closed the door behind me. Within 10 seconds, my cold confidence turned into tears and despair.
And today I will give myself a break from everything – sports, Instagram, friends – I’ll order pizza, drink beer, and watch “Sex and the City.”