POV: Ravenna
I can't sleep.
Not after learning the full scope of the Eclipse. Not after realizing how many people they've killed, how long they've been operating, how VAST their network is.
Not after understanding that in two days, we leave safety and run straight back into danger.
I lie in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking about death. About how many times I've almost died. About how many more times I'll probably almost die before this is over.
About how I might actually, really, truly DIE before I get to live.
The thought makes something crack open in my chest.
I throw off the covers. Pull on my robe. Slip out of my room before Morgana—sleeping in the other bed—can wake up and ask questions I don't want to answer.
The village is quiet at night. Just moonlight and wind chimes and the distant sound of water flowing somewhere. I walk without thinking, my feet carrying me to Theron's guest house on the other side of the compound.
I knock. Softly. Once.
He opens the door maybe ten seconds later. Shirtless. Hair mussed from sleep. Eyes immediately alert because even SLEEPING he's ready to fight.
"Ravenna?" His voice is rough. Concerned. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Everything. I don't know." I push past him into the room. "Can I come in?"
"You're already in."
"Right." I turn to face him. He closes the door. Waits. Patient as always. "I can't stop thinking about dying."
His expression shifts. "Ravenna—"
"Not like that. I'm not—I'm not suicidal or anything." I pace his small room. "I just keep thinking about how many times we've almost died. How many more times we'll almost die. How one of these times, we might not be lucky enough to survive." I stop. Look at him. "I don't want to die without LIVING first."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want you." The words come out too fast. Too desperate. "I've wanted you for WEEKS. Maybe months. I don't know. Time is strange when people keep trying to kill you." I take a breath. "And I'm tired of waiting for a perfect moment that might never come. For traditions and weddings and proper timing. I want you NOW. Tonight. While we're still alive to want each other."
Theron goes very still. "Ravenna—"
"If you don't want—if I'm reading this wrong—"
"Gods, no." He crosses the room in three strides. Cups my face in his massive scarred hands. "I want you. I have wanted you since you took my hand in the starlight. Since you chose me. Since you looked at my broken face and saw something worth keeping." His thumb brushes my cheekbone. "But I don't want you to do this because you're afraid. Because you think we're going to die. We can WAIT. Until we're back in Cindravale. Until we're properly married. Until—"
"Until WHEN?" I demand. "Until the Eclipse kills me? Until another assassination attempt succeeds? Until we run out of luck?" I grab his wrists. "I don't WANT to wait, Theron. I want this. I want YOU. I want to choose something for MYSELF instead of having everything chosen FOR me by fear and duty and other people's plans."
He searches my face. Looking for doubt. For hesitation. For any sign I'm not certain.
He won't find it.
"Are you sure?" he asks quietly.
"Terrified," I say honestly. "But certain. I'm always terrified and certain with you. That's how I know it's right."
Something in his expression BREAKS. That careful control he always maintains. That distance he keeps between wanting and having.
He kisses me.
Not gentle. Not careful. DEEP and desperate and like he's been holding back for too long. His hands move from my face to my waist. Pulling me against him. And I'm KISSING him back just as desperately because I need this. Need HIM. Need to feel alive instead of hunted.
We stumble toward his bed. He pulls back just enough to look at me one more time. "If you change your mind—"
"I won't."
"If you need me to stop—"
"Theron." I pull him down to me. "Stop talking."
He stops talking.
***
Afterward, we lie tangled together in the dark. My head on his chest. His arm around me. Both of us breathing like we ran a marathon.
I feel—gods, I don't even have WORDS for what I feel. Satisfied. Vulnerable. Connected. real in a way I haven't felt in months.
"I never thought I would have this," Theron says quietly. His voice rumbles in his chest beneath my ear. "Someone who chose me. Someone who saw past the scars and the rejections and the broken parts. Someone who looked at me and said YES instead of running away."
"I never thought I would WANT this," I admit. "Belonging to someone. Being vulnerable. Trusting completely." I trace patterns on his chest. "I spent my whole life building walls. Keeping everyone out. Being untouchable and untouched." I pause. "But I want to be touched by you. I want to belong WITH you, not to you. I want—"
"What?"
"Everything." The word feels enormous. Terrifying. "I want a future that isn't just survival. I want mornings and arguments and stupid domestic moments. I want to wake up beside you and be annoyed that you snore. I want to have your children and watch them grow. I want to be OLD with you." My voice cracks. "I want everything the Eclipse is trying to take from us."
His arm tightens around me. "Then we'll survive. We'll go back to Cindravale. We'll stop the Eclipse. We'll GET that future."
"How can you be so certain?"
"Because I refuse to waste five rejections and a war just to die before I get to build a life with you." He shifts to look down at me. "I survived the impossible once. I'll do it again. We both will."
I want to believe him. Want to trust that certainty.
So I choose to.
Just like I chose him. Just like I chose this moment. Just like I'll choose to keep fighting for the future we both want.
"I love you," I say. The words feel strange. New. But right. "I don't know when it happened. Probably somewhere between assassination attempts. But I love you. Your scars and your silence and your impossible survival. All of it."
His eyes go bright. Actually bright, like I've given him something he never thought he'd have. "I love you too. Your fire and your stubbornness and your absolute refusal to die gracefully. All of it."
I laugh. Soft and real and surprised by my own joy. "We're terrible at romance."
"We're perfect at it." He kisses my forehead. Gentle despite those scarred warrior hands. "We just do it our way."
Our way. Messy and desperate and choosing each other in a hidden village while being hunted by assassins. Not traditional. Not safe. Not EASY.
But ours.
And that's enough.
"When we get back to Cindravale," I say quietly, "when this is over—we're getting married properly. With witnesses and ceremony and everything I claimed I didn't want."
"You want a wedding now?"
"I want everything now." I tilt my head to look at him. "I want the wedding and the future and the stupid domestic moments. I want to fight with you about what to name our children. I want to grow old and annoying together." I pause. "I want proof that we survived. That we WON."
"Then that's what we'll have." His voice is absolute certainty wrapped in warmth. "Wedding. Future. Children. Everything." He pulls me closer. "The Eclipse doesn't get to take that from us. Seris doesn't get to take that from us. We've already survived too much to lose now."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
I settle against his chest. Listen to his heartbeat. Strong and steady and alive. We're both alive. Both here. Both choosing this despite everything trying to kill us.
Maybe that's what love is. Not the safe, easy kind. But the desperate, defiant kind. The kind that says I CHOOSE YOU even when the world is burning. Especially when the world is burning.
I fall asleep in his arms, feeling safer than I have in months. Feeling loved in a way I never expected. Feeling like maybe, just MAYBE, we'll survive long enough to have that future we both want so desperately.
Together. Always together. No matter what comes next.