As I lay savoring the taste of the weight of the man I loved, as he rested on top of me, I felt a pricking of tears and ran my fingers through his hair.
I lost my parents when I was small and Hudson had his father but couldn't communicate with him.
But I was happy that I had him back with me again.
I ran my fingers lightly over his back, traced the ridge of his spine, then curved my hand against the back of his neck and brushed my fingers against his neck, loving him.
He made a soft sound against my ear and shifted slightly. "Am I too heavy, darling?"
I shook my head vigorously, letting him know that, he was not that heavy and I was loving the way I was holding him.
He turned his head and I could see the curve of his smile in the moonlight that spilled through the window. " I think I am," he said and effortlessly rolled us over, so that now I lay on top of him, though still wrapped in his arms.
I lifted my head to look down at him, then quickly got up and ran to the living room to get my pad and pen and returned. I could see his amused expression, as I was running naked in his house and I blushed.
Then I climbed on top of him again and wrote on my pad. "Will you tell me what happened?"
His jaw tightened, I thought that, if he had stayed on top he would have pulled away and tried to leave me. But now I stayed right where I was. I leaned forward and lay my cheek next to his.
I looked at his eyes intensely and prompted him to tell me what had happened.
I did not think he was going to reply but then after what seemed like an eternity, Hudson said, "I was going to meet him." He looked as if he would have shrugged his shoulders but then stopped. " He never showed up."
Once again I heard the tone of light indifference, he had let down his guard for his sister and went to meet his father and the father never showed up, so it must have been a blow to him. And I knew the feeling.
I lifted my gaze and then grabbed my
pad again. And wrote. " It's his loss."
Hudson took a deep breath.
But I wouldn't dismiss it and wrote again. "He's a fool. He doesn't deserve you, so don't think about it." I leaned ahead and kissed him lovingly, as I knew that he was hurt and he had grown up without his father's love and was just trying to make his sister happy but Mr. Ford has made the matter more difficult for him.
I kissed him passionately trying to take away his pain and he held me tightly.
*******************************
It was warm and sunny and was a perfect day for the wedding.
I knew that Ellen was going to be a beautiful bride. She was a pretty girl, to begin with, but today, with her brown colored hair pulled up into a sophisticated knot, her long white dress elegant and simple smile sparking, she looked exquisite and every bit the radiantly happy bright as she was.
But she wasn't only happy, she was generous and kind.
I've been so proud of her this morning while she was getting ready and Hudson came and in and stopped and despite her mother protesting her not to get up from her seat, Ellen had just run across the room to throw her arms around her beloved brother.
"Thank you," she said. "I didn't say it the other day but I should have first thanked you for trying to talk to daddy and for everything Hudson. You are the best brother." She stepped back and give him a loving smile.
He was the best brother and I knew that. I loved him for the smile he had managed for Ellen.
"Anything, I can do for you," he said. "And I knew they all knew, it was nothing more than the truth. Even though he had not been able to coax their father, he had done everything else. .
And he had been the one his sister had turned to for years.
He was always willing to talk and listen to hear whether it was about her wedding dress or the fights with her fiancé. He listened to his stepmother, about how Ellen does not listen to him and also tried to make the arrangements for the wedding himself so that Ellen had a wonderful wedding.
He managed to defuse half a dozen wedding-related crises as well. He was the one who had arranged for her favorite local band to play at the wedding. He was the one who saw to it that all his relatives and other guest were comfortable during the ceremony.
And now as I sat with a wedding guest in the rows of chairs on the lawn overlooking the Lake and waiting to watch him do yet another task, the task he had every right to , walking his sister down the aisle and giving her to the groom.
I hoped that he would smile when he did, as he had the most beautiful smile. I wasn't treated to it very often but he smiled very occasionally when we made love. I hoped that I would see the same amazing smile someday soon at our wedding when he watched me walk down the aisle towards him.
Still it was too soon to think about that because I had so many problems which needed to be sorted out before I could think about the future.
I was looking around and observed that there were a lot of guests who had come for the wedding and the most important person was Hudson's aunt who was the wife of the ex-mayor and she was a very accomplished lawyer in her field.
She was dressed very elegantly and talking to her husband.
Somehow I thought I'd seen her somewhere but could not place it properly but I did not give pressure on my mind, as I just wanted to enjoy the wedding. And anyways I have to meet the whole family eventually.
There was a pause in the music after the last of the bridesmaid had reached the halfway mark of the procession and the music started again for the bride to enter the aisle.
Everyone turned around and were twisting their heads and to get their first glimpse of the bride.