I woke up stretching to the other side of the bed. It was cold. Something I had been getting used to since that fateful day two months ago. The day I almost lost everything. I got up and went through my morning routine. I took a quick shower and picked out some training clothes. I got dressed and took a moment to look at myself in my full-length mirror.
I looked like s.hit. My five o’clock shadow was turning into an actual beard and my eyes were a bit sullen due to the lack of sleep. I looked at my clock and realized it was only five am. So I had a good four hours of sleep. That should be enough to get me through the day or at least through training.
I went outside to take in the cold January air. It was just the kind of weather I needed for a quick run. There was something therapeutic about running. Feeling the ground underneath your feet. I look forward to these runs, especially with Devon being MIA(missing in action).
Ever since Alaia left the room, he has been a bit quiet. Offering his two cents every once in a while but mostly quiet. It was fine with me. At least one of us could sulk enough for the both of us. I had no time. I had to focus on being the Alpha, keeping my pack in line, and finding the people responsible.
After checking in with the patrols, I made my way to the spot as per my routine. I wasn’t sure why I came here. Everyday expecting to see or find something different. Something the scouts might have missed to give us any clues on Zira’s whereabouts. With the help of my father and his connection with Phil’s pack we were able to bring in their best trackers.
After training, I went to my office to deal with a few things when someone knocked on my door.
“You can enter.”
My dad and Alpha Phil came into the room. Phil was holding something in his hands. I caught a small whiff of the scent and ran over to him. It was Zira’s coat.
“Wh-wh-where-”
“One of my trackers found it stuck on a rock over 200 miles from here. No body was found near that area, so I sent them further to see if they could find anything else.”
I brought her coat closer to my nose. I got her scent and the scent of blood. She was hurt. She was alone and hurt. I put that aside for now.
“Thank you, Alpha Phil. You have been such a great help. I think we can take it from here. Your boys need rest,” I said, shaking his hand. Before letting go, I told him. “Anything you need, the Black Moon Pack will be there to help.”
“Thank you, Alpha Isaiah. You raised a good one there, Jack,” Alpha Phil said before leaving.
I mind-linked Hunter before setting Zira’s coat aside. “So what’s the plan,” my father asked.
I sat back in my chair, trying to figure out what to do. My mind kept going back to one person. The one person who was conscious when all of this happened. Maybe a little visit would help jog his memory.
“Isaiah…Isaiah.” My dad was waving his hand at me. “Are you okay?”
“Sorry, father. I’m fine. Just a little spaced out at the moment. We should send a few scouts to each of the packs running along the river. See if anybody has any information. Maybe we can find clues near the spot where they found her coat. Now where is Hunter?”
There was a knock on the door and Hunter walked in. He looked just as bad as I did. I knew the reasons I wasn’t getting sleep, so I wondered if I was putting too much on him.
“Sorry I was late, Alpha. What can I do for you?”
I looked at my father, who just shrugged his shoulders. Hunter rarely calls me Alpha. This past week, he’s been late for every meeting, he falls asleep at the ones he makes it to, and he’s been off his game for a while. Yeah, something was definitely off. My father was the first to address it.
“Hunter, have you been hitting the bottles lately? You look terrible.”
Hunter laughed off my father’s comment. “Yeah, I guess I should dial it down a bit, Alpha Jack. It’s been a rough month for me. For all of us.”
I stayed silent and just observed him. He slumped down in one of the chairs in front of the desk while I moved around to sit on the edge. These two months have been hell for the entire pack. Ever since we captured Nas, the leader of the gang of rogues, we’ve been having constant sightings of rogues around the territory.
Hunter was right by my side while I tried to keep a handle on the situation. Though I try to drink by myself, he insisted on staying and keeping me company. Maybe it was too much for him now. No matter how late he stayed up or how much he drank. The next day, he would always be ready for anything.
“I think you should fire me as your Beta,” he started. “I can’t hang like I used to in the good ole days.”
