Isaiah stared at the note from his father as he laid down on the bed he had moved into his office. He couldn’t bear to go to his room without images of Alaia stabbing him and taking his son. He felt like a complete failure, ashamed that he couldn’t even protect his son.
How could he call himself a father if he couldn’t even do that? How could he call himself an Alpha if he couldn’t make the necessary decision to protect his people?
He was only lost in thought until a familiar scent clouded the air. Absent-mindedly, his feet moved him in front of his door. When he opened it, Zira stood in front of him about to knock on the door. She seemed lost in thought as well.
“Zira.” She finally noticed him looking at her. “What are you doing here?”
Zira looked around, trying to figure out how she got there. She laughed a little while shaking her head.
“Alpha Isaiah, sorry to disturb you.” Isaiah winced at her formality. He knew it had to do with their last argument. “Just coming to check on you. I saw you on the balcony and thought about the cliff and…”
Isaiah laughed as he walked back towards his bed. “It’s Isaiah, you don’t have to be so formal towards me, Zi, and don’t need to worry about me either. A fall from the balcony would only bruise me.”
“Are we speaking from experience,” she questioned as she followed Isaiah in.
Isaiah only smiled at her question. He has fallen off the balcony before, but not for the reasons she thinks. More of an accident with Hunter throwing the football way too far and him too eager to catch it. He sat in the pack hospital for days to heal because he didn’t have his wolf at the time.
“What’s in the envelope,” Zira asked after sitting farther away than he would’ve liked. Maybe she was being cautious, Isaiah thought.
“This…um…is a letter from my father. His last words. He gave it to me when I thought I had lost everything. I can’t bring myself to read it.” Isaiah could feel a tightening around his throat as he stared blankly at the envelope until he felt Zira’s hand over his.
“Reading this feels like reading the last page of a book. After that, I will lose him forever.”
Zira had wanted to keep her distance, especially with James’ words swirling inside her head. However, Isaiah was her friend before anything and right now her friend was in pain. It was almost as if she could feel it herself. She cursed herself for not being there when he needed it. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
“I don’t think that’s true, Isaiah. My mom used to say to me, ‘As long as there’s a memory and love, no one is truly lost’. This pack loved your dad so much and there are so many memories of him everywhere. So reading this letter would only add to those memories and keep him alive here.”
Zira placed her hand over his heart. The touch of her hand on his skin ignited something in him. He had to control himself from breathing too hard. He didn’t want her to know how much he had reacted to her just now. Isaiah took her hand in his to get it off his chest and looked at Zira with consideration.
“You always know what to say,” he said before taking a deep breath and opening the letter.
Son. Isaiah read the contents of the letter and it felt as if his father was standing right in front of him reciting these words.
Son, I have so much to say, and yet a big part of life is discovering these things in your own way. Much like I did. I hope that this letter can serve to plant a few seeds in the soil of your fertile mind and give me an opportunity to share with you what I consider as wisdom. Your job is to water these seeds through the trials and tribulations of life.
I want you to know how proud I am of how strong you have become as Alpha. I see it in you every day, especially after everything that has happened. Losing a child is tough for anyone and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, but I want you to take this experience and keep moving forward. I believe there are reasons these things happen and I'm sure the Goddess has a plan for you.
I know you’re going to feel guilty about the events of that night and that’s OK, but don’t get stuck there. The greatest test of a true Alpha is how he bears defeat without losing hope. So I’m asking-no-demanding you to keep hope alive.
Keep hope that you will have a chance to have a child in the future. Keep hope that Zira is alive because we all know she is stronger than she thinks. Keep hope that this will make you stronger for your people and for yourself. Like my father once told me when I was going through my own trials, ‘Just keep doing the things you know you’re supposed to do, and you’ll be fine’.
So I leave this to you, my son. I am proud to be your father and proud that you were the one to succeed me. Your sister saw something in you as Alpha that I am ashamed to say it took me a while to see, but I will never forget it. You were born to lead and lead you will. I am excited for what lies ahead and I know it will be wonderful. With much love, Your Father.
Isaiah held the letter in his hand as tears fell from his face. He never knew how much he really needed his father's words. The man knew how to say just the right thing. If only he had read this earlier on, things might have been different.
“Don’t do that.” Isaiah turned to see Zira wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I know that look, Isaiah. Don’t contemplate on what you could’ve done. It won’t help to dwell on the past, believe me. Instead, we can use it to learn and we keep moving forward, right?”
Isaiah smiled and nodded as he hugged her. “Keep moving forward,” he whispered.
They held onto each other for a while and Isaiah didn’t want to let go. He knew eventually she had to go back to her mate and he didn’t want to cause problems. Hell even hugging her right was stirring up old feelings, so he reluctantly pulled away.
“Thank you, Zi. For being here. For…surviving. I don’t think I would’ve been able to do this without you.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
She hoped that this was enough to bring Isaiah out of the dark. She hated seeing him so depressed. She missed her friend. Isaiah, feeling this moment bringing up old feelings, cleared his throat to break the silence.
“Well,” Isaiah started getting up and walking towards the door, “I think we both know it’s best if you…”
Zira stood up with her hands on her hips and a smile playing on her lips. “Are you kicking me out?”
“Yes, you should be spending this time with your mate. Not a sad, depressed Alpha.”
“Fine, but only because I want to,” Zira said, bringing Isaiah into another hug, “ but I wish you weren’t sad or depressed. I wish there was something I could do.”
You just being here is enough for me, Isaiah thought as he held onto her.
They stood there for a moment, both reminiscing about the time before. Isaiah was touched by her concern, but he knew he had to let her go. Though Zira was the first to pull away. Of course, she still had feelings for Isaiah, but her connection with James was stronger than any feelings she felt with Isaiah. The pang of guilt for their connection was prevalent in the room, making them both shift uncomfortably.
“Well, I should go before…”
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.,” Isaiah smiled.
“That betta be a promise,” Zira smiled before turning to leave for her room.
Isaiah was glad to have this moment with her. He knew after tomorrow if they all make it out, she was going to leave with her mate. As Zira walked away her heart ached for not being here for him when he really needed it, but she was glad she made it in time to save him.