[FLASHBACK: 15 Years Ago]
Zordan’s POV:
Marcus was quite younger than me, by a few years. But in his mystic brown eyes, I could see a dark glint towards me, compared to natural innocence I saw in her eyes.
Peering deep into his gaze, I breathed a heavy sigh and muttered, “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” His witty smile grew a bit wide as he mentioned, “Why are you leaving so soon? Come with me, I will introduce you to my fiancee—”
“Marcus…” By this time, I had lost my self-control to suppress my inner turmoils anymore. I peered a death glare in his eyes and muttered in a low voice, “If you ever make her cry…I will kill you.”
“H-Huh? What?”
Shocked and baffled at my threat, before Marcus could ask me any more questions, I heftily walked out of the hall room without looking back anymore. The flare of anger was burning inside me I don’t know why I lost the grip over myself. It was an unlikely act of mine but Maxim followed me quickly outside.
As soon as we reached a bit far, my chest started to feel heavy in pain and I paused my motion and stood against a pillar as support. Maxim, with a perplexed gaze towards me, stood in front of me and asked, “P-Prince Zordan…Why did you say such a thing to Prince Marcus? You have been acting a bit weird throughout the ceremony…what is wrong with you?”
No matter how many times he asked me, I couldn’t answer him and stared blankly at the ground below. Clenching my fist, all I could do was regret everything from the very start. Nothing should have happened at all…then perhaps, I wouldn’t have to face so much of pain.
Watching me breathe a heavy sigh, Maxim walked a step closer and asked me in a low, curious voice, “Your Grace, please be honest, is she the one? Did you fall in love with…Prince Marcus’s fiancee?
This time, my heart thumped aloud again but not with excitement, it was a bitter pain that his words pointed out to me. The minimal endurance I was holding until this time became uncontrollable as I started to mourn helplessly. I covered my face and cried my heart out, unable to show this shameful face to anyone. Even when I lost my mother before, I couldn’t bear myself to let out this pain but after losing the one I loved, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“I…I didn’t even get the chance...Maxim…I…I didn’t even get to tell her how much...how much I loved her! I…I can’t believe that I lost her! Why…Why do I always lose the ones I care for? Isn’t this unfair!!? Why…I just wanted to be with her.”
While I bawled my eyes out venting the immense despair before me that was burning me inside, Maxim stood still like a statue, holding a teary gaze at me. He didn’t stop me from crying, nor he said a word to console me. But after a brief moment, he slowly moved closer to me and hugged me tightly in his small arms.
“I am sorry…P-Prince Zordan…I know this is a bitter feeling but, I hope…you will get over her one day…I really wish so…”
Even though he spoke those kind words to me, I couldn’t feel relieved at all. Maybe because deep in my heart, even at that young age, I had already decided it would be only Gabriel who will own my heart.
Maybe I had already chosen her as my destiny, so I wanted to hold onto my decision forever. It will be always Gabriel…or no one else.
Even if that will be an impossible dream for the rest of my life, I will continue living in it.
…….
“She must have passed out from some shock and exhaustion. It is nothing serious other than that, Your Grace.”
After finishing the examination of her body, the royal physician answered me politely while checking her pulse. Gabriel was lying down pale and unconscious on my bed, and all I could do was stand next to the bed with my worried gaze ardently glued on her.
All the vivid memories from the past when I met and lost her for the first time were running in my mind screen as I kept gazing at her. Her breathing was a little slower than usual, but the physician assured me again that it was because she was worn out.
“Are you sure that nothing else has happened to Her Royal Highness?” Standing beside me, Maxim countered his strict query to the physician in his deep, low voice. He seemed more perplexed than me, as he walked a step ahead.
“Ah, yes. There is nothing to worry about. Her pulse and everything else is running normally. I guess she must have fainted because she couldn’t bear the shock of her father’s sudden demise.” The old lady physician peeked a small glimpse at her numb face while she answered us. “She is so young, and this news must have devastated her.”
Hearing her response, Maxim exhaled a deep sigh and turned his head aside to look at me. I couldn’t meet his eyes and kept my head down but I could feel his piercing cold gaze towards me. The painful guilty emotions thrived in my heart as I could realize, I was the main culprit behind her failing health.
More than her father’s demise, she was completely devastated to discover my sinful side.
Even though I never wanted to hurt her and wished to devote my entire life to her for a long time. But my fate has to be this cruel?
________________________