SOPHIA CASTILLO POV
I do not know if the distance was being created by me or Adrian but I was sure I was doing the most.
Adrian hasn't touched me since that night and I was glad and disturbed at the same time. He still speaks to him the way he does although I feel something is off about it.
I do not know if I was the one imagining all of this but I just couldn't help but think I have offended him.
I had asked that we didn't get intimate and he was doing just as I have requested but I wasn't satisfied and it was because he doesn't kiss me on the lips anymore but on my cheek.
I told myself he was avoiding kissing me so that he would be able to control himself but I didn't want to believe myself too.
I hate my mood lately.
I'm on my way home since it's Friday and also tonight makes it two weeks since that night. I was going to take the pregnancy test today. I haven't told Adrian about it.
I had gotten the pregnancy some minutes ago. I was nervous. If I was pregnant, would he be fit to be a mother?
I love kids and would love to have my child in the future but I am not ready to be a mother for now.
******
I have been all smiles today since I found out that I wasn't pregnant. I have never felt so relieved before. I just couldn't wait to tell Adrian when he comes back.
I could have called him to share the news but the news was better being told in person.
"I'm not pregnant!" I squealed excitingly.
I just couldn't sit down in one spot because I was too excited. It's funny how my mood might have been the exact opposite if I was pregnant.
It's not as if I would hate myself or Adrian but the fact that I wasn't ready to have one would weigh me down.
"Baby!" I squealed excitingly, running to hug him. I was too excited to tell him the news.
"Baby!" I wrapped my arms around him and he caught me with his arms around my waist.
"What's up? You are quite happy, do you want to share the good news?" He asked me.
He placed me gently on the floor.
"I took a pregnancy test today and I'm not pregnant!" I revealed.
Adrian was quiet for some seconds before he spoke
"Oh, that's it," he said. He wasn't sounding as excited as I was when I found out that I wasn't pregnant
"Yes," I told him while scrutinizing his facial expression.
"Okay. That's good news. You are happy right?" He asked and I nodded my head, suddenly not knowing what to say.
"You aren't sad about it, are you?" I asked him, fidgeting with my nails.
"Why would I? You are happy and that's all that matters," he said.
"I want to go have a shower," he said walking away from me and I felt my heart clench.
Why do I feel something was happening to us and I do not have an idea what to do about it.
I sat on the bed while waiting for Adrian. I want to know what's going on in his mind and what's happening to us.
Adrian came out of the bathroom shortly with a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Have you eaten dinner?" He asked me.
"Yes, I did. Have you?" I asked him.
"No. I'm not hungry though," he replied.
"How was work?" I asked him.
"It's fine. How are your studies going?" He asked me.
"It's going great," I replied.
From the way we were speaking, that was enough to tell me that there was tension between us and that I caused the majority of it.
Adrian wore his matching pajamas as mine and came to sleep.
"Are you tired?" I asked him.
"Yes. I have to go to meet someone early so we won't be able to have breakfast together but we will surely have lunch and that's if it's fine by you," he said to me.
I wanted to speak to him about the tension but I was nervous. I didn't want to start a conversation that might escalate what was going on between us.
I lie on the bed and wrapped my arms behind him. The fact he was sleeping and not facing my direction was also another proof to tell me that something was going on.
Was I a bad wife to him? I get that he wants kids but we already spoke about it and he said he was fine with it.
Is he angry with me because I refused to have kids now? I do not understand.
"I love you," I told him, placing my legs around his with the expectation of him turning to hold me but he didn't.
"I love you too. Go to sleep," he told me.
I just couldn't help but comply. We needed to talk about it or I won't be able to think properly.
I woke up earlier than I usually did. Adrian was sleeping on his back this time around. I stared at his face before placing my head on his chest.
I don't like it when he is not happy with me. It affects me a lot and now I was affected.
Adrian opened his eyes and I locked my gaze with him. "Good morning," I said to him.
"Good morning," he replied.
"What time is it?" He asked.
"It's past five," I answered.
"What's wrong?" He asked concerned and I'm guessing he must have noticed the tears that formed in my eyes because his facial expression changed to a concerned one.
"Are you angry with me?" I asked him.
"Angry with you? Why would you think so?" He asked.
"I don't know," I sniffled a little, wiping my tears with my finger.
"I mean we have been distant for the past two weeks after I asked that we didn't get intimate," I began.
"I do not know but... Maybe it's just me and I do not know what I'm even complaining about when I'm the one who had started it and now I'm...."
"Breathe Sophia," Adrian said to me and I did as told.
"Thank you," I muttered.
"The thing is, you don't touch me when we sleep and you also don't even cuddle with me. I know I asked you to not get close but now I feel you are doing too much," I tell him.
"What are you complaining about? I am touching you right now, isn't that something? I'm confused you know. What's the issue," he asked.
"I don't know. Maybe you are the issue. You didn't seem happy when I told you that I'm not pregnant," I countered and he chuckled.
"You never cease to amaze me. You were happy you weren't pregnant and you expect me to jump around too," he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Firstly, I'm happy that you are happy but I'd in being honest with you, I want kids but since you are not ready, that's not a problem," he clarified.
"So you are fine with me?" I asked.
"Of course. I told you there is no issue unless you want there to be one," he curled his lips to the side.
"No. Not at all," I shook my head.
"So about the birth control, I'm thinking of getting it and I want you to come with me, that way even if you come inside of me, I won't be afraid," I said to him, boring into his eyes.
From the moment Adrian and I started to have sex, we have never used condoms but he made sure to pull out each time until that day.
"Fine," he replied but I felt it wasn't coming from the bottom of his heart.
"Okay. When I am on birth control, we can resume and continue doing what other couples do," I tell him and he nodded his head.
"Okay."
I wasn't pleased by his reply at all. It didn't settle with me. It was as if he was agreeing with everything I said because he had no choice or because he didn't want to offend me.
"Is that all?" He asked.
"Yes. Are you angry with me?" I asked him.
"Why would I be angry with you? I have to her ready for today, I already told you that I have to meet someone by seven this morning," he said.
"Okay," I replied.
I watched as he got up from the bed and entered the bathroom. I just couldn't help but feel that I was doing too much.
Was I asking too much from him? I'm his wife and he is my husband and I have been depriving him of sex. I ran my finger through my hair.
"Adrian," I called from outside the bathroom.
"Yes," he answered.
"Can I come with you to where you are going to?" I asked.