I was running through the woods. It was dark and quiet. Only the sounds of my feet crunching in the snow and the sporadic breathing could be heard. Every once and a while I would glance over my shoulders, see the shadows getting closer.
I made it to an opening and instantly realized where I was. The cliff. I didn't want to be here. This is where it happened. I turned to get away but it was too late. They were here.
The dark figure materialized into Isaiah. He walked slowly towards me and I mirrored his steps, moving back. A creepy smile spread across his face and his green eyes bore into mine. Wait, his eyes? My thoughts were interrupted when he started to laugh.
“I’m starting to think you enjoy being thrown off this cliff,” Isaiah said while moving me towards the edge.
I looked around for an escape but I realized I was already near the edge of the cliff. I glanced over into the abyss. I figured staring into it might be able to wake me from this dream.
The moment I turned around, Isaiah grabbed me by the throat. I clawed at his arms, making him laugh at my futile attempts when someone else joined in. Alaia suddenly appeared next to Isaiah..
She looked different, darker than before. Black lines were etched across her face like tattoos, her eyes were pitch black like two shiny pieces of coal, and her skin was as pale as the moon.
“You should’ve left when you had the chance,” she said as Isaiah dropped me over the cliff. I screamed as the abyss opened up and swallowed me whole.
“No!”
I immediately jolted from my sleep as I sat up in bed. I clutched the covers around me, feeling like I was still dreaming. The room was dark and my mind was playing tricks with my eyes. I kept seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye.
I quickly turned on the bedside light as a soft glow revealed I was in a large bedroom. I closed my eyes while trying to control my breathing. Tears fell down my cheeks as I unsuccessfully wiped them away. This was a normal night for me.
The bed I was in was bigger than I liked. I always end up in the middle of it which meant I had to roll across it just to get out of it. Little grunts took my attention as I turned to the little crib next to the bed.
I looked inside and noticed Zacharias fighting his sleep. I hated that my nightmares were affecting him. I rubbed his back, hoping he wouldn't fully wake up. The bedside clock read five am, meaning he'd only been asleep for no more than three hours. That was a record for my little monster.
He finally settled in as I stared down at him. He was growing really fast. Already crawling around. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll be walking in a month or so. It’s so surreal how much he resembled Isaiah. I ran my hand through his soft, curly black hair and couldn’t help but lean in to inhale his scent.
A baby’s scent was the most relaxing thing in the world. I waited a few moments to make sure he was deep in sleep before picking up the baby monitor and heading to the kitchen of the pack house.
When everything happened in the hospital, Alpha Fiona thought it best to stay here to heal. Since James was my mate and being near your mate helps with the healing process, I figured why not. I haven’t really told anybody about my baby’s gift of healing. I still wasn’t completely comfortable here yet and James’s barely around nowadays.
Disappearing with his warlock friends every now and then. At first I thought it was his duty as a warrior, but he has made it a habit to disappear from a room the moment I come in. Hell, even Arias has seen him more than me.
Don’t worry Zi girl, he won’t be able to resist us for too long, Nina said.
She had hope that James would accept us as his mates, but I'm not putting my eggs in one basket. I’ve learned my lesson already from Isaiah and I would be a fool to let that happen to me again.
I felt myself getting frustrated, so I focused on the task in front of me. When I was little and couldn’t sleep, my mom would take me to the kitchen and teach me a recipe. Cinnabons became my all-time favorite, so it was always my go to. Making them brought back good memories with my family and reminded me of how much I missed them.
My memories were interrupted by the ‘ding’ of the oven. I pulled out the hot cinnabons and placed them on the cooling rack. They smelled amazing and my mom would be proud. Many times I wanted to sneak back just to see them and let them know I was okay.
I wanted my parents to meet their first grandchild and, of course, Isabella to meet her nephew. I smiled at the thought of their faces when they realized I was still alive. I guess they would be proud I actually made it through alright. They would be proud of me, I just know it. My smile dropped as Isaiah came to mind.
Never in a million years would I ever think he was capable of hurting me. The way he nearly choked me while dangling off the cliff sent shivers through my body. I never saw him like that. Ever. He wasn’t acting like himself, but it doesn’t excuse him for the fact he helped her. Helped her get rid of me. I felt tears threatening to come out, but I refused to cry over him and his poor choices.
“Zira…”
My body stiffened as I turned around and saw James. He was leaning against the doorway, shirtless, with his arms crossed over his chest. My eyes roamed over his body slowly as if I were committing every little detail about him in my mind. He said something but my mind was occupied with images of me leaving little bites up and down his body. Of course only one wolf would be thinking this way.
Really Nina. Give it a rest already, I said to her.
Never! It’s not a crime to have these thoughts about our mate. Deacon seems to agree with me.
Well, Deacon is not the one who doesn’t want us, I snapped at her.
Well, tell your body that, Nina snapped back.
She was right. I could feel my body react to his stare-his presence, and I hated it. Well, I wanted to hate it but this bond wouldn’t let me. So I put on a forced smile and faced him. James looked at me as if he knew what I, well Nina, was picturing. With her teasing and the way he was looking at me, I was getting a bit irritated.
The feelings of lust quickly turned into anger. I blocked myself from him but I could tell by his face he knew exactly how I felt. The half-shaped double moon tattooed on my neck gave him that privilege. His mark. The one thing that I always wanted until now. Now I wish he had just let me go. Let me die.
THREE MONTHS AGO
I remember handing my baby to James. I was watching how careful he was being with him. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that my baby was alive, happy that I was alive, happy that I had found my mate, but sad that my family wasn’t here.
