Chapter 85 Ethan is not my boyfriend

Rachel's POV

" What did you say?" Marina shouted, her eyes almost popping out of her head and she stared at me in astonishment.

After I left Ethan's house, it was then I realized that I had no place to go. Then I remembered that I had Marina's address so I came here, and luckily she was at home.

Now we were both in Marina's room and I had just finished explaining what happened last night to her and she was enraged, confused and shocked.

" How can that be? I've seen the way he acts around Lana he can't be in a relationship with her. Ethan can't cheat in you with her! " She yelled shaking her head while pacing around the room." It's not even supposed to be called cheating ". I murmured to myself hugging a pillow tightly. " What? " She asked stopping her pacing and looking at me.

I couldn't say nothing, because I was sure she heard me say something so I repeated it. " It's not even supposed to he called cheating". I said out loud.

Marina was taken back, and she took a step back. " Yeah, you're right. It would have been cheating if he was with another woman, but no... He was with Lana that isn't cheating, it's fucking betrayal!" She yelled giving another meaning to what I said.

Yes, I felt betrayed, but that was not what I meant.

"Marina that's not it". I said softly shaking my head. My throat was hoarse because of how much I had cried, and I could barely keep my eyes open because of how heavy they were.

"That's not it?" Marina repeated confused. Then she crossed her hands on her chest tapping her feet on the floor. " Okay, fine, explain it to me then. What else would you call it when a man who you're in a relationship with, is caught with another woman who so happens to be your ex-best friend and a certified husband snatcher? Tell me then" She asked her voice filled with rage.

Why did I come here?

' Maybe it's because you don't have any where else to go ' My subconscious answered and I couldn't help but agree.

" Come on then Chelle, what is it called?" She asked again and I just couldn't take it anymore. I got up from the bed and shouted. " I'm not in a relationship with Ethan!"

Marina blinked in surprise taking a few steps back. " Chelle I know you're angry and you may have just broken up with him but..."

" I didn't break up with him because we were never in a relationship ". I interrupted and said in a low almost inaudible voice, more to myself than to Marina.

Marina's eyes widened in shock and her mouth opened wide. She wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out from her lips and I understood her. " So you're saying... " She trailed and I nodded.

" Ethan is not my boyfriend ". I confirmed.

Marina turned around and clenched her first tightly before looking back at me. " What!!!" She screamed and I flinched covering my ears with my hands before turning my face away from her. " How can you... So you're saying all this time you and Ethan were not dating?" She asked in shock looking down at me in disappointment and anger and hurt.

" I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you so bad but, I just couldn't bring myself to".

"Huh? You got to be kidding me". Marina said with a scoff turning around and walking out of the room.

I sighed before standing up from the bed to chase her. " Marina wait up!". She turned back sharply and glared at me. " What do you want?"

" I'm sorry I..."

" You lied to me Rachel. " She began interrupting me. " I thought things had gone back to the way it was between us before David completely destroyed it. We didn't jeep secrets from each other but you fucking lies to me. " She said her voice laced with hurt.

I looked down in guilt. " Marina I can explain... "I began but she held out her hand to stop me.

"Save it. I don't trust you not to tell me anymore lies". She said and I felt a tear drop from my eyes.

Lana made me lose my family, lose my husband, and now she just made me lose the man I was in love with, was she going to make me lose Marina too?

I sniffled using my hands to clean my nose. " I know you don't trust me anymore, and I know I shouldn't have lied to you... But I thought it was going to he true eventually. I thought Ethan, I thought Ethan was going to develop feelings for me because I did for him, I thought..." I couldn't continue because the salty taste of tears that ran down from my eyes to my lips.

Why was I breaking down again? Haven't I cried enough already? I asked myself but I just couldn't stop the tears. I feared opening my mouth to speak, afraid I would just begin to sob.

" You... You like him?" I heard Marina ask ever so slowly, and I shook my head.

I didn't like him.

" I love him". I answered with a small sad smile on my lips. Even after his cruel heartless betrayal I still couldn't deny the fact that I loved him.

" Oh Rachel... " Marina walked closer to me and enclosed me in a tight comforting hug while gently tapping my back.

" I'm still very annoyed with you, and this could be called emotional blackmail you know?"

She joked and I smiled through my tears. " I'm sorry for not telling you. "

Marina huffed before letting out a smile. " You'll make it up to me by telling me everything now, from A to fucking Z understood? " She commanded and I nodded.

I at least owed her that.

" It's alright... Actually it's not alright, but I need you to stop crying now and go back to the room while I make you something to eat". She said pulling away from me.

I nodded wiping my tears with my hands while taking a sharp deep breath and exhaling it slowly. " My eyes feel heavy, I don't want to cry anymore ".

She pouted her lips while tilting her head. " How I wish I could tell you that you won't, but I can't. If you really had feelings for him you're still going to cry". She said honestly and I hit her shoulder.

" Arina can you just be supportive and tell me what I want to hear. I won't kill you go just comfort me". I complained my heart hurting because of her honestly.

I was still going to cry... Despite the fact that my eyes were hurting and my throat hoarse, anything I remembered the scene I saw just hours ago, tears fills my eyes.

Why did it hurt more than when I caught David and Lana in bed together? Could it be because my feelings for David had started to depreciate after not seeing him for months and then catching him with my best friend?

But I wanted to kill myself because of them, why haven't the thought crossed my mind to kill myself because of Ethan's betrayal?

' Er... I think it's because Ethan made you like life, and you can't take yours for him even if you tried ' I knew the answer deep down.

" Rachel!" Marina shouted snapping her fingers in front of me.

" I think you're long overdue sleep is finally calling you. You need to rest, I'll wake you up after I've made something for you to eat, you have a lot of explaining to do". She said with a smile which I returned.

" Alright". I answered giving her a small nod before returning back to the room and laying flat on it, waiting for sleep to carry me away.

Something I doubt was going to be possible.