"What happened to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You just disappeared off the face of the earth. You've been doing that a lot lately."
Olivia asks making me internally roll my eyes. Not at the question but at the fact that she kissed my man. Although I guess in her defense, she doesn't know. But that still doesn't stop me from being petty with her so,
"Can't I just take some time off for myself without you assuming something drastic happened?" I ignore the look Liz gives me after saying that. Olivia keeps quiet after my comment and that honestly makes me feel more bad than good.
I'm not a malicious person, at all. But all this compartmentalizing is getting the best of me. I know I'm becoming a different person, I can see it in the way Liz looks at me. It's like she's given up asking me questions now. I used to wish for that to happen but now I can't help but think she's given up on me altogether. I certainly didn't want that.
I suppose it was inevitable though, sometimes you're given no choice but to stop asking.
"What about you missy?"
I hear one of the other girls ask looking at Olivia,
"We haven't seen you around lately too, does that have something to do with a certain MVP?" Summer asks making Olivia blush and I almost spit out my milkshake.
"Really? You and Ezra?" Liz now asks in shock and she nods her head. I hope my face is not red right now from all the many emotions I'm keeping in.
I mean I know they shared the little kiss at Bruno's party but they've never hung out beyond that have they? That's not possible. He doesn't even find her attractive, right? At least that's what he'd told me.
"Is that where you were yesterday?" She nods and that confirms to me she's lying. Ezra was with me yesterday. Unless,
"He wanted to go say sorry to Bruno at the hospital and asked me to tag along."
I feel my heart beating really fast. No it can't be, I refuse to believe it.
"Do you like him?" Summer asks. She hasn't yet stopped blushing.
"A lot. He's got a small get-together at his house later for Bruno. I think I'll tell him there."
At this point I feel numb.
"D'you think I can join you. I'm trying to get away from my dad." I say before I'm able to stop myself. My brain screams for me to take that back but my heart won't let me. If there's something happening between them, I need to know.
"Yea of course. It's gonna be a small thing but I'm sure we can fit in one more person." She says and I try all my might to not give a fake smile then say,
"Awesome."
We all continue to sit and chat as my mind keeps running wild.
'Hey babe, what are you doing later?' I decide to text him after a while. Maybe because I want to see if he'll lie but he responds saying,
'Just hanging out with the boys you?'
I decide not to text him back, that's technically not a lie. But I'm mad that he invited Olivia even after the kiss they'd shared.
I have no desire whatsoever to see Bruno but I don't care about him. I need to know if it's true.
As Olivia and I walk inside the still not-so-familiar mansion that belongs to my so called-boyfriend, I see her walking like she owns the place. Clearly she's been here a few times. I don't even know where exactly everyone is sitting but she seems to the way she's leading us to the backyard.
"Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom quickly," I say stopping her in her tracks. I need to breathe.
"Yeah sure, it's just down that way."
I know where the bathroom is, this is my boyfriend's house. I don't tell her that though, I just force a smile then say,
"Thanks, Liv." Before making my way to it.
I stare at myself in the mirror once I'm inside then take a big breath to calm myself down. I don't know what I'll do if it's true.
Will I run away? Will I confront him? Or will I just forgive him like I always do?
I ignore the familiar pain of my heart breaking again.
I decide to make my way out a while after I feel calm enough to. I'm just going to say hi and act like nothing's happening. I know he's going to be shocked to see me but it's not like he'll say anything in front of everyone. He's ashamed of me.
"Ouch," I wince after colliding with a muscular figure as I make my way to go join everyone outside.
"I'm so sorry," he says with a chuckle and I ignore the urge to punch the owner of that voice. Not because he's laughing at our situation but because,
"Get away from me," I say standing up to create a distance between us. There's literally no one else in this gigantic house and he can forcefully do whatever he wishes to me without anyone hearing me scream.
"Alex, please listen to me." He says as I continue walking backward. I can feel my body shake in terror, I didn't know how much I was affected by what he did to me.
"I'm so sorry for what I did to you." His face is soft and I hate that my heart is calming down a bit. I want to hate him forever.
"What I did to you - I... Alex, please." Why does he look so sad?
"Why?" My voice barely comes out. I ask but nothing can ever justify what he did to me.
"I just - I don't know. I'm an idiot. I'm trying to fix that though." He says as my heart continues to forgive him without my permission. It's the way his eyes glow with sadness when he talks, or maybe the way his voice breaks unwillingly. But something inside me knows this man is truly sorry.
I'm not ready to forgive him though, despite my heart saying otherwise. So I say to him,
"I just need space Bruno."
My brain's not going to forget what he did to me, I still remember it like it was yesterday.
So we stand just staring at each other awkwardly. My legs refuse to make any kind of movement, probably because I'm realizing that walking outside won't be any easier than the situation I'm currently in. But I feel my world collapse when,
"Alex?" The shock in his tone is unmissable. I don't know if it's because I'm speaking to Bruno or if it's that I'm there at all. Maybe both.
I don't say anything, I just turn around to look at him. Daring him to say something. I'm not surprised when he doesn't. He instead looks at me and then at Bruno repeatedly. Something seems to be stuck on his tongue.
We're all just standing there uncomfortably staring at each other and I feel thankful when,
"Is everything good here?" I don't like to hear that voice but right now I needed to hear it.
"Nothing, we were all just going back outside." He says and I wonder why he sounds mad. He's the one who invited the girl he kissed to his house without informing me.
We then head outside to join the few people that are there. I ignore Olivia taking his hand as I walk behind them, I also ignore my heart break at his non-attempt to stop her.
When we finally sit down, I look the other way because I want more than anything to not see his face. He's sitting comfortably next to Olivia and I'm surprised that my heart still feels pain, isn't it supposed to adjust to it?
"Bruno, I hope you've apologized to my friend for what you did," I hear Olivia say as I scroll through my phone doing nothing in particular. I hate to say it but I regret coming here. I'd expected him to text me and explain himself but I guess he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong because he hasn't bothered.
I'm so caught up in my mental rant that I almost miss Bruno's response,
"There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about what I did."
My eyes unconsciously travel to my dear boyfriend who's got a void expression on his face. Everyone's now quiet looking at me, I guess so I can say I forgive him. So,
"It's ok." It's not.
"Uhm, I'm gonna head out," I finally say after a while. Being here has been a pain, clearly I'm intruding so I decide to end my unwanted visit.
I then stand up not bothering to wait for a response.
Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as I make my way outside, all the while requesting uber. I then wait outside feeling the cold wind blow against my skin. I feel numb.
"Are you ok?"
I wonder how he managed to get away from the group, he probably told them he was going to the bathroom.
I nod and he doesn't say anything, he just stands next to me in the cold as I wait for my Uber to arrive.
He used to be able to can sense when I wasn't doing well. I wonder if he still can, or if he's just too ashamed to say anything. I don't know if I even want him to say anything.
It feels like forever before the uber finally pulls over on his driveway and I make my way to it.
"I love you," I hear him shout as I get in the car and close the door. I close my eyes as the driver starts the car to drive us away, finally letting out the tears that have been begging me to come out.