Welp his flares for the dramatics were still intact, which meant there was something he wanted to say but didn’t know how. I didn’t want to play this game since the news earlier gave me hope about Zira. So I cut to the chase. “Hunter, what’s really going on?”
Hunter sat up in his chair and finally looked at me. He really did look terrible. I don't think he’s gotten any sleep at all. Maybe I was pushing him too much with his Beta duties. He grabbed his hair in frustration before returning back to me.
“Hunter-”
“Ahslee’s pregnant!”
There was a moment of silence between us. I wasn't sure how to react to the news. I looked at my father for some help to gauge how Hunter wanted me to react, but he was looking at me for direction too. Hunter didn’t particularly look too happy or sad about it.
Now that I think about it, we never had this conversation about being dads. I tried to feel his emotions but even they were conflicted. He was looking at me as if he was waiting for me to tell him how to feel.
“Is…this your…first child,” my father asked. Hunter looked at him confused and shocked at the same time.
“Father!”
“What! Don’t think I don't know your reputation, Hunter Meade. You’re not a saint here.”
Hunter thought about it for a minute. “Well you got me there, Alpha Jack. As far as I know, Ashlee is the only one.”
“Alright, well I’m not sure what kind of reaction you’re looking for, so I’m just going to go with-Congrats!”
I got up and gave him a hug, and he just looked at me as if I had done something out of the ordinary.
“Unless I shouldn’t say congrats…”
“No, no, no. I’m happy-no, ecstatic. I just…wanted to respect your feelings. Since that night, the b word has been kind of a trigger for you, so…”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. That night took more than I wanted to give. When Doctor Callie came out of the room Alaia was in, I could tell it something bad. The fact that Doctor Callie looked a bit shaken up like she saw something she had never seen before. She took a moment to gather herself before telling me Alaia had a miscarriage.
I couldn’t hear anything else after that. My parents were talking, the doctor was talking, everyone had something to say but I just needed to be alone. I slipped in one of the empty and shredded everything. I wasn’t satisfied. Someone had to pay. I needed to avenge my babies and I knew the perfect person to blame.
When I got to the dungeons, my father and Hunter were already there. We wrestled for a bit until they pulled in more warriors to restrain me. I was happy they did it because I was going to kill that rogue. I want to rip him apart limb by limb, slowly. Instead, I kept him around as my personal punching bag.
Hunter pulled me off to the woods to blow off some steam. I went back to the spot, hoping to find some solace, but instead I found something worse. I didn’t get the full details about what happened here but I knew it involved Zira. Sitting in the snow near the edge of the cliff was the necklace Isabella gave Zira. I looked over the edge and the realization brought me to my knees.
I could hear Hunter talking to me but he seemed so far away. I couldn’t find my voice, I just needed to move. I shifted into Devon and ran to the bottom of the waterfall. It was at least a hundred and fifty to two hundred foot drop. For a werewolf, that’s survivable, but for a pregnant she-wolf…
Isaiah, what is going on, Hunter linked me.
Zira. We-we need to find Zira.
I linked everyone in the pack to search for her as I followed the river to another drop. This one looked bigger than the one before. I could feel my heart drop to the middle of my stomach. If one fall didn’t do this, this one would definitely seal the deal.
No one could find her. Not even her parents. The only people who could answer that were either in the hospital or the dungeon. I couldn’t wait. I ordered Jace and Chris to take a few scouts to search the river while I went back to the hospital to check on Alaia.
So now we are back here where my best friend, my brother, is afraid of saying baby in front of me. Afraid of celebrating the life he helped create. I couldn't allow this. My pack, my people, should be able to come to me about anything and, as Alpha, I need to rise above my emotions.
“Hunter, I am excited for you man. Really I am. It's best we celebrate what we do have instead of focusing on what we don't."
Hunter smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He really did look like he had just risen from the dead.
"So, is the baby news the reason you look like this?"