My mom, my dad, my idiotic brother, boisterous best friend, and even…even Isaiah. Even if he tried to murder me with his crazy mate. I laid back and closed my eyes. I was so tired and needed just a bit of rest. I heard someone scream my name and my baby started crying. I tried to open my eyes but they wouldn’t open. I tried to reach out to Nina but I couldn’t. I started to panic until everything just stopped.
I felt no pain, no sadness, no happiness. I felt nothing, not even thoughts passing through my mind. I stayed like this for a while and it was fine for me until I felt something in my chest. Pain was back, the panic was back and everything came rushing at me with full force. My heart felt like it was going to explode.
Then I felt another pain, this time on the side of my neck. I couldn’t tell what was going on. For a moment, everything hurt, then everything felt great. I heard someone calling my name.
Nina, Nina is that you?
Zira, can you hear me? This wasn’t Nina at all. This voice was deeper and smooth. Zira. It’s me. James.
James? How can he…am I dreaming?
I know you’re confused, but don’t worry. I will explain everything when you wake up.
Something must have happened. I thought about Zacharias and immediately James spoke to me.
He’s okay, Zira. I have him here. We’re sitting right next to you and we will be right here when you wake up. I promise.
I was so confused right now. How could James know what I was thinking? How could he be talking to me right now? What kind of magic was this?
Just as he promised, I woke up a week later and there they were. It was dark in the room but I could see them as clear as day. James was slouched in a chair, quietly snoring. He was wearing the same clothes he had on when I first met him.
Has he not left this room since then I wondered, but it was interrupted by the coos from the crib next to my bed.
Zacharias. There he was wrapped in a colorful blanket. His curly hair peeked out a matching rainbow hat. I could only guess who got these for him. I sat up to get a good look at him. I thought I would feel weak, but surprisingly my body felt rejuvenated. I quietly picked up Zacharias and held him close to my chest. I took a full deep inhale of his baby scent and my heart instantly filled with joy.
“Hello, little one,” I spoke to him softly. “I’m your mom.”
He is gorgeous, Zira, Nina gushed. I can’t believe that evil bastard helped produce this.
He grabbed one of my fingers as I gently rocked him. His eyes were still closed but his mouth was opening and closing as his head turned towards my chest. I knew that meant he was looking for food. I knew a bit about babies and the signs from my mom.
I looked at James, who was still asleep. I positioned myself to breastfeed him. It took a minute to get him to latch on, but it was a victory to finally do something without help. Ten minutes later, I noticed James was awake and staring at me.
Heat immediately rose to my cheeks as I stared back at him. Not sure why I felt a bit nervous, but I couldn’t look away from him. His eyes were shining like two big beautiful emeralds. I knew he was my mate, but this time I looked at him I felt completely speechless.
“He was hungry,” I said, trying to break whatever this tension was in the room.
“I can relate,” James laughed and, oh how it sounded so amazing.
I found myself smiling, imagining ways I could help him with that. I quickly shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. What is wrong with me? Did something happen when I passed out? Or could this really just be the bond?
“You look like you have questions, so I’ll go get Miss Emma for you.”
He left while I busied myself with my son. I couldn’t believe we actually made it. All this time, I doubted myself, doubted him for nothing. Everyone seemed to have faith but me and look at how far we had come.
I felt tears well up as I thought about the mistake I almost made months ago. I started to apologize to Zacaharias for wanting to get rid of him, apologize to the Goddess for not accepting this blessing, and to everyone who had faith in me when I did not. James quickly entered the room and came to my side.
“Hey what’s wrong,” he asked as he touched my arm, sending a pulse wave traveling to my heart. It was so intense I had to remember to breathe.
“I’m fine. I promise. I'm just a bit overwhelmed by everything.”
“And you should be,” Miss Emma said.
She came and sat in one of the chairs. She gave me an overview of what happened a week ago. Apparently, after giving birth I had a hemorrhage and lost too much blood. My blood pressure dropped and I went into shock. They were able to bring me back but I was too weak to hold on, so to help James marked me.
I absentmindedly touched the side of my neck and immediately a wave of tingles went throughout my entire body. I looked at James and saw his eyes changing from green to gray, then back to green. He marked me.
“I know I did it without your permission, I just didn’t want you to die. So please don’t be mad a-”
“Mad?” I looked at him a bit confused. “Why would I be mad? You saved my life…again. Besides, you’re my mate. It was going to happen eventually, right?”
I felt heaviness on my chest as James looked down at his feet. I was feeling his feelings. Why was he sad? I looked at Miss Emma for a clue but she only smiled at me apologetically and stood up.
“I’ll have a nurse come in later to check on you. All your vitals are good. We were just waiting for you to wake up.” She gave my hand a squeeze. “Considering what your baby is, you did a great job. I’m glad you’re still with us.”
I looked at her in shock. When I told them what happened to me, I never said Zacharias was a white wolf.
“Don’t worry dear. I’ve seen it all and I can tell a special wolf miles away.”
She gave Zacharias a little pat before leaving me with my mate-supposed mate. I looked at James, who was avoiding my stare. Fine. He wants to play it like that.
I slowly maneuvered out of bed with Arias close to my chest. James came to my side immediately to help me up. I placed Arias in a little bassinet before turning to James.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Explain.”
James sighed and I could feel this was a sore topic, but I needed an explanation. I wasn’t going to go through another ‘he doesn’t want you’ phase. I would rather he was upfront so I could make plans. Still, I wasn’t expecting to hear what he said next.
“I would love to be your mate, Zira, seriously but…I…I…already have one.”