More tears threaten to fall, but I don’t feel like crying in front of this Alpha. I don’t know why I said Dylan was all I had. My truth had changed in the last few days and it was hard remembering. Dylan wasn’t all I had. I had Levi and I had Liz. I had friends that cared about me. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t okay, but I knew I would be. When you’re in the middle of the storm, it’s hard to see through it. If I could just get through it, I had sunnier days ahead of me.
“I’m happy to hear you have friends… I’m assuming the man you spent the night with… is one of those friends?” Andrius asked.
He sat by my side and the guilt that stabbed at me as I thought of Levi had me mentally slapping myself. Instantly sobering me up. I stood to my feet and folded my hands in front of my chest. I don’t hear him get up, but I feel him behind me. He’s close, but isn’t touching me. I can feel his body heat radiating against my skin.
“Yes, he’s one of my… best friends,” I whispered.
“Mm,” Andrius hums from behind me. His hand caressed down the side of my arm and my body came alive beneath his touch.
“Mm… what?” I said on an exhale.
“I’m wary of the company you keep,” he murmured awfully close to my ear.
“Why would you be wary?” I asked.
“You should be careful of the company you keep. Maybe rethink spending time with… his kind,” Andrius said. I stilled at his words as I realized what he said. I turned on my heel, hands on my hips and stared up at him.
His kind? What does that even mean?
“You can’t seriously be trying to tell me who I can and can’t spend time with?” I asked.
He was so close, my chest brushed against his abdomen. This man was a literal beast, he was so tall I had to lift my chin to look him in the eyes. His gray eyes lit up as he lifted his hands in the air as a smile spread across his unbelievably handsome face.
“Was just some bit of advice,” he chuckled.
“Mm-hmm,” I hummed.
“Does your… boyfriend get mad often?” Andrius asked.
“Right into it, huh?” I asked. He shrugged. I took a step back around. If we were going to talk about this I didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. I don’t his or anyone’s pity.
“Yes, but not like that, never like that night,” I sighed. “I’ve gotten him mad before. The smallest of things would set him off. If I think about it… he was sensitive that day. Earlier that day he’d shoved me against a wall. I had told myself that it hadn’t been as dramatic as I thought it had been. I lied to myself. It had been worse,” I choked on the last sentence.
“Did he raise his hand against you?” Andrius asked. I can hear the strain in his voice.
“We just went over this…” I murmured.
“I know and I’m sorry that I’m making you go over it again, but I want you to admit it to yourself. Did he slap you?” he asked through gritted teeth. I nodded my head. “Words, let’s use words,” he cooed.
“Yes, he slapped me,” I said. This was the first time I admitted it aloud.
“Is he responsible for all of the bruises on your body?” Andrius asked.
I couldn’t count the number of times he slapped me that night if I tried. I wouldn’t try. I nodded. He takes a deep breath behind me.
“Did he ask if it was okay?” He asked. I hold my breath and it’s quiet for a few minutes. The waves were the only sounds around us. I try to think of the right words, the right answer. The only thing I can think of sounds like an excuse and maybe it is.
“He was upset with me,” I say trying to make it make sense. “I did something… and I ruined our evening. Everything was going fine, we were having a good night, and he was happy,” I whispered.
“What did you do?” Andrius asked.
“I-” I stop and look out into the water. Memories of that night flit through my night. Everything had been going smoothly until his father called us over. I knew at what point that the flip had switched. “I looked at you.”
His sharp inhale of breath pulled me from the memories of that night. He took another step closer, closing the distance between us, his chest flush against my back. Just when I think the questions are done, he asks another one.
“Did he force himself on you?” He asked. It’s easier to answer him when he isn’t looking at me. My tongue is loose and the answers drip out.
“Yes,” I sighed. Now that I’m talking about that night, I can’t stop. “I didn’t want to… I kept telling him to stop but he—” I choke on my words as tears start to fall again. I grip each arm in an attempt to soothe myself, curling in on myself as I sob. Two large arms wrapped around me, engulfing me in a hug. He holds me upright and it feels as if he’s holding me together.
“He wouldn’t listen to me. It was like he was a different person. He was so… so angry and it was all directed at me,” I said while ugly crying.
He doesn’t say anything, just continues holding me while I let it all out. When I’ve stopped crying and I’m a sniffling mess, his arms disappear from around me. I feel the loss of his arms and miss them.
“You know you didn’t do anything wrong, right? Nothing you could say or do would warrant a man putting his hands on you,” he said.
“Mm,” I hummed.
“I mean it. I can say it until I’m blue in the face, but unless you believe it, unless you think the same thing, it means nothing.”
“Yes, I know. It’s just… a lot more complicated,” I sighed.
“Okay,” he growled.
“Okay,” I repeated.