Hunter laughed a bit while rubbing the back of his neck. "Not exactly. With everything going on, Ashlee is a bit worried that something might happen to her. So I’ve been busy making her feel safe while trying to fulfill my duties as Beta and-”
“Say no more, Hunter." I quickly mind-linked Jace and Chris. "If you need this time to be with her, then take it. I still have Jace and Chris. They can pick up the slack."
Hunter's eyes sparked for a bit before he quickly gave me a hug. "Thank you man. You don't know how much Ashlee will appreciate this. I promise a few days to calm her fears and I'll be back in shape."
Hunter couldn't get out of the door faster as Jace and Chris walked through the door. They looked after Hunter confused before turning their gaze towards me. I shook my head and began to fill them in on the search.
I ordered them to get together in two groups: one to search the river as far as they could for anything connected to Zira and another group to go to the neighboring packs and ask around. We will start searching early in the morning.
After they left, I was left alone with my father, who was staring at me from across the room. He’s been doing this for a while, so it became normal for me. Normal enough to ignore him until he says what he has to and leaves.
Five minutes passed and nothing was said between us. I looked up from my files at him and he just smiled.
“Something I can help you with,” I asked, wanting him to leave now.
“No. I…I just want you to know how proud I am of you, Isaiah. Not many Alphas would be able to keep working as well as you have been.”
“Thank you, Father. I learn from the best.”
“Of course, of course,” my father said, getting up from his seat. He started to pace in front of my desk until I stopped what I was doing to watch him. He was mumbling something to himself until he noticed I was staring. This was starting to irritate me.
“Father-”
“I just want you to know if you ever need to talk. I am here. I know as an Alpha we don’t really take the time to step back and take stock of our feelings. So having or expressing them will not make you weak.”
He looked at me as if it was my turn to say something. I wanted to laugh but I could tell by the crease in his brow he was serious. He was right though. The only time I really got to express myself was that night. After that, I pretty much buried myself in other things.
Keeping Isabella from going insane, securing the border to keep rogues out, trying to get through to Alaia, and searching for Zira. I did my best to keep my mind occupied.
“I understand. Tha-”
My father walked over and dropped an envelope on my desk. “I know we’re not great at talking about these things, so whenever you’re down or lose your way, just read this.”
He came around my desk and pulled me into a hug. I can guess I was wearing the same expression Hunter was wearing earlier. What has gotten into this man?
“Alright, this was good. Yeah,” he asked as he stepped back and gave me a sharp tap on my shoulder.
He left the room, leaving me gawking after him. He’s been acting this way ever since that night. I think I should be more worried about him. I worked through dinner and didn’t notice the time had passed until my alarm went off. It was one in the morning when I dragged myself from my office.
I needed to be up real early to get the search started and I wanted to be at my best. I thought I was making my way towards my room but my feet had other plans. When I looked around at the room I ended up in, I noticed it was Zira’s room.
I’ve been finding myself here many times lately. I wasn't sure what was pulling me here. Her scent, her things, or it could’ve been the baby presents she had neatly stacked in the corner. I haven’t gotten the courage to throw these things away.
So I made sure the Omegas didn’t clean her room. It was kept exactly how she left it. I picked up the teddy bear that used to belong to Zed and I laid down on her bed. Her scent still lingered as if she was still here. I focused on that and tried not to think of the fact that our son would’ve been born by now.
I wondered if he would’ve looked more like me or her. Whose hair or eyes or complexion he would’ve inherited? He could have everything from her but I wanted him to have my eyes. I sighed as I thought about Zira. It was the only way she felt alive to me.
Zira, where are you? Do you know I am missing you? I wonder if you’re missing me, I thought as I drifted off to sleep.
Of course it didn’t last long. I got an alert from one of the guards and I quickly rushed over to the dungeons. Two guards were standing outside and I brushed past them. I went to the cell we kept Nas and it was empty. It was like he vanished in thin air. That was the only explanation that made sense. The bars were coated in wolfsbane so there was no way someone from the outside would know that. This was an inside job. This had to be the doing of a witch.