Gabriel’s POV:
I could watch a pale look of despair grow evident on his face as I asked him sternly, without averting my gaze. A vein popped on the side of his fair white neck as he mumbled, “W-What?”
A pained smile curved my lips as I asked him with my crooked voice.“Because no matter how much I think, when I look back at all those memories, I can only define them as a sweet distant dream compared to the horrific nightmare I am going through.
When…I was foolishly drawn towards you, did you enjoy toying with my feelings like this? Have you always hated me?” My voice broke a little as tears choked my throat.
“I have never deceived you, for not even once!” Once again, he ardently claimed aloud, peering his deep gaze into my orbs. “You were not the only one who felt like this…I-It was the same for me too. How could I ever hate you, Gabriel? Every action of mine had a reason behind it…” Again, I sensed that vivid desperation in his voice.
“If that’s so, then…why did you do this to me?”
But, without backing off anymore, my stiff words backfired on him as I glared intensely into his dark, somber eyes. With my teary vision and growing dizziness, my balance was becoming unsteady but I tried to get a grip over myself as I couldn’t help but demand a proper justification from the person who meant the world to me.
But on the contrary, he stood silent and slowly leaned down his head, keeping a stiff, conflicted look on his face.
Desperation grew inside my heart with his silence as I moved a step closer and grabbed his arm, with my teary eyes glued upon him. “Zordan, I must be insane to tell you this, but I still want to hear your reason! Please…I beg of you, just tell me once why did you do this to me. What was the reason that pushed you to the edge of stabbing your sword into my…father?
Were you forced by someone? A part of my heart still wants to believe that you didn’t do it with your own will–”
“No.”
Before I could wrap my sentence, his low, curt voice halted my speech, causing a throbbing ache deep in my heart. My chest was feeling tight and a chill ran down my spine as I gawked at him, “W…What?”
“If you want me to be honest with you, then…I will be.” This time, his deep voice cracked as he lowered his gaze down from me and gritted his jowl. “I have killed your father because I wanted to do it, no one pushed me into this. And…forcing you to agree to my marriage proposal was also my own will.”
Even though a certain part of my heart had anticipated this bitter answer, still, once again like a naive fool I had expected to get at least a bit different answer from him this time. But instead, watching him brazenly confess his heinous sins before me, it shattered my heart into a wreck, leaving me completely miserable.
My grip on his hands moved as my wobbled motion retreated a step back from him. Heavy mournful tears rolled down my cheeks again as I grunted at him, clenching my fist, “You…You fuckin’ monster… Then why? What did my poor father do wrong to deserve this cruelty? He was already a terminally ill man, yet how could you do it, Zordan!?”
He kept his eyes down from me and retained his silence again. One more time, his suffocating silence surged the burning wrath and pain in my heart as I started sobbing bitterly and rushed ahead to grab him by his collar, “WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SILENT NOW!? GIVE ME AN ANSWER! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US!? MY FATHER HAD ALWAYS ADMIRED YOU YET, HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS TO HIM!? JUST GIVE ME A FUCKIN’ REASON!”
As I lashed out my frustration at him, he stayed completely silent with his vague, guilty eyes leaning down at the ground. He didn’t object nor he tried to push me away, but his numb reaction elevated my blazing anger more.
“HOW…JUST HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT ME TO SUFFER!?...HOW IS THIS LIFE BETTER THAN DEATH!? AT LEAST KILL ME AND END ALL MY SUFFERINGS RIGHT NOW! JUST LET ME REST IN PEACE…” I broke into immense painful tears, clenching my grip on his collar as I glared at him.
But finally this time, my words seemed to provoke a reaction from him as he lifted his dark gaze on me and groped my hand over his collar. Making a disdainful face, he mumbled, “Stop…Don’t talk about death, Gabriel. It’s my order.”
“What…now you don’t want me dead!? You must be kidding me!” My tears wouldn’t stop as my heart was burning inside from the agonizing pain. The dizziness in my head was increasing the sharp pain in the back of my head but I still glared at him as I charged, “You snatched my happiness and threw me away in the pit of hell, and now you don’t even want me to die! What the hell I am supposed to do then?”
“Gabriel–”
“I can’t…I can’t keep on living with this painful regret…” As I whimpered, my head felt strangely heavy and dizzy, as my clench over his collar loosened a bit. While sobbing, my head unknowingly leaned against his chest but he still stood numb.
“I regret everything…I regret giving my heart to such a cruel man like you… I wish only I could have turned back time…I would never choose to fall for you! I…I hate you! And…I hate myself so much for loving you with all my heart… I…I really...”
But to my surprise, this time, my condition started worsening drastically as my vision started to turn completely black. Before I could cope with the sudden blackout, my knees gave up on the strength to stand and I collapsed down on the ground. Suddenly, I started to feel breathless with cold chills running down my spine as I realized I was on the verge of fainting.
But even in that blurred senses, I could feel Zordan panicking at my sudden collapse as he embraced me tightly in his arms. While I could feel the warmth of his broad palms holding me, tears rolled down the corner of my eyes with my heart aching in regret and pain.
Even if I was going to die, my last moments would be in his arms and the thought strangely didn’t disgust me. I don’t know if it was my love for him or the admiration that I had carried along all this time, I was somewhat glad to pass out in his arms and rather not die alone.
My vision turned pitched black and as I closed my eyes, losing my senses, all I could hear was his fervent, panicked screams that rang in the hallway aloud.
“NOO!! GABRIEL! L-LOOK AT ME, DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES!!
MAXIM!! GUARDS!! SOMEONE COME HERE!! HURRY UP! CALL THE ROYAL PHYSICIAN HURRYYYY!!